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I'm Ash. And this right here is morbid. It is, yeah, I thought so. It's pretty morbid.
Good, good, good. And you know what guys, don't worry, this is going to be real morbid. Yeah, this is really going to lift your spirits guys. It certainly is because I've decided to dive into one that many people have requested.
I'm not going to tell you what it is yet. I want to start it and really be theatrical about it. You know what I love? I love when we're like, we're not going to tell you yet, but nine out of ten times the person's name is in the title of the episode.
Oh, I'm going to name the episode who it is. But for my own like, oh, I know sure right now, I'm going to be like, yeah, you don't know who it is. That was the, that was a realization that I just had live. Yeah, so you know what?
Me too. So that's funny. Here we are. Guys, it's been a week for literally every single person on planet Earth.
I'm pretty sure. Yes, like the entire planet potentially even those on Mars space who knows. So everybody's super stressed out. So we're going to try to bring you a good episode that you can just sail away into into a land of brutality and.
So little way, so little way, so little way. She just pulled back with the space like I'm going to do it. I'm so fucking ready. She's like, I'm going to go full and yeah.
I'm going to do it. No, do you know that Enya lives in a fucking castle by herself with her cats knowing that right now has fed my soul in a way that I can't even describe to you. I'm going to tell you that my only source is a meme that I found on the internet, but I so hope that that meme is accurate. It is.
There's no way Enya lives anywhere but a castle with her cats alone. Yeah, that's like that's a dream. Enya lives rent free in my head. Same all the same.
Yeah, literally same. Well, I think other than telling you that any lives will have a castle with her cats. The only other news that we have for you is if you haven't checked out shop. Where the podcast calm, then you don't know that your feet could be as weird as your fucking brain.
I can't wait for my morbid socks guys. Guys, there's morbid socks. There's also fucking a shirt with a booty on it, but I can't wait to wear and offend old people across the nation. We just like take that or just like people that suck and don't want to look at an ass on your shirt.
Hold on to your butts. It literally says hold on to your butts and there's a skeleton pointing at the butts. I love it. There's also one that's a raccoon that says I'm trash.
Yeah. And there's like a couple other ones. They're morbid, plain chat design is now in there. Yeah, I think it's a little like updated.
I think so. Yeah. So it's just a lot of fun stuff in there. Yeah.
And you can head on over to shop. Morbidpodcast.com to be deck, Ted to toe and morbid merch because you know what it's the holiday season. So buy some shit. Yeah.
That's it. All right. We're going to get to see by someone. I don't know who but so let's start this.
Okay. Because this is going to be a multi-part. We're in for it guys. But guess what?
Because it's the holiday season and I'm feeling very very gift, gifty. It's also not the holiday season. I don't know why you say it's a holiday season. Everybody's you know what everybody's selling Christmas a little so early.
I'm upset about it. But honestly in these times we should have stretched Halloween out further. We should have but we didn't. So we have to work with what we have.
So I'm going to I'm going to go with Christmas. Okay. I'm going to go with it. I have some nifty gifties for you and the nifty gifties are that I'm going to give you part two of this the same week.
So you only have to wait like two like two days before you get the rest because honestly taking this all in one session would be a lot for all of us. Yeah. Yeah. It's just a lot.
So I'm going to give you a big old part one. Okay, sis. It's just like a diesel part one. So let's start.
Shall we? I am I'm as ready as I ever will be. I feel I hope everybody's ready. So this person's autobiography which I can't say that I recommend that you read it.
Ten out of ten don't recommend. It's called butchering humanity butchering humanity. And by it on gentle interesting for sure. But it's also highly offensive and like there's and it's this person's words which are very offensive and very gnarly.
I feel like it's all packed into the title. So am I going to judge you if you want to read it? Absolutely not because why I read it. So I'm not going to judge you for that.
But just letting you know it's for research purposes. Just letting you know before you dive in that there's going to be some times where you're like, oh Lord. Okay. So this person's autobiography.
There's a quote that I think sums up their life. Okay. The quote is I have lived 36 years in this world and soon I expect to leave it. All that I leave behind me is smoke death, desolation and damnation.
Is that written by Satan? Pretty much. Okay. Also another quote that I think perfectly sums up this person is their quote that says, I am sorry for only two things.
These two things are I'm sorry that I mistreated some few animals in my lifetime and I'm sorry that I'm unable to murder the whole damn human race. Wow. Okay. Those are two things.
