STOP FIGHTING WITH YOUR SON

Send us Fan MailSeptember is busy—and sometimes the unexpected kid stuff just keeps coming. Between orthodontist appointments, physio, tryouts, sick days, social plans, broken instruments, and all the little things that pop up, it’s easy to feel frustrated and think, “Really? I have to deal with this too?”But what if we adjusted our expectations and remembered: this is part of what we signed up for?In this episode, I’m sharing the mindset shift that helped me stay calmer during a very chaotic week. I’m also talking about letting go of perfectionism—whether that means counting the imperfect exercise reps, recording a day late, clearing out one garbage bag of clutter, or showing up with temporary teeth that got hilariously stained by berries and seeds.Life is not always neat, organized, or perfect—but it can still be good, funny, and meaningful. Sometimes we just need to lower our expectations a little, stop making the inconvenience bigger in our minds, and give ourselves credit for doing what we can.TranscriptHey guys, how’s it going? How’s your September going? Is it super busy?It’s been really busy for us, but this is what we signed up for, right? That’s actually what I want to talk to you all about today—the mindset shift that helped me this week, and hopefully it will help you too.This week, just like every other week—but this week a lot more—I’ve had a lot of unexpected things happen. Not necessarily bad things, but kid-related things, requests, schedules, and things that I had to deal with unexpectedly. Things we didn’t plan for.While I was preparing to record this, I thought about a conversation I had with my friend. We went for a walk, and she was sharing some of the struggles she’s having at work.She has to work with someone in another department, and every time she has to communicate with that person, they seem surprised and unhappy about the request—even though it’s literally their job to accommodate the department my friend works with.They have to work together on all the events, schedules, calendars, and everything. My friend works in the planning department, and the marketing department is responsible for communicating all the events through emails, flyers, and other communications. So it’s my friend’s job to give marketing all the information about the events, when things should go out, and what needs to be included.Yet every time they communicate, this person seems displeased. Maybe the information came too late, or too early, or there wasn’t enough detail. They just seem unhappy, even though this is their job.We laughed about it and said, “Well, it’s their job to do that, but why are they so unhappy about it?”Obviously, there’s probably some kind of miscommunication or something going on in their head that we don’t know about. Maybe they want things done differently, or maybe there’s something missing from the picture.But from the outside, it looks like it’s their job, and yet they’re bothered every time they have to do it.Then I started sharing about all the things I’ve had to do unexpectedly with my kids. We realized that I was acting exactly like that marketing department.I was thinking, “Oh, really? Do I have to do that now? Couldn’t you have told me sooner? Really?”It’s kind of comical when you think about it, because it is literally my job to take care of my kids. I’m a stay-at-home mom with four children, and I chose to stay home to take care of my family.So when things come up—like an unexpected trip to the orthodontist because my son broke his bracket again—I have to make the phone call, schedule the appointment, drive there, and work it into the rest of our schedule.And this is probably the tenth time he’s broken that bracket.That same boy also got injured again, so I had to get him into physio. I had to make the calls, schedule the appointment, drive him there, and pick him up.Then two of my boys had tryouts for something, but we didn’t know the times until the very last minute.On top of that, I had a sick kid at home. Every day, I didn’t know whether he was going to school or staying home.And if you’re listening to this, you’re probably thinking, “Yes, that’s me. I understand.”We’ve all had sick kids at home. But because we’re hoping for some peace and quiet, we expect the best. Then when we don’t get the best, we have that little feeling of dread and disappointment.I also had to repair an instrument, and this was all in one week.Then there are the social requests. The kids want to hang out with their friends, and there are all the other things that come up.I realized that simply reminding myself, “This is part of my job,” gave me a little bit of a cushion. It helped me calm myself down and not overreact.I’m very