Chris Jackson: Surviving a Narcissistic Parent

Seven levels of energy, and conflict keeps you standing on the first two. That is the framework Chris Jackson uses with clients, and the reason this episode is worth an hour if you are worried about what a high-conflict parent is doing to your kids.Chris Jackson is a professional coach and the owner of Kinetic Life, and before that he played professional football for ten years in Germany. He grew up in the tri-state area as the oldest of three, with a father whose behavior he spent decades trying to understand and a mother who held the family together financially while working as a nurse. He works with what he calls heart-centered high performers, helping them find their voice and leave their mark, and he brings what Lisa calls radical empathy to it. He is also a husband and a father of three, with children spanning twenty-four years to twenty months.Lisa invited him on because he is the outcome her clients are afraid they will not get. He describes when he put a label on his father's behavior, in his thirties, and argues that you do not need a clinical diagnosis to name a pattern for your own sanity. He talks about disordered thinking, about the fear he believes sits under the entitlement and the pride, and about the moment he stopped trying to reason with someone who was not reasoning back.The section Chris and Lisa both flag as the one people need is about anger. Their clients keep saying the same thing: I am the safe parent, so why is my child screaming at me? Chris Jackson answers it from the inside. He explains the difference between checking in with the introverted kid who has decided not to make your life harder and the extroverted one who is showing you everything, and he tells the story of the day, watching television with his siblings, that he lost respect for his mother and never told her. He then walks the full ladder, level one through seven, with what winning and losing mean at each stage, the three pillars he builds a new life around, and a working list of what is in your control and what never was.As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.🎓 What you'll learnWhat it took to see a parent's behavior for what it was, decades after childhoodWhy naming a pattern can start forgiveness, without claiming a clinical diagnosisWhy your kids need permission to be angry at you, the parent who stayedHow to check in with an introverted child who has decided not to add to your loadThe Ladder of Liberation: seven levels, and where high conflict pins youWhat winning and losing look like at each level, and why level three is the first exitAristotle's test for anger, and why it is too much to expect from a childA working checklist of what is in your control while your case drags on⏱️ Chapters 0:00 Intro 1:00 Meet Coach Chris Jackson 3:00 Growing up with a father whose behavior never added up 5:00 Putting a label on it, and why that started forgiveness 9:00 Disordered thinking, the fear underneath, and your own control 13:00 Why kids get angry at the safe parent 15:00 The day he lost respect for his mother 19:00 Aristotle on anger, and leading your kids through theirs 25:00 The Ladder of Liberation, level one through seven 41:00 Deep intimacy, joy in the journey, significant mission 45:00 What's in your control, and what never wasKeep going 💜 Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call 📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X 📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183About Been There Got Out Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.