Those are two things. Those are two things. So you know what? Let's go to June 28th, 1891, shall we?
Sure. When one Karl Panzram came just shooting into this world. I think in a bundle of just like sulfur and wow and just shit. You know, it was cancer season.
So there you go. Here he comes. I believe his actual like given name is Charles, which is interesting. Oh, I didn't know that Carl was short for Charles.
I don't know if it is, but he went by Carl. Cool. Go with that. He was born to Johann and Matilda Panzram Matilda.
They were German immigrants and quite possibly some of the most ill prepared parents that I've ever seen. Good. It's being nice. And by the way, this whole part one, we're only going to get to like his first murder after all this, but I just want to like tell you ahead of time.
His entire life is like one big true crime. And I think halfway through this, you're going to go. Oh, wait, we haven't murdered anyone yet? Like you're going to be like, wait, we have what?
Are you sure? Wow. And there's there's like 20 murders, aren't there? There's like 21 murders.
So we yeah, so I was getting to the end of the first part and I was like, wait, we're just getting to the murder. And I think it's because like his soul was murdered several times over. So I think you just feel like it just people things keep dying. Oh, good.
This is going to be uplifting, huh? It's going to be a lot of fun. Everybody. I hope you got your popcorn.
You're just ready to go. Okay. I'm ready to just lift you up. So yeah, they were terrible parents.
He was born in East Grand Forks, Minnesota, Minnesota, Don't you know, don't you know, and he was the youngest of eight. That's a lot of children. He only had one sister. The rest were all brothers.
Oh, my mom's a lot of my mom. That was my children. That was not the children. She was not and she was like, she was like, barely a mom.
Yeah, she's like, not even a mom, really. Good. Good. So yeah, it's very good.
So his parents were dirt farmers. I can't quote unquote. They farmed to dirt. Hey, they had like a plot of land that was very dirty.
How you say infertile? It was it was not really given them a whole lot to work with. They were trying. They worked long hard hours.
No one will say that they were not workers. That is for sure. And again, they wanted the American dream. They did not get it.
I can say that with full confidence that I don't think they both went to the pearly gates being like, Yep, got that American dream. Like shit was real rough for them. Yeah, it was no good. But their kids, I mean, they had all those kids.
That's great. That's awesome. Yeah. So and you went to work in this family as soon as you could walk, I think as soon as you could like maybe form like kind of like a solid ship.
You could probably go to like once you got out of that infant phase of just like that. I can say the tar poop. You're all everyone's like turning this up. You know newborn tar poop.
You do. All you parents out there, anyone who's babysat a little thing, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little. You all know you're with me. But basically you were out in the fields right off the bat.
You were working, working, working. Now from it where they were and at this time from the age of five onward, kids had to go to school. That was a law, you know, truancy laws and all that. Yeah, that is good.
And for normal families, that would mean the child would probably work less on the farm because they are in school all day. No, to the pan's Rams. However, it just meant they would take the time lost on the farm while Carl was at school. And they would just take it out of his sleep schedule.
Oh, no. Because that's good, right? Like kids don't need sleep. No, no, you're still.
I was just going to say ask my youngest. She'll tell you 100% that kids don't need even a lick of sleep. So yeah, they were like, we'll just take it out of your sleep schedule. He ended up having only at the most two hours of sleep at night as a six year old boy.
What the fuck? He would be out in the middle of the night working on the farm in the fucking middle of the night in the cold at six years old. After being at school all day. Like, why?
And then sleeping for a max of two hours and then doing it all over. You know what that would do to your brain? Well, yeah, I can go ahead and tell you what that does to your brain. I started to really falter in school, obviously.
He's probably like hallucinating in first grade. And also, it's just mentally and physically he's deteriorating. Yeah. And as any parent of a sleepless child can attest to lack of sleep really starts to get to you.
And this is a six year old who is doing hard labor in the middle of the night in the colds. And like his brain is developing. So he was like silent at school. They said he was very withdrawn.
He would literally just like stare blankly off into the distance. He was probably sleeping with his eyes. He was just in a state of not even there, like a zombie state. And so they were like, we couldn't you'd ask him a question.
And he was just like, days out of six. I know. Can you imagine a six year old being dazed? No.