easy to overreact and make things into a bigger deal than they need to be. But at the end of the day, this is my job.If I don’t have to do those things, that’s great. But if I do have to do them, I already signed up for this.That little shift in mindset helped me calm down. At the end of the day, it’s not a huge deal to make the phone call, drive somewhere, drop someone off, or wait.It’s more the way we think about it that makes it feel so bothersome. We think about it, and then we drive and do all these things, and the inconvenience just compounds.There’s a great quote from Modern Family that always makes me laugh. If you haven’t watched that show, we love it.The father says, “Everyone can experience life’s greatest moments if you just lower your expectations.”And I think that applies here too.When we lower our expectations, we can access more calm. We can stop feeling like a victim and instead feel like, “Hey, I’m in charge. This is okay.”Then we can see the beautiful moments in it too.The other thing I’ve been practicing is connected to the same idea: not going for perfect.I’ve been doing some core exercises at home, and I noticed that if I couldn’t do a movement perfectly, I didn’t want to count that repetition toward my goal of 30.I had to correct my thinking and say, “You know what? This does count, even if it isn’t perfect.”One side of my body is weaker and tighter, so the movement isn’t always going to look perfect. I had to decide that I’m going to count all of the imperfect repetitions because I’m still doing the exercise.That has been a big change for me—letting go of perfectionism and letting go of the fear that something doesn’t count if it isn’t done perfectly.I’m still getting closer to my goal of getting stronger. I’m still getting exercise in during the day. I’m making progress, and I don’t have to be afraid that it isn’t enough.So if that’s you, try counting the imperfect repetitions toward your goal.I know it’s easier said than done. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re trying to make something perfect until someone points it out, or until we realize we didn’t count a repetition because it wasn’t perfect.A lot of people don’t count exercise unless it’s an hour at the gym or an intense workout. But a walk is exercise. A bike ride with a friend is exercise.Count the things that aren’t perfect, but that still move you toward your goal.That’s helping me get stronger, and it’s also helping me not be upset that everything isn’t perfect.Hopefully these examples help you too.That’s what this whole journey is about for me. I’m just a stay-at-home mom sharing the things I’m struggling with and how I’m working through them.Hopefully it inspires you to approach your own problems in a similar way and keep solving them. Because solving problems gives you momentum to keep solving more problems, and that feels really, really good.And, by the way, I’m going to give you another example. I’m all over the place, but I think they’re all related because they’re all about solving problems.Get another garbage bag and go through your house. Collect things that can be donated, things that are broken, and things that are garbage.It’s going to feel so good. It’s going to feel productive, and it will get you moving in the direction of tackling the clutter wherever it is.It’s going to make your life easier. I promise you. It feels so good, and it is so worth it.Even if you only do five minutes a day, it’s worth it. It will clear out the clutter and make space for the life you’re already living.It will make it easier to organize your home and live in it. It’s really worth it.So that’s what I have for you today.By the way, I’m recording a day late because yesterday was crazy. But see? Not perfect.I just told myself, “It’s not a big deal if it isn’t on a Wednesday. Who cares?”Ideally, I’d like to release an episode every Wednesday, but today is Thursday. So what?But I’m having a good day. I played tennis with my friend, and she beat me today—but I beat her last time.Still, not perfect, but great.Oh my gosh, I have to tell you this funny story. This is definitely another great example of not being perfect.I’m getting some dental work done. I’m replacing the two veneers on my two front teeth. I’ve had them for 17 years, and it’s time to replace them.I went in yesterday and had the procedure done. It was a very long procedure, and I was so ready to leave by the end.They put in temporary teeth while the lab creates the permanent ones. I’m going back in a week to have the permanent ones put in.The temporary teeth don’t match the colour of my other teeth perfectly. They’re much lighter, so they already look terrible—like a little Halloween decoration.I had t Support the show

