Unrequited Sex- ramble before surgery

Discovered this and seems to fit current stories. Why body and heart experience dissonance, I can't relax with men that can't have sex with their hearts. Suppressing energy takes energy which is why I can feel drained. Finding a sexological body worker to help with my trauma to give me the space to explore good sex may be good enough. My senses are intense in my world and sex for me is almost like the first time everytime. I may not find an equal that can hold space for my sexual intensity rather be okay with good sex in front of me.