Therapy Room to the Trading Room: Insights with Bill O'Herron (#042)

Bill O'Herron is a corporate executive, practicing therapist and writer who seeks to use his 33 years of financial sales management experience, 24 years of marriage, 15 years of counselling clients, and 8,500 hours of sitting quietly to help all his clients better understand, change and deepen their relationships.Bill’s research shows that relationships fail for one key reason: a lack of understanding of one’s own emotions and reaction patterns created in childhood.He teaches that all your relationships with others, especially your marriage, started in 4th grade, when your limbic-emotional body learned, absorbed, and inherited your parents’ lives and experiences.We are all therefore married to our own old, unconscious emotions more so than to our spouse.An underlying principle of his work is: Emotion is the key to and the driving force underlying every thought and action in human existenceHe celebrates in and humorously expounds on the belief that working on yourself, which will automatically improve the dynamics of all your relationships, is the most important thing in life, and that what we do right now in our relationship echoes down through posterity, changing who our grandchildren's children become.Topics Covered: Brain delineation when you hit your 30sSitting quietly he noticed all sorts of emotions he didn't know were thereHelping others know themselves better was 100% to Wall StreetOne question cold calling completely changed them to talkativeNobody really wants to just jump into the productGreat meetings from just building great relationships with the gatekeepersThe goal is to expire wide awake as Hindus sayThe art of asking questions, feels fluid not stiltedMeditating with tears in your eyesVulnerability, the only way to build relationshipsRelationships tend to dictate healthRemember the 2nd Law of ThermodynamicsWhere's the friction and the fire in our relationships?Lack of engagement isn't harmony, it's apathyRelationship is a verb, it never endsInsights from his wife throwing a plate at his headThings stored in our limbic brain start to pop up in our 30sMy book 'Waking Up Marriage' has nothing to do with marriageBe that one person revealing a little more about myself80% of your skills in business are EQ basedThe only way to increase EQ is to bring the right and left brain togetherMeditation is the physicalising of increasing EQ Your heart sends 5000 more signals to your brain than vice versaIf you understand your own crap, you're more likely to understand others' crapWhy aren't you working on the one thing you truly can controlCounterintuitive: You flood yourself with the very thing that's killing youDialogue between your 35 and 4th grader selvesYou bring the left brain adult perspective to the right brain child's anger"As a kid you pick up what your mom and dad feel"Jung: You can't change anything until you accept itBe present with those younger parts of youIgnore history, you're doomed to repeat it, true of personal history tooParticipate in your life as it was to expand nowPeople want to tell their story, so let themOddly more time alone, can lead to more effective conversationsListen to the intent behind what's being saidI'm being nice, not to be nice, but because I'm curiousIf you're interested in more visit ▶ https://almcbride.com/minicoursefor a free email minicourse on how to gain the psychological edge in your negotiations and critical conversations along with a helpful negotiation prep cheat sheet.If you enjoyed this episode of Dealing with Goliath Podcast, hit subscribe to hear about our latest episodes.