Send us Fan MailDo It Backwards: A Gift to Your Future SelfIn this episode, I’m sharing a simple strategy that is already making my days feel lighter: do the things you’re dreading first. Instead of leaving the kitchen cleanup, preparing vegetables for the kids, Duolingo, exercise, or dinner prep until later, I’m trying to get them done as early as possible—before my brain has a chance to complain.I talk about how doing things ahead of time can feel like giving a gift to your future self, and how my husband’s meal-prep habits have inspired me to think differently about cooking for a big family. I also share an update about exploring hormone replacement therapy, what I’ve been learning about perimenopause, and why I’m more open to it now than I expected.Plus, I recap the end of our very busy summer: a beautiful hike in Canmore, sushi karaoke in Banff with my parents and kids, and a special visit from longtime friends. It was exhausting, joyful, and a reminder that staying connected to old friendships is absolutely worth the effort.So this week, try doing it backwards: pick the thing you’re most likely to put off and do it first. Your future self will thank you. Support the show

Send us Fan MailHey guys! How’s your summer going? Mine is winding down—today’s the last week before the kids head back to school, and honestly, I need a break. I scheduled a full “mama camp” staycation with all the boys, my nephew, and my parents in town. Right now, I’m sitting in the car while they’re at the trampoline park, and it already feels like Thursday even though it’s only Tuesday!The big takeaway I want to share with you today is this: read Die with Zero. I listened to the audiobook on YouTube, and it completely shifted how I think about money. Instead of feeling guilty every time I spend, it helped me see that money is meant to be used for experiences—especially when your family can enjoy them the most.With five boys (ages 10 to 15), my nephew, and my parents visiting, our family spending is at its peak right now. Sports, clothes, shoes, travel, education—it all adds up. But instead of feeling bad about it, I’m reminding myself that this is the season to invest in memories. Later, when the kids are grown and independent, we won’t need to spend the same way. So why hold back now?This book also challenged the idea of saving everything “for the kids.” If you’re planning to leave them money, why not give it when they actually need it—like for university or a mortgage—instead of waiting until they’re in their 60s and don’t need it as much?This week, I’m splurging a little more than usual: trampoline park, downhill karting, karaoke with sushi (first time ever!), escape rooms, Activate, and even a family rafting trip this summer. Yes, it’s a lot of money for six people, but I’m practicing gratitude instead of guilt. I’m blessed to be able to do these things, and I don’t want to be the person who saves everything and misses out on the memories.So here’s my challenge to you: if you can afford it, spend the money—but feel good about it. And if you can’t, then don’t. Either way, make the choice consciously. And if you’re struggling with the guilt of spending, check out Die with Zero. It’s been a game-changer for me.Alright, I’m off to see how the kids are doing at the trampoline park. Love you all—chat next week! Support the show

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Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I get real about where I’m at right now: 42, in the middle of summer chaos with four boys (including twins), and finally admitting that it doesn’t just take a village to raise kids—it takes a village to take care of *me*.After our recent vacation, I hit a low point. My back was flaring up, my mood was all over the place, and I realized I was surrounded by males all day and missing my girlfriends’ support. So I started rebuilding my “village”:- Seeing a naturopath for hormones and supplements  - Going to physio and doing core work for my lower back  - Looking into acupuncture  - Seriously considering hormone replacement therapy (HRT), even though I used to think it was “unnatural”I’ve always been very “let the body do its thing” and avoided meds unless absolutely necessary. But after months of feeling like the worst version of myself when I’m tired—snapping, raging over tiny things, feeling almost “crazy”—I decided my quality of life matters more than being perfectly natural. I’m still cautious and doing my research, but I’m open to HRT if it helps.A few big takeaways I land on in this episode:- Hormone decline can start up to 10 years before “menopause age,” and a lot of symptoms (mood swings, rage, anxiety, depression-like feelings) get misdiagnosed or ignored.  - My husband loves me, but he doesn’t know what to do with my symptoms. It’s on me to lead my own care and then invite him in.  - Taking care of myself takes effort: booking appointments, trying supplements, doing the exercises, saying no to the extra bread, asking for help.  - If what I’m doing isn’t fixing it, I need to go back for help—even if I “know what to do,” because consistency is the hard part.I end with a gentle nudge to anyone listening: if you’ve been debating booking that appointment, making that call, or trying that thing you keep putting off, this is your sign. Get that one more person into your village who helps *you* feel better, so you can show up better for everyone else. Support the show

Send us Fan MailHey everyone! In this episode, I’m sharing something that’s been really helpful for me as a mom: how to start appreciating yourself, especially when you’re not feeling appreciated by your partner. I talk about how practicing appreciation for what our husbands do can actually help us feel more appreciated too. I also share a simple exercise I used—writing down all the little things I did in a day that I didn’t even plan on doing—to help me see how much I really do for my family. Plus, I get real about the challenges of parenting teenagers, juggling summer schedules, and learning to coach myself through the tough moments. If you’ve ever felt like your hard work goes unnoticed, this one’s for you. Support the show

Send us Fan MailI have triggers that caused me to be afraid of my kids future, and I always look for a way to comfort those fears and to replace those fears with something else that I have to look forward to in my life and for my kids future and in this episode, I share with you how you could ask the universe to help you solve these problems and comfort those triggers and hopefully this is helpful to you with your fears and triggers  Support the show

Send us Fan MailPlease Borrow the strict that I have for dealing with teenagers. It really helps me feel satisfied and happy and calm with my parenting and makes me feel good about the future of my kids. I really do believe this trick works and I think you should listen to this episode and copy it for yourself. Support the show

Send us Fan MailThis episode is basically a mom pep talk for that weird, emotional in-between stage when your kids are still around, but suddenly they don’t need you the same way anymore. The speaker talks about that sneaky mix of sadness, confusion, and “wait… what do I do with myself now?” that can show up as kids get older and life starts shifting.[Attachment]The big message is: don’t rush past the feelings. Name them, let yourself feel them, talk them out, and stop pretending you can just skip straight to the fun new chapter without grieving the old one first.[Attachment]She also leans into the idea that this is a transition, not a one-and-done moment, so it may keep popping up in waves. Her advice is to keep your routines, stay connected to people, try new things, and practice becoming the version of yourself that exists beyond constant kid-management mode.[Attachment]It’s honest, a little funny, and very real — basically: yes, your kids are growing up, and yes, that can be sad, but you’re not broken, you’re just in the middle of a big parenting shift.[Attachment] Support the show