Like I have almost five year olds that literally never stop talking. They don't. So according to his autobiography, he says, quote, my portion of pay on the farm consisted of plenty of work and a good sound beating every time I looked cock-eyed or done anything that displeased anyone who was older and stronger, enabled to catch me and kick me around whenever they felt like it. It seemed to me then and still does now that everything was always right for the one who was the strongest and every single thing that I done was wrong.
Everybody said so anyway. Wow. So right off the bat, you can see that he's having a very loving upbringing. We're not seeing any red flags.
None. I haven't seen a single one. He seems to me to be completely nature, no nurture whatsoever. Right.
Yeah. I don't see anything that would lead to him wanting to like hurt the rest of humanity. No. And you know what?
We're definitely not going to see it next for sure. Uh oh. For sure. So then he started to break down physically because he's already breaking down.
That's the first thing that's going to happen. Then you're going to get started getting sick. Yeah. And so he started having this whooping kind of like smokers cough that he never got rid of as a six year old.
What? Yeah. So we wait. He had it for the rest of his life.
He just kept having he couldn't get rid of it. What the fuck. And it just wouldn't get better. He had a ton of like little illnesses happen, but his parents would just like let him suffer through them because your body needs sleep.
The human body is designed to go to sleep and you know, like money and time and nurturing were not things that they were willing to sacrifice for their kids. So they were just like, you'll be fine. Can you work? Like, why did you have eight of them so they could work?
That's so honestly, they're like, this is fine. Just as long as you can stand up and work. So it's seven years old. And this is gnarly guys just to let you know.
And seven years old, he got a really bad ear infection. Because again, he's not sleeping and he's in the cold at night all the time. Oh, I can like feel in your infection. Terrible ear infection.
I got a ton of them when I was little. I did too. I was like, you know, they're like cauliflower ear. That's what happened.
He became deaf on that side. Like, that's how bad it was. And he wasn't, you know, when, especially kids excruciating pain with my infection, he was literally to the point where the air infection was so bad that he couldn't walk straight. Like he was losing his balance.
Because your equilibrium is all fucked up and it was making him like ill. So his parents were like, well, shit, he can't work on the farm if he can't stand up straight. So maybe we should do something about this. But we're not going to take him to a doctor.
No money. His dad was like, all right, what can I do? Oh, I'll just cut it open and see if the infection comes out. But the actual flock.
Yeah. So they held him down a seven year old on the dining room table table. All his brothers laid on top of him to held him down while his father started slicing at his ear to try to drain the infection. All seven of his brothers lying on top of him as he screams at one point.
He was fighting so much to get away from the pain that the knife slipped and stabbed him in his ear slash brain. What? Because if you put something in your ear, you're right there. What?
That brain right back. Actual fuck. Lucky for him, he passed out from pain eventually. When he woke up, his parents were pouring lava hot boiling water into the wounds.
So into his brain. Yeah. To just clean them. Well, that's what they were trying to do.
You're not a medical doctor. You're not doing anything right. My my dudes. You are not doing one good thing here.
You're actually doing everything wrong. Well, he went absolutely bonkers after this. Like as soon as he woke up in the boiling water, he's being poured on him. He like lost his shit.
You don't say he ended up punching a few of his brothers, like just losing it and punching people screaming, literally having a breakdown. According to the book, Kill'emall by Ryan Green, which is a really interesting book about this case. I recommend it and I'll put it. I'll put all these books in the show notes.
His family assumed that this pain, like the pain from this had just driven him mad, like literally insane. And this was the beginning of the end for him. But in reality, it was likely the fact that his father had literally stabbed his brain with a fucking knife while inflicting pain that none of us can even comprehend after months and months of literal child abuse and sleep deprivation at six and seven years old. He probably hit the frontal lobe and we all know what happens then.
If you're new here, the frontal lobe, very important to all. I don't know emotional and behavioral and impulse regulation. Hello, me, Carl. So he literally had brain damage at the age of seven.
His dad literally was like, whoop. Sorry. He almost had an ice pickle bottom. He literally did.
He basically did. They just didn't like sever whatever they did. They need to. Oh my god.
My ear is like ringing right now. And I love that his family's like, I think he's my crazy because it hurts so much. It's like, you stabbed him in his brain. That'll do it.
And you've been beating this child like his entire life and sleep depriving him of sleep, which is literal torture. Good. We're off to a great start. So already you're like, whoa.
