Victim Mentality

Victim-hood and the blame game. -      Not too many people think or express that they are the victim. -      Not weakness, just our brain justifying our behavior -      Indicators of victim mentality. -      Blame o  If my spouse would just meet my needs better o  If I just hadn’t looked at porn that first time o  If my church leaders would just help me more o  The house clean on ramsey – o  If only the circumstance was different o  Ask yourself, do I blame anyone else for things that I don’t like about myself or my behavior? -      Defensiveness o  Byron Katie talks about defensiveness as the first act of war o  That person doesn’t know my situation o  My life is different. o  No one else can understand what I’m going through o  No matter what I do it’s never good enough o  Zach driving o  This is a place of defending your actions even though you might want to change but think you don’t know how o  Ask yourself, is there someone in my life that is causing my pain? o   -      Complaining o  I just can’t catch a break o  Also, just plain negativity, o  this is never going to work, nothing I do works o  You feel sorry for yourself and feel trapped. o  You know this person in your life, they are constantly looking to engage in a conversation that is negative.. o  Building a business has really challenged me in this area o  I just have to ignore those thoughts and move forward with my best plans. o  Ask yourself, do I complain    , do I excuse my behavior, are my thoughts and words negative? o   -      Key indication is that the stories that you tell involve “someone did something to me” “it happened to me” -      “I was reading the news and the site showed an article that made me want to click further and that took me down the rabbit hole” – it just happened to me -      Be careful about your words – look for a victim and villain