Things that have changed.

I’d recommend letting me read this one to you. May more change continue to come :) - Things that have changed I do not like pomegranates during winter. It is a pain to prepare and hurts my stomach. My clothes do not fit me in size, shape, or presence. I am changing I am changing I am changing. Look how many new clothes came after the great purge, now that I am unattached to my life’s comfort. In each tension lies a portal to the reveal. I am changing I am changing I am changing. Music cannot enchant me under the spell of any artist.I no longer deify gurus who are only broken clocks. I tell you in truth what I am and what I give. I am changing I am changing I am changing. And I have the references to prove it all, too.I don’t want to (need to) leave behind where I am.I don’t want to (need to) leave those who are with me. I am changing I am changing I am changing.I keep some words hidden and let other words free,and my body gets stronger with every morning,and burns even brighter, deeper into the night. I am changing I am changing I am changing.I am not and cannot be angry anymore. Anxiety is a guest and not an inmate.Even food I cannot eat holds a memory.I am changing I am changing I am changing. Sweet childhood has gone, and my tongue gone with it.Rolling my eyes at the sky and her messages.Raise my head to meet each pair of eyes that pass me. I am changing I am changing I am changing. Reach my hands to touch you as me and me as you.There is love here, unspoken but known beyond me. Watch my elders become my children, my siblings. I am changing I am changing I am changing. Money becomes a river I feign to drown in.Collecting my thoughts is now for scraps of paper,The process has no desired destination. I am changing I am changing I am changing. Desire’s game bores me when I know how to love.I have strayed very far from my acidic self.I drink cereal milk and smile at strangers. I am changing I am changing I am changing. I can live on the internet with self-control,visit and remember you are still an unknown. I am a writer, not wanting, trying to write. I am changing I am changing I am changing. Becoming someone who embraces what I am,Means I do not fear the cold; the embrace remains. I do not overthink my comfort or sadness. I am changing I am changing I am changing. My shell covers me during seasons of myself: falling out of love with the faces on my wallsand the digital mirrors echoing the past. I am changing I am changing I am changing. I miss my teenage self with everything in me.I listen to Sade and circle my hips wide.I do not need my data gift wrapped just for me. I am changing I am changing I am changing. Mouth craves less dopamine through easy consumption.I do not need the internet to feel seen.I love the art that the old parts of me held dear. I am changing I am changing I am changing. Have the time of my life in unlikely places.I sacrifice cool on the altar of freedom.What I was always going to be, I become.I am changing I am changing I am changing. The words I made sermon became spells turning me. I am changing I am changing I am changing. Something inside rushes through me, enlivens me. I am changing I am changing I am changing. - I love with something silly becomes something sincere. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit catharaxia.substack.com/subscribe