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Send us Fan MailYou had a career or maybe you haven’t then you had some kids and stayed home with them and now you’re wondering what to do next this episode is for you. The secret is just try something over and over and over again until you learn. Do a pilot of whatever thing you want to try and then decide if you want to do it or not do it but before you’ve tried it, you can’t decide if you want to do it or not. Do it just go try it.  Support the show

Send us Fan MailCommon questions about fasting Most common questions•What is intermittent fasting?•What is the best fasting schedule, like 16:8 or 5:2?•Can it help with weight loss?•What am I allowed to drink during the fasting window?•Will it hurt energy, focus, or workouts?•Is it safe for everyone?•Does it matter what I eat when I do eat?•How long does it take to see results?•Can I do it every day?•What are the side effects or risks?What people worry about most:  A lot of the concern is about whether fasting is actually healthy, whether the benefits last, and whether it is just another calorie-cutting strategy in disguise. Mayo Clinic notes that some short-term improvements have been seen in blood sugar, weight, cholesterol, blood pressure, and inflammation, but long-term effects are still unclear. MedlinePlus also highlights that what and how much you eat still matter, not just the timing Support the show

Send us Fan MailMy knee is hurting so I am using Louise Hays work to really heal my knee.   Support the show

Send us Fan MailI wish I knew these three things before I started intermittent fasting so that I could actually sustain it for a lifestyle and make it adjust to my life and make it more fun.  Support the show

Send us Fan Mail“ I am so bored, there’s nothing there for me ,nobody needs me. I’ve lost the point. What’s the point?”Feeling sad, giving up depressed, eating to feel better, welcome to this episode. Support the show

Send us Fan MailThis made my life better and it can help you as well. From scarcity to abundance to making my teenagers life better my twins, life better and my own life better also another epic dinner fail.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIf you’re lower back hurts or you feel worse after workouts, then try this out. This helped me a lot. I found Mommy Mango on YouTube and it has helped me get rid of back pain and be able to ski and bike without my back seizing up after. Highly recommended her channel if you have diastasis recti, back pain.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIf you want to hear a few of my recent mistakes and listen  to this episode, I share some of my Great, not so great decisions and how I did not think for myself and some things that I had shame about hopefully this is helpful to you and you have a good laugh. Enjoy.Support the show

Send us Fan MailI am so jealous but I don’t want this! Then why am I jealous! This is so confusing. Listen to how I figured it out♥️Support the show

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Send us Fan MailHere’s my update on my intermittent fasting journey over the last year. I share my struggles and my things that I’ve learned from fasting for a year. I am really excited to see what I find out next about my insulin levels. I’m gonna update you on my insulin resistance journey, stay tuned and keep on fasting.Support the show

Send us Fan MailThis is hilarious. I   match, but my brain did not register it at all. It actually said that we lost and then  with my day until I caught myself in that lie and busted my brain and laughed about it so listen to this episode about this example  other examples of how my loser mind said completely overrode the reality of my life. Support the show

Send us Fan MailThis strike was so effective at getting me to go work out that one  I  share with you guys. I also share about all the things I learned from Gretchen Ruben she is awesome. She talks about four different personality types, rebel and obliger a questionnaire and a upholder go check her out on YouTube  super useful informationSupport the show

Send us Fan MailI want to encourage all of us to be a little more selective and conscious with our people, pleasing their families with their kids and her husbands.  I   example where I instantly decided to change my whole plan  whole meal just to people please someone who was upset until I stopped and  what if it’s OK that he doesn’t like this and he’s upset what if I could just be OK with him not liking this and it worked Support the show

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Send us Fan MailI share my journey with alcohol, drinking it and not drinking it and the life I have now without if for 7 years. I share what it was like growing up in Russia and in a family that doesn’t drink, what it was like I Canada as a teenager and then my ‘drinking’ career lol in Canada in my 20s and then into motherhood and really not liking being that mom who wanted wine with dinner every night. At 36 I realized I don’t ever have to drink and that I love this new me, new identity of someone who just chooses to never drink ! And never looked back, the best decision I have ever made! Up there with marrying my husband and deciding to have lots of kids !  Support the show

Send us Fan MailIf you don’t miss your son this episode is for you. Are you a bad mom? Don’t you love your son?  Support the show

