Vol279.日常英语学习The Truth About the Divorce

获取全部文本资料公众号搜索：yymaster888Hey son, are you ready now? It's my weekend with you and I was really looking forward to it. I thought we could go for a walk, maybe get some food or just sit somewhere and talk. We don't have to do anything special. I just want to spend time with you and enjoy the day.No, I'm not ready. I don't want to go out today. I just want to stay here.What? You don't want to go out? That's strange. You usually like going out, even if it's just for a short walk. Did something happen? Are you feeling sick or tired or is something bothering you?I'm not sick. I'm just not in the mood. That's all. And honestly, I don't really want to spend the day pretending everything is okay.Pretending? What do you mean by that? I'm not asking you to pretend anything. I just want to have a good weekend with my son. That's all.That's the problem. You always say that, but it never feels real. It feels like you want everything to be fine without talking about what's actually wrong.I don't understand why you are so upset. If something's wrong, you can tell me. I'm your father. I'm here to listen to you. You can trust me.You say you listen, but when I talk, you get defensive or you get angry or you change the subject. So, what's the point?All right, I hear you. Maybe I didn't listen well before, but right now I'm asking you, please tell me what's going on inside your head.I don't know where to start. There are so many things that I keep inside. And every time I see you, they come back. It's not easy for me to talk about them.We don't have to rush. We are not going anywhere today. Take your time.Okay, let's see if that's true. Then I'll ask you something. Something I've wanted to ask you for a long time, but I was scared to do it. Why did you and mom really divorce? I don't want a short answer. I want the truth.That's a difficult question. Your mother and I had many problems and things were not working anymore. She was unhappy, always complaining. And no matter what I did, it was never enough for her.So, you're saying it was her fault, that she was the problem.I'm saying that she changed. She became distant, cold, and angry. I tried to keep the family together, but she pushed me away