The Struggle of Divorce: Part 4 Is it a Boundary or is it Control?

Boundaries are essential to all healthy relationships. A boundary tell you where you stop, and others begin. Boundaries well enforced tell others where they must stop, so they don’t intrude on you. 

People with week, poor, rigid, or unidirectional boundaries have difficulty maintaining a relationship.

Often, in couples’ conflict there is a direct correlation between boundary maintenance and unresolved conflict. E.g. if one party feels that they have the right to tell others what to do or how to do it, then there is no boundary for respecting the autonomy of other people. This often leads to nagging, controlling, criticizing, contempt language, anger, etc. The transgression of boundaries against another person will likely result in resentment, push back, anger, hurt, fear, and other reactive feelings. 

Boundaries protect you from being intruded upon by self-focused others and prevent you from intruding upon others for your own selfish reasons….