The Ten Chocolate Commandments

In Episode 252 of The Black Lincoln Collective Comedy Podcast, Parker opens the show by admitting he forgot to write the intro, which is honestly one of the cleaner ways a BLC episode can start. The crew celebrates the newly expanded website archive, clarifies that the site does not really look new except for one button that leads to a million other things, and then immediately shifts into the main business of the week: selling chocolate. Parker’s daughter is selling World’s Finest Chocolate, which gives him the chance to pitch Fred and Allan like a desperate school-fundraiser middleman. The bars are smaller, more expensive, and allegedly still the world’s finest because the label says so. That turns into a full candy-hustle bit about kids buying their own supply, cold-calling family members, door-to-door sales, QR codes, and Parker realizing he is paying taxes, paying for the trip, and now paying again through chocolate. Then the crew spins the whole thing into the Ten Chocolate Commandments, a ridiculous street-sales parody about never getting high on your own supply, keeping family and business separated, watching for the chocolate police, and staying dangerous in the candy streets. The sales talk leads to scam talk. The guys riff on kids pretending to collect donations for football teams or lawn-care businesses, the minimal investment required to look official, and the power of a clipboard, a t-shirt, and just enough confidence to make adults hand over five dollars. Then it’s time for sports. Football is coming back, Fred’s son is starting middle school football, and the crew talks about playing on a tiny team, getting number 62 instead of Fred’s old number 55, and being thrown into a scrimmage against a private-school football program that beats them 56 to 6. That leads into a viral story about a 16-year-old girl tackling a middle school football player from the sideline, which sends the guys into jokes about family loyalty, The Waterboy, sideline justice, and why the wrong person may have been on the team. The sports segment continues through WNBA chatter, awkward naming jokes, Usain Bolt, and a Chinese humanoid robot reportedly running faster than Bolt’s top speed. The guys compare Bolt racing the robot to John Henry battling the steam drill, then spend several minutes realizing, debating, and rediscovering that John Henry dies in the story. That somehow becomes a broader conversation about man vs. machine, old Fox TV specials, Survivor, and why fighting technology is futile. Naturally, they consider letting AI do the podcast next week. Before the break ends, Parker brings up Ray Chapman, the Cleveland shortstop who died after being hit by a pitch in 1920, because apparently “sports” now includes tragic baseball trivia and collectible cards from the 1970s. After the break, the crew plays Would You Rather, and the episode gets even more unhinged. The questions start with waking up naked in a forest five miles from home or in underwear at work, then move into food vs. adult activities, erasing memories, AC vs. internet, being respected vs. being elite at something nobody values, punching or talking out of situations, nervous glitter sneezes, warm maple syrup sweat, mood-ring skin, thought-whispering hair, bean-sized men, man-sized beans, toes for $500,000, dog-controlled internet, cats writing traffic laws, three years in prison vs. two weeks in the Jurassic period, and underwater cave diving. By the end, the guys have debated survival, shame, sticky syrup, dinosaurs, toes, caves, cavemen, and whether Parker is a caveman or just a man cave. It is fundraising, football, weird sports, robot anxiety, and impossible choices in one very sticky episode. #blcpodcast #podcastingforthepeople #funny #podcast #greenvillesc #scpodcast #yeahthatgreenville Listen at: https://americasfavoritepodcast.com Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/blcpodcast/ Check us out on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blcpodcast/ Buy Fred and Allan Beer: https://www.patreon.com/blcworld