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Send us Fan MailHow can you enjoy going to a party and eat once a day? let's talk. Support the show

Send us Fan MailCasual update on my journey as i drive to pick up my kids from school.  Sharing in order to encourage you to keep going, keep tweaking your fast to find what works for you. This is also a video on youtube.  Support the show

Send us Fan MailI have insulin resistance and I have been fasting for two months and I have experimented with eating carbs for two months and now I am moving on to lower carbs to eliminate insulin resistance. Join me in this journey of getting healthy and trying one thing at a time trial and error. Support the show

Send us Fan MailLouise, he changed my life thanks to her. I feel safe I feel like I’m good enough and I can really trust people and I can really trust myself. Listen to this episode to find out exactly how she changed my life and my favourite thoughts that I adopted from her.I think that the universe brings me only good. It is safe to be me only good lies before me I love an approval myself. It’s OK that this happened. I love an approve of myself.You can check out her book heal your life here. This is the book that I have and I love and this will help you heal the child inside of you. Support the show

Send us Fan MailHere are three things that will help you start fasting today. These things will help it make easy for you enjoyable, and you can feel healthy and lose weight by intermittent fasting.I learned these three things from Jackie and Jen Stevens and I wanted to share them with you. These are proving things that will make your fasting. Super Duper easy.  Support the show

Send us Fan MailAre you avoiding visiting your sister just because you don’t want to be a burden to her well listen to this episode to to help you change how you look at it.Just like with anything, we can either change how we’re thinking about it or we can keep the way we’re thinking about it, but we can make it means something else. Listen to this episode to see how I coach this client on visiting her sister and how I apply it to my intermittent fasting and hunger. Support the show

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Send us Fan MailI was afraid to get my son a phone. I did not want to lose him. Don’t be scared if that’s you. It’s not so bad. Listen to this episode to find out exactly what happened after I got him a phone and what I had to go through to get myself to adjust. Support the show

Send us Fan MailThis episode for you is for you if you really really can’t stand your neighbor.Is there someone who you just can’t stand right now? Well listen here to hear my favourite story from Ajahn Brahm and his awesome book "Don’t worry be grumpy." Check out his book. I love love love his book. Listen to what happened to me after I read the story to my twins and what happened with my friend. This will help you get along with the person who’s driving you crazy. Support the show

Send us Fan MailI had a friend tell me that she feels like she’s getting dementia because she can’t remember anything is that you? Are you forgetting all the things you have to do during the day?Do you have a bunch of Post-it notes in your car, in your purse and a calendar at home? let’s talk about this. Let’s organize better together.Here's my inspiration from Brooke Castillo and her Monday Hour One program. Support the show

Send us Fan MailAre you feeling bad you don’t like something?Are you feeling bad that you said no to someone or are you apologizing for something hat’s just true about you?Well, listen to this episode to work through it together with me as I share all the things that I am accepting about myself and no longer apologizing for be unapologetically yourself. Support the show

Send us Fan MailWhat if you’re jealous of your kid?Is it normal to be jealous of your kid? What do you do? Do you judge yourself? Do you move on? Do you pretend you’re not jealous? Listen to this episode to work through that with me together Support the show

Send us Fan MailAre you struggling finding an answer to a problem either to you your health problems or relationships or work well I was struggling with finding an idea for a trip and this is what happened to listen to the episode to really see how this can help you with your problem.Sometimes, we can only discover what we truly want by first exploring and rejecting the wrong options, as the process of trial and error helps clarify our desires-whether it’s choosing a trip destination, a job, or any important decision. So, instead of getting discouraged when things don’t feel right, embrace each step as part of the journey toward finding the right answer, and don’t give up even if it takes time. Support the show

Send us Fan MailAre you having trouble starting to work out like I did?Well listen to this episode to find out how exactly I started working out regularly and other cool things I did with this new habit stacking and I learned from James clear who wrote Atomic Habits check out his book here. Support the show

Send us Fan MailI used to think that I can’t do fasting because it is so strict.Now I love it because it is so flexible I eat whatever I want whenever I want it and I also fast at least 18 hours a day. Listen here to find out exactly how flexible it can be.You can learn more about how flexible it is on Jackie's podcast here. Support the show

Send us Fan MailAre you surprised you are worried late at night? Are you surprised your kid pissed you off again by not eating his food?Are you totally surprised by whatever reaction you’re having to the same thing that happened last week? If that’s the case listen to this episode because you will definitely have one of these packages and I believe it is our job to get to know our little packages so that we’re no longer surprised Support the show