This Is What We Signed Up For

Send us Fan MailSeptember is busy—and sometimes the unexpected kid stuff just keeps coming. Between orthodontist appointments, physio, tryouts, sick days, social plans, broken instruments, and all the little things that pop up, it’s easy to feel frustrated and think, “Really? I have to deal with this too?”But what if we adjusted our expectations and remembered: this is part of what we signed up for?In this episode, I’m sharing the mindset shift that helped me stay calmer during a very chaotic week. I’m also talking about letting go of perfectionism—whether that means counting the imperfect exercise reps, recording a day late, clearing out one garbage bag of clutter, or showing up with temporary teeth that got hilariously stained by berries and seeds.Life is not always neat, organized, or perfect—but it can still be good, funny, and meaningful. Sometimes we just need to lower our expectations a little, stop making the inconvenience bigger in our minds, and give ourselves credit for doing what we can.TranscriptHey guys, how’s it going? How’s your September going? Is it super busy?It’s been really busy for us, but this is what we signed up for, right? That’s actually what I want to talk to you all about today—the mindset shift that helped me this week, and hopefully it will help you too.This week, just like every other week—but this week a lot more—I’ve had a lot of unexpected things happen. Not necessarily bad things, but kid-related things, requests, schedules, and things that I had to deal with unexpectedly. Things we didn’t plan for.While I was preparing to record this, I thought about a conversation I had with my friend. We went for a walk, and she was sharing some of the struggles she’s having at work.She has to work with someone in another department, and every time she has to communicate with that person, they seem surprised and unhappy about the request—even though it’s literally their job to accommodate the department my friend works with.They have to work together on all the events, schedules, calendars, and everything. My friend works in the planning department, and the marketing department is responsible for communicating all the events through emails, flyers, and other communications. So it’s my friend’s job to give marketing all the information about the events, when things should go out, and what needs to be included.Yet every time they communicate, this person seems displeased. Maybe the information came too late, or too early, or there wasn’t enough detail. They just seem unhappy, even though this is their job.We laughed about it and said, “Well, it’s their job to do that, but why are they so unhappy about it?”Obviously, there’s probably some kind of miscommunication or something going on in their head that we don’t know about. Maybe they want things done differently, or maybe there’s something missing from the picture.But from the outside, it looks like it’s their job, and yet they’re bothered every time they have to do it.Then I started sharing about all the things I’ve had to do unexpectedly with my kids. We realized that I was acting exactly like that marketing department.I was thinking, “Oh, really? Do I have to do that now? Couldn’t you have told me sooner? Really?”It’s kind of comical when you think about it, because it is literally my job to take care of my kids. I’m a stay-at-home mom with four children, and I chose to stay home to take care of my family.So when things come up—like an unexpected trip to the orthodontist because my son broke his bracket again—I have to make the phone call, schedule the appointment, drive there, and work it into the rest of our schedule.And this is probably the tenth time he’s broken that bracket.That same boy also got injured again, so I had to get him into physio. I had to make the calls, schedule the appointment, drive him there, and pick him up.Then two of my boys had tryouts for something, but we didn’t know the times until the very last minute.On top of that, I had a sick kid at home. Every day, I didn’t know whether he was going to school or staying home.And if you’re listening to this, you’re probably thinking, “Yes, that’s me. I understand.”We’ve all had sick kids at home. But because we’re hoping for some peace and quiet, we expect the best. Then when we don’t get the best, we have that little feeling of dread and disappointment.I also had to repair an instrument, and this was all in one week.Then there are the social requests. The kids want to hang out with their friends, and there are all the other things that come up.I realized that simply reminding myself, “This is part of my job,” gave me a little bit of a cushion. It helped me calm myself down and not overreact.I’m very easy to overreact and make things into a bigger deal than they need to be. But at the end of the day, this is my job.If I don’t have to do those things, that’s great. But if I do have to do them, I already signed up for this.That little shift in mindset helped me calm down. At the end of the day, it’s not a huge deal to make the phone call, drive somewhere, drop someone off, or wait.It’s more the way we think about it that makes it feel so bothersome. We think about it, and then we drive and do all these things, and the inconvenience just compounds.There’s a great quote from Modern Family that always makes me laugh. If you haven’t watched that show, we love it.The father says, “Everyone can experience life’s greatest moments if you just lower your expectations.”And I think that applies here too.When we lower our expectations, we can access more calm. We can stop feeling like a victim and instead feel like, “Hey, I’m in charge. This is okay.”Then we can see the beautiful moments in it too.The other thing I’ve been practicing is connected to the same idea: not going for perfect.I’ve been doing some core exercises at home, and I noticed that if I couldn’t do a movement perfectly, I didn’t want to count that repetition toward my goal of 30.I had to correct my thinking and say, “You know what? This does count, even if it isn’t perfect.”One side of my body is weaker and tighter, so the movement isn’t always going to look perfect. I had to decide that I’m going to count all of the imperfect repetitions because I’m still doing the exercise.That has been a big change for me—letting go of perfectionism and letting go of the fear that something doesn’t count if it isn’t done perfectly.I’m still getting closer to my goal of getting stronger. I’m still getting exercise in during the day. I’m making progress, and I don’t have to be afraid that it isn’t enough.So if that’s you, try counting the imperfect repetitions toward your goal.I know it’s easier said than done. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re trying to make something perfect until someone points it out, or until we realize we didn’t count a repetition because it wasn’t perfect.A lot of people don’t count exercise unless it’s an hour at the gym or an intense workout. But a walk is exercise. A bike ride with a friend is exercise.Count the things that aren’t perfect, but that still move you toward your goal.That’s helping me get stronger, and it’s also helping me not be upset that everything isn’t perfect.Hopefully these examples help you too.That’s what this whole journey is about for me. I’m just a stay-at-home mom sharing the things I’m struggling with and how I’m working through them.Hopefully it inspires you to approach your own problems in a similar way and keep solving them. Because solving problems gives you momentum to keep solving more problems, and that feels really, really good.And, by the way, I’m going to give you another example. I’m all over the place, but I think they’re all related because they’re all about solving problems.Get another garbage bag and go through your house. Collect things that can be donated, things that are broken, and things that are garbage.It’s going to feel so good. It’s going to feel productive, and it will get you moving in the direction of tackling the clutter wherever it is.It’s going to make your life easier. I promise you. It feels so good, and it is so worth it.Even if you only do five minutes a day, it’s worth it. It will clear out the clutter and make space for the life you’re already living.It will make it easier to organize your home and live in it. It’s really worth it.So that’s what I have for you today.By the way, I’m recording a day late because yesterday was crazy. But see? Not perfect.I just told myself, “It’s not a big deal if it isn’t on a Wednesday. Who cares?”Ideally, I’d like to release an episode every Wednesday, but today is Thursday. So what?But I’m having a good day. I played tennis with my friend, and she beat me today—but I beat her last time.Still, not perfect, but great.Oh my gosh, I have to tell you this funny story. This is definitely another great example of not being perfect.I’m getting some dental work done. I’m replacing the two veneers on my two front teeth. I’ve had them for 17 years, and it’s time to replace them.I went in yesterday and had the procedure done. It was a very long procedure, and I was so ready to leave by the end.They put in temporary teeth while the lab creates the permanent ones. I’m going back in a week to have the permanent ones put in.The temporary teeth don’t match the colour of my other teeth perfectly. They’re much lighter, so they already look terrible—like a little Halloween decoration.I had t Support the show