All right. This kid is not on a great path. Oh, no. So later, again, his autobiography said about his life, quote, I have no desire to reform myself.
My only desires to reform people who try to reform me. I believe that the only way to reform people is to kill them. Oh. So I we're going to connect this real quick.
I think that frontal lobe thing was a problem. I think it may have been bad. I'm looking at how he acts later and thinks later, I'm going to go ahead and say that's a big problem. It's sad because you really want this to be a success story, but we all know that it's not.
It's like the most antithesis of a success story. And this is also one of those things where yes, feel bad now, but then we're going to get to part two when you're not allowed to feel bad anymore. And honestly, there's most of this, you're not going to be able to feel bad, like feel bad for the kid. Yeah, we don't feel bad for the adults.
Of course, we don't know that. No. So well, weirdly, this home surgery didn't work to cure that ear infection. Yeah.
Did they have to like chop his motherfucking ear off? Well, he just ended up having to be hospitalized for weeks because the infection spread to his brain because they opened up giant holes where the infection just went, bloop, bloop, and just went right in. It didn't make that noise. So yeah, I think it probably did to Carl at the time.
He was probably definitely heard a few bloop, bloop, bloop. So kill them all suggests that there was likely some brain inflammation and definitely some seizure activity during this hospital stay up. Sure. And this further react is already shattered.
At seven at seven. So now, you know, one might say that Carl is a changed child. Yeah, you know that that'll do it. If your dad stops you in the brain, that'll change you.
Yeah, he didn't have a whole lot like really working in his favor before that, but this really changed him. He was now violent, aggressive. He was even colder, just completely blank. When he returned home from his hospital stay, the farm really had fallen apart because they could barely afford the doctor to be in my hospital stay and it completely drains them.
All his brothers had all left to go work at other farms because I think it was literally like, well, this isn't exactly a tight knit family as it is. So it's not like, we're like, stay and save the farm. They were like, fuck it. I'm going to make money somewhere else.
Dad's going to stab me in the brain. Pretty much. So he was the only one that was left over, to be honest. Oh no.
And the attention on him was not like pleasant attention as you might, you know, maybe deduce from this. You might gather. You might gather. So Carl made it a living hell for his parents who, to be fair, sucked.
So like, welcome to the hell you created, folks. Everybody just sucks. The only thing that even slightly kept Carl in line was his father because his father would just violently abuse him like a lot. Oh no.
So it wasn't that Carl listened or respected him. He would just kind of act as a deterrent, like if anything was like. So he didn't get the shit kicked out of him? Because he just didn't feel like getting the shit kicked out of him all the time.
So then his, you know, garbage dad just up at left. Oh, yeah. He was just like, there's a lot of debt here. We can't farm.
This kid's annoying. I'm just going to piece. Awesome. Good dad.
So until so until this alone. So he just left Carl and his mom with all the debts, the failing farm, everything. She was able to keep it all together barely, but she had a lot of help. Like the community kind of helped out, but they were dirt poor.
Right. Even even like being able to maintain things. They were barely maintaining things. I mean, like barely eating, barely clothing themselves.
It was like dire straits. That's awful. All the kids abandoned her because she was a shitty mom their whole lives and Carl was a literal nightmare. So this is just, this is just great.
And remember his own, his dad was the only thing that even slightly kept him in line. So now it's getting real fucked up around there. He was like the shepherd of his shit and he's gone. The shit shepherd has left the building.
No, Carl's just robin. Now he's in again, he has no source of fear. So he's really being violent. He's really being aggressive.
He's getting in a ton of trouble. He just doesn't give a shit. So now he started to skip school and he's just walking around the town of Warren, Minnesota, all by himself, just doing what he wants to do. And in 1899, at only eight years old, he became an alcoholic.
Yes. Eight years old. He's an alcoholic drinking heavily to the point where he was requiring it. I'm trying to think of like an eight year old that I know right now.
I don't think I know if I need your old. They're very small. They are very children. I'm at that age where I don't know how old any child is.
I'm like, oh, that's a kindergartener. And they're like, that's a fifth grader. Like that kid with the whiskey. That's an eight year old.
Don't worry about that. That's just Carl. The Jim Beam over there. Oh, no, don't worry about that.
That's just Carl hitting the sauce a little oily. It's like Jeffrey Dahmer with his little styrofoam cup. That's him. He was even older.
