The Ugly Phase

Any watercolor artist will tell you:Every watercolor painting has an ugly phaseYou’ll be certain the effort is a bustKeep going.It’s the nature of the mediumWorking from light to darkBig shapes to small shapesIt’s the layers that give the final result texturePersevere.The only way out is through -The details come at the end and bring it all together.I did not know this.I learned it from my daughterWhich, in and of itself, was miraculousShe had been a perfectionistAnd had balled up and thrown away many an unfinished piecePart of her learning process had been a pretty frustrated breakdownRight before a breakthroughUntil an $80 watercolor workshop series changed everythingLearning about The Ugly PhaseAnd the necessity to continue, to trust, to be playful, evenGenerated a thread of willingness I hadn’t seen in her beforeOne no amount of encouragement from me had touched(We never know when the penny will dropBut i think it’s often aided when it’s not a parent telling you)Nonetheless, learning about the ugly phase as inevitablePreempted the breakdown, and allowed patience for the processIt even put her in relationship to the painting as it was evolvingInstead of having the painting simply be the execution of a planThat might have been the moment she went from‘Kid who likes art’ to ‘artist’More than once this has come up as a great metaphor for lifeAlmost everything we’re good atWe were once bad atAnd the period in between was not a straight line nor an easy lineBut something kept us goingSomething drew us forward to learn and experiment and evolveGot us past the possibility of failure and into possibility itselfI very much feel my next career chapter has been in the ugly phase for a whileThe color palette is right, the broad shape feels accurateBut it’s not looking like what I’d like it to look likeAnd a lot of details need to be addedWhile my confidence is skepticalThank goodness I’ve had this experience and educationThis lesson from my daughter and from artNot to let the ugly phase get me downBut to Breathe. Envision. Create. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com