Cerebral Palsy, Abuse, and Fighting Back (Win Charles)

A gentle note before you dive in: this conversation touches on abuse of a vulnerable adult. It's okay to pause, skip ahead, or come back to this one another time. My guest today was born 13 weeks early, one pound thirteen ounces, so small the local hospital in Aspen didn't know what to do with her. Doctors of that era told parents of kids born with cerebral palsy to institutionalize them and expect nothing. Win Charles' mother said no way, no how. That refusal is the first fight in a life full of them: Win went on to compete in the Kona Ironman Triathlon, run her own jewelry design company, and write a memoir about growing up with CP. But the fight I most want you to hear about today happened much more recently, in the raw grief right after her father's death in 2019, when a family member she trusted crossed a line so far it triggered a mandatory report and a full Adult Protective Services investigation. Win's own background is in early childhood education, which made her a mandatory reporter herself, and she credits that training with helping her recognize what was happening to her and get herself somewhere safe. She walks me through what it's like to give a formal witness statement as a crime victim, the custody battle her extended family launched that October, a judge shutting it down, and the work she's doing now, in Codependents Anonymous, to unlearn the habits abuse and a lifetime of needing others' help had built into her. If you've ever wondered how to trust your gut when something feels wrong with how a family member or caregiver is treating someone vulnerable, or you're a disabled or chronically ill adult navigating your own caregiving relationships, this conversation is a hard, important listen. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FP4UjQCEH-Q In this episode Born 13 weeks early at one pound thirteen ounces with cerebral palsy, and how her mother refused doctors' advice to institutionalize her How grief after her father's 2019 death opened the door to abuse from extended family, and the Adult Protective Services case that followed Why her own background as a mandatory reporter helped her recognize what was happening to her and get to safety What it's like to give a formal "professional interview" as a crime victim, and how the case ended with a judge denying her family custody How Win channeled decades of trauma into a Kona Ironman Triathlon finish, a jewelry design company, and a memoir Why she's now in Codependents Anonymous, unlearning the "control freak" habits she once blamed entirely on her cerebral palsy Timestamps (00:05) Welcome and guest intro: meet Win Charles, cerebral palsy memoirist and Ironman triathlete (00:50) Born 13 weeks early at one pound thirteen ounces, and the mother who refused to institutionalize her (04:19) Her mother's sudden decline from an undiagnosed brain aneurysm (07:15) Losing her mother after a month in a medically induced coma (09:12) Losing her father in 2019, and the nine days she spent caring for him herself before he passed (19:41) The incident with extended family that escalated into abuse (21:10) Why her background as a mandatory reporter mattered in that moment (31:50) Giving a formal "professional interview" to Adult Protective Services (36:46) The October 2019 custody battle, and the judge's ruling (37:44) Feeling safe now, and the move to Phoenix, Arizona (38:14) Codependents Anonymous, and unlearning "control freak" habits (39:43) Where to find Win and her podcast, "CEO of a Disability" About Win Charles Win Charles was born with cerebral palsy and has gone on to compete in the Kona Ironman Triathlon, run her own jewelry design company, and write a memoir about her life with CP. She now hosts the podcast "CEO of a Disability" and works as a motivational speaker. Find her podcast and more at ceodisability.buzzsprout.com. Favorite quotes "My mom said, no way, no how." —Win Charles, on her mother refusing doctors' advice to institutionalize her "If you see something suspicious with a family member... dig deep, dig deep, because it happens all the time." —Win Charles "I'm now breaking the stigma of my family." —Win Charles Resources mentioned Win Charles's memoir, available via this link CEO of a Disability: Win's podcast Codependents Anonymous (CoDA), the support group Win credits with helping her unlearn codependent patterns Related episodes Victory Over Quadruple Amputation: Interview with Wendy Wallace: another guest turning a life-altering physical challenge into a story of triumph From Toxic Family to Triumph: Interview With Susan Gold: more on surviving abuse from the people who are supposed to protect you Surviving Toxic Relationships: Interview with Shannon Petrovich: recognizing and getting out of relationships that cross the line Subscribe & connect If this episode gave you something to sit with, follow Phoenix and Flame so you never miss an episode: all apps in one place, or jump straight to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube. And if it moved you, leave a review; it's the easiest way to help another listener find the show. Learn more about Phoenix and Flame, connect with Dana, and listen to more episodes here. Curious where your own boundaries stand? Take my free Work Boundaries Quiz: danaskaggs.com/quiz