The Session-Dating in the Digital Age-Part 2

Article by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin, Focus on the Family, Oct. 2023Philippians 2:3-4Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”Virtual PitfallsTexting can be a very helpful tool as you get to know someone.  But there are some areas to avoid:Bread-crumbing-This involves sending out flirtatious messages with no real intention of committing.  *Scott question: Would this more true of guys?·  Flirting·  No intention for commitment·  Done in the virtual world, breadcrumbing includes texting and social media·  If someone you’re talking to virtually appears to be hot or cold, it may be important to set a boundary  **What would boundaries look like?·  It is also possible to say that you are confused with where the relationship is going.  **So face-to-face would be in order for clarity?Ghosting·  25% of men and 22% of women report having been ghosted·  Ghosting occurs when you’re having conversation with someone virtually and all of a sudden it stops without explanation.·  Often times people find this to be the easy way out of stopping a relationship.·  Rather than talking through it, saying it doesn’t have a future an individual just stops altogether communicating·  Digital messaging enables the easy way out·  The “slow fade” is a version of ghosting. Instead of ending the relationship abruptly, the slow-fader gradually decreases contact until the relationship fizzles.  *Scott question: Would this be used if someone realizes they have “gone too far” with this relationship?Text Message Breakup.·  57 percent of millennials admitted to breaking up with someone via text. Sixty-nine percent said they’d been broken up with in this manner. A text-message breakup is one of the most unhealthy ways to end a relationship.  *Scott: I had at least one student in a class of 12 recently tell me they broke up someone via text.(Millennial = individuals born between 1981 and 1996) Healthy Use of Virtual Communication·  Send romantic and encouraging texts to your spouse·  Write a tribute to your spouse on social media*Scott question: Only to the spouse?  Not the fiancé or dating partner?Additional Important Things to Know Before MarriageHaving willing hearts. Whether this is in regards to conversations with your spouse, intimacy, the sacrifice of your time, energy, or desires, be ready and willing to open your heart to your spouse. Willingness in conversation means being ready to listen, share, and apologize. Willingness in intimacy involves pursuing, embracing, and trying new things. (Building A Lasting Marriage: The 3 Most Important Things Every Marriage Needs) Gary Thomas on Focus on the Family·  Focus on your spouse’s strengths rather than their weaknesses.·  Encourage rather than criticize.·  Pray for your spouse instead of gossiping about them.·  Learn and live what Christ teaches about relating to and loving others.To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at [email protected], or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com