Yeah, he was. I think he was in the sixth grade. He was high at least or something or like middle school. This kid's eight.
Wait, wait, wait. And he stole from his absent father's liquor cabinet and he just started like that's where he started doing it. And then he would just wander into bars around town and the drunks thought he was hilarious because he's this eight year old walking into a bar like wanting a drink. So they would give him whiskey and just like keep because they thought it was hilarious.
That's not funny. That's abuse. I'm here to say this is not funny. And he was actually brought before a court for this because he was caught like being drunk in public at eight.
I feel like do you bring him to the court or do you bring the tilde to the court and be like, bitch, what's up? I think both of them were. But I think they were just like, well, there's the pans rams. Don't know what to say.
What? A rarest DCF. Yeah. And then we come to him being like 10 or 11 years old.
That's when you know, he's now heavily drinking still at 11 years old. And this is also when he's committing like actual crimes. He would get drunk. He'd wander around and he would just look for things to steal because he also was to the point now where he is seeing that his life sucks and that he is getting the shit end of the stick of everything.
He doesn't have anything he needs never mind anything he wants. He doesn't have anything he needs like he's being neglected in every way possible and he's looking at it like life is really shitting on me. But then I look over down the street here and this like Polacial Manson mansion or this nice farmhouse and these people have all the things they want. What the fuck right?
And no one's explaining to him like that this isn't just like, you know, some higher power giving these people that and giving these people that it's like the thing nobody's telling him how this is happening. So he's just like, why do they have it and I don't? Right. Because he's fucking 11.
And so now he's saying, well, it seems to me that these people got it because they took it. So I'm going to take it. Well, how else is he supposed to understand that? And I mean, is he wrong?
In a lot of situations he's probably not that far off from reality of the situation, but he's like, I'm going to go steal it. I want it. So one day he was looking at his neighbor's farmhouse and he was like, fuck it. I'm going in there.
So he's 11 years old and he just walks into his neighbor's farmhouse when they're not there because people would leave their drawers open and stuff. Just steals a cake like any 11 year old would. I mean, I'm not mad. Honestly, any 34 year old was I'm 34.
I would definitely steal a cake. I was like, he took some apples because he's probably not eating. He's going to say starving. He's malnourished and hungry.
And then he looks and he sees this fancy revolver and he's like, I'm going to steal that. Two minutes. Remember what a revolver was. And of course he just walks on home eating his cake and his apples, his little gun in his pocket and he's like, do, do, do, let's go home.
Yes. I'm like, hey, boy with an entire cake. What are you doing? You filthy boy holding an entire cake.
So they arrested him right away. And the courts weren't like, Hey, you're probably starving and have been abused your whole life. Maybe we should, I don't know help you because you're fucking 11? Yeah, they were like, all right, let's put him into the hands of the Minnesota State Reform School.
And oh, boy. Oh, no. Oh boy. We know what reform school does.
Let's just say this is definitely the beginning of the end for Carl panzeram for any humanity. I think that's just the birth was the beginning of the end. And in fact, in his own words, right there, and then I began began to learn about man's inhumanity to man. This is, yeah, so this is the beginning.
So they put him in the Minnesota State Reform School. It was a Christian-run facility, and it ran on the ideas of reforming young boys by just beating the shit out of them until they said what they wanted them to say, and that they were fully immersed in their Christian faith. And if not, we're just gonna give you regular beatings until you are. Oh no.
Which to me doesn't sound awesome. No, no, I can't say I'm into that. Doesn't seem like very reformative. Seems like a big old punishment.
Seems repetitive. Seems like a bad idea. When Carl first went there, he was met by the guy in charge, who's like, I don't know if you call him like a warden or like a dean. Yeah, like his name was George Mann, Dr.
George Mann. And this guy's a fucking crazy person. And he told him, so he goes into his office and he's like, hey Carl, welcome to reform school. And he's like, I got a question.
Have you ever been sodomized? Or have you sodomized anybody? No. Do you masturbate?
Have you had sex? Are you filthy? Have you done any of those things? Cause that makes you filthy.
And he was like, I'm 11. Like what? So he's like, excuse me? And he's like, are you homosexual?
And he's like, what? I don't even know what that is. I don't know what that is. Like what's happening?
Oh, this is the 1800s. Yeah. This is literally like, he was born in 1890. So this is probably the early 1900s.
