The struggle of moving in and out of paradise

Last night, I couldn't sleep. I was trying to fall asleep. And I was just feeling so wide awake in the dark room. So I took half a sleeping pill and I fell asleep. But I only slept probably eight hours. I don't think I got to sleep until one woke up at nine, some going to work. And I was driving just feeling kind of angry. So I'm still stuck at the level of consciousness of anger. But then it was sort of morphing. And I was feeling like the power of it and feeling like moved to action by anger versus festering in it. And so I was sort of, I don't know, like enjoying the anger, or like neutral about it, as opposed to resisting it. So it changed in a way like, it made me realize, hey, in a month or less, I could go back to the island, or when I go to California, if I go, maybe I can try never come back, or just keep going on a journey, like go on a journey. See what happens. And so my mind was a little bit more focused on that. I do want to see Celine Dion. And I might do this online meditation program, because an enlightened master I met years ago was coming back into town. And I was thinking of one day traveling to see him just to be like, Hey, what's up. And I do think this struggle moving in and out of Paradise is going into paradise, aka kind of mania and falling out of it depression. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/bipolar_inquiry. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.