This energy is trying to get to know itself to see what it's capable of - it's capable of anything

this energy is trying to get to know itself to see what it's capable of it's capable of anything but I guess perhaps to see what it's capable of in the human form and in the book he also talks about natural growth versus working on growth or something along those lines which is what i mean by the original trajectory we can't help but grow but when we're working on growing we're actually contorting and distorting the natural growth process and on page 147 he says what would happen if you decided not to treat yourself as a thing to be improved and instead open to the possibility that it's your nature to continue learning growing and evolving and I feel that's true there's the we're born as learning and growing creatures I wonder about the nature of a mirage and how as we drive closer to the mirage the water disappears I'm just wondering to myself if so-called psychosis or even map consciousness is like a mirage in a way and it's almost like a mirage of death it feels like one's going to die yet as a process goes on one gets closer it doesn't happen like death doesn't happen so in that way the fear and the terror is sort of Mirage I'm wondering if that's like a mirage in consciousness I'm wondering if I could possibly have that context arise when something that tries to take over consciousness as terrifying might come into consciousness I like what he says on page 162 he talks about traditional approaches to coaching and training blah blah our application based learning teaching techniques skills methods and then encouraging people to apply them while these approaches can be useful for routine mechanical processes their effectiveness drops off sharply for complex cognitive and creative skill sets why because successful application depends on clarity and the quality of brains and he talks about implication based learning focusing on the foundational principles that drive high performance there is no separate implementation step as individual see the implications of these foundational principles implementation is automatic insightful understanding of the principles behind clarity literally removes contaminated thinking and allows you to see more clearly I think that's what I'm doing myself a bit is this implication based learning I see the implications of things and what's implicit and I'm always learning that way versus learning skills techniques methods from somebody else to superimpose in my consciousness to then act as a compass by which to act whereas if I'm always learning the learning itself is the acting even just learning right now by extrapolation by talking to myself I see the implications but then I also see the implications of this process of me talking to myself on a whole and I was even thinking about how before when I've been in so-called psychosis I've told a friend to videotape me because I feel like it'll sort of collapse the wave function into existence like that happened for real it wasn't my imagination and in a way I felt like that would make it so it doesn't need to be repeated because I process that it happened and here's the proof in the same way I feel like me doing this self dialogue is like that process but in Reverse like why not record all the healthy context that I'm wanting to unfold because in the video of psychosis I was unfolding the context of I'm a homeless person and this is the pain that homeless people feel and it's excruciating and I'm freezing cold and i just am stuck here and i can't even move I've gotten to the point where my reality tunnel has so collapse that I can't even move and this is sort of the opposite of that and to by having all these self dialogues of me supposedly well it's showing myself my wellness as opposed to talking about it in terms of problems and again it goes with that quote by that philosopher I'm not talking about this process of experienced as a problem I'm talking about it as a mystery and mysteries don't need solutions they just are to be explored and wonde