Oh shit, I didn't even know that. Yeah. And so he's asking him all this crazy shit. He's like, is your dad, is your father insane?
Is your father a homosexual? He's like he's talking in the brain. And he's like, I don't know. He's not even around anymore.
I don't even know what to tell you. He made him forcibly stripped down naked. So he could give him an exam and make sure that he was not dirty or unclean or sick or diseased. And he explained to him, because he was like, oh, have you committed sodomized?
And he's like, I don't know what that is. And he's like, well, let me explain to you what it is. So explain to this 11 year old what sodomy was. Then he assaulted him, like pretty much assaulted him, to show him what it meant.
And then again, 11 years old. So wait, he's standing here telling him that that's unclean and not okay. And then he does it. But it's like, I gotta show you.
So you know it. So now I'm unclean. Oh, of course he's not unclean. No way.
He's showing him. He's teaching him a way. And he's saying. And then again, asking him about all the things.
And then he's like, OK, on your way. Welcome to school. And Carl's like, cool, cool. All right, so this is that.
Now, he quickly was shown a place called the painting shop. I feel like there's no paint there. Well, and so in Carl's own words, he was like, I feel like this must have just been like a sub-stupid art class that they make a steel like some therapy card class or something. That's what you would think.
No. So it was the next morning before dawn, he was taken to the painting shop. It was a small shack. It was like far away from the rest of the facility on like the outer edges.
And it was a place where they took children to quote paint their bodies black and blue. That's why it was called the paint shop. Oh, that's just terrific. Now the people in this reform school were about eight years old to 21.
They were eight year olds in here. This was supposed to be the welcome wagon to let kids know exactly what their stay here was gonna be if they got out of line. They're just gonna show you right off the bat. They're not even out of line yet.
No, but we're gonna make sure you know, you step out of line, you're gonna get this. Not that it's okay with it. No, it was literally like the welcome basket. They were like here, this is how we welcome you to this school.
This is a nightmare. So this is terrible, by the way. Like trigger warning, this is all terrible, but like sorry, I just hit my computer. But this is really bad.
So what happened in the painting shop was that he was stripped naked. He was held down and strapped face down onto a wooden bench. They placed a towel soaked in salt water on his back that covered all the way down to his knees. They then whipped the hell out of him with a belt designed for this specifically.
Now, George Mann there had designed this belt himself for specific reasons. And he would actually come and watch this be done because he derived present pleasure from watching his kids. Obviously. So it was a leather strap and it had holes all over it.
And this was that so every time you whipped the person, it would suck the skin into those holes. And eventually the more you did it, they would form blisters all over their body, which while the whipping continued, those blisters would burst open. And then your sea salt towel would pour salt into those wounds. I, yeah.
This is like real. They would literally do this. There's record of this school getting in trouble for this. Getting in trouble.
I like that you're like, and they got in trouble. Like not shut down. They got, what the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with everything?
Well, and even worse, these guards at this place were not like prison guards that go through like any kind of regulations or like sick bastards. They're just sick bastards. Literally anybody could be a guard here. Good.
And most of the guards actually quit immediately upon learning what they were gonna have to do to these kids. They were like, oh, fuck, no. I was not signing up for this. But then the ones that stayed were fucking psychopaths because they were like, oh, cool.
I get to hurt kids. Like it's wrong with everything. And then apparently the words spread around and all these kind of like dangerous fucking sadistic humans would come to these jobs to get their fix of like legal doing this. It's not legal.
So this was just a whole mess of shit. And then the kid that this was done to would immediately have to go straight to a class after like just throw on your clothes over your open wounds and they would have to go to a Bible study class, which they went to like a billion of those a day. They went to church a billion times a day. What the fuck are you going to church for if you're beating children?
Beating the morality into you. Get out of church if you're a fucking child. They're beating the morality into these kids. It's fucking disgusting.
It's crazy. Now again, like I said, George Mann literally got off on this shit. Like he liked watching kids in pain. I mean, if you design something like that, obviously.
And for him to think it's rude like that. That's disgusting. Well, what, so Carl, during this whole thing, saw George Mann's face. He saw the little like smirk on his face.
He knew immediately this guy is liking this. So what Carl did was he went silent and he literally would not make a sound while they did this. Because then George had gone off on it. He wouldn't put anything on his face.
He never made a sound. He acted like it didn't even bother him. He just sucked it up and just went through it. Wow.
And he had practice of doing this because he'd been abused his whole life. Right. So he was used to being able to put his brain somewhere else. He's just numb.
And so this pissed George Mann off. That's the thing. I feel like it would get worse. Yeah.
The whole reason for this is he wants to get his jollies from this. So Carl said this was the point where he was starting to lose complete humanity in any sense of empathy for anyone. Because look what's happening to him. And I mean, this is what created him as an adult, basically.
All of these things. But like this really made him start to connect to like pain and pleasure and hurting people and violence with like normalcy. And it's just, we'll see. It's like it's a theme throughout his whole life of like weakness and strength.
And so after these classes that these kids would have to take, they'd have a labor assignment. So they do hard labor as well. Carl got the kitchen assignment, which is kind of weird. But this meant that he was making the food and shit for the guards as well.
You know, put glass in it. I immediately when I read this was like fuck with that food, Carl. Fuck with that food. So hard.
Carl had the same idea. So I don't know how I feel about that. Like that we had a moment that we were both thinking the same thing. Well, no, but if people are going to abuse your entire life and then you'll get a chance to get back at somebody.
Anyone is going to do that. Well, boy, did he get back at them. So he said any liquid that would come his way, he would just piss right in. Incredible.
No matter what, he would just pee in all the liquid. I would. And then he said he would just jack off into every one of the foods that was going to their guards. And then he said he would sit next to them while they ate it.
It's like enjoy watching. OK, well, that just got a little bit twisted. It's real gross, but like young Carl, you're kind of like, you deserve that. Yeah, you need some form of happiness.
You need some of it. He's jacking off into somebody's fucking Twinkies. It's so fun. That's disgusting.
It's so fucked. So unfortunately, Carl was at the paint shop every day. I mean, they were trying that now they're saying. Because they're trying to break him.
You nailed it. Now their thing is they're breaking this kid. Exactly. They can break every other kid.
Why can't they break Carl? Because Carl was broken from the start. Yeah, he came out broken. So after that moment where he noticed pleasure being derived from his pain and torture, he was just dead.
That shut everything off. He was like, oh, that's the world. OK. Boop.
I just shut it off. So he was the only boy in the entire place that they could not even get a whimper out of. He would not make a sound. And the guards literally would have to end painting shop sessions with him because of their own exhaustion.
I was going to say they're not too tired. Like he would endure it. They would have to stop. My God.
His back must have been deformed for like a whole life. I'm sure. And so that George Mann, the warden there, decided that this was a challenge. And he was like, OK, I'll come up with a new device.
If this isn't working. Oh my God. What did he come up with? So this new thing he came up with was a mechanized paddling machine that apparently sounds crazy.
When you first hear it, you're like, whoa. But it didn't work as well as he wanted it to because it was just a mechanized paddle. So it was just administering the same amount of paddling in the turnover, where if it was somebody who's angry and getting pleasure out of this, they can give you a hard one and a soft one. And they can hit the same spot and hit a different spot.
You know, like, yeah. It gets way more sadistic with a human behind it. So this really wasn't doing anything. And they were all getting used to it.
So all the kids were getting used to this. And they were like, this one really isn't that bad. Like, it's not as bad as the other one. That's so sad.
The warden is not getting his jollies because he's not seeing these kids in as much torture. I don't like that you're saying jollies don't know how to use that. But now he's looking at it. Like Carl is the one that's emboldening these boys.
Oh, good. Suddenly rebel against this and acts like they don't care. This man. So now the warden is taking over Carl's punishment himself.
And he's doing it with no one else there. And he was beating and raping him on a regular basis. Now one night, the warden decided that he was going to eat with the rest of the guards because normally he didn't eat with the rest of the guards. It was like white for something.
But he was like, you know what? Let's boost the attitude and morale here. And I'm going to sit with him. And I'm going to be like one of the guys.
So Carl was like, cool. Made you something special, motherfucker. He put some rat poison in his rice pudding. Because he was like, no, I'm not just going to jack off into your food.
I want to kill you. Yeah. And this was the moment where he said this was the first time I wanted to murder a person. And I was ready to do it.
I mean, duh. So unfortunately, he got caught before the guy could eat it. I'm not. I'm like, I'm full fledged for this guy.
I was like, that's a bummer. So he got thrown off the kitchen duty, of course. And of course, he was severely punished. But I didn't eat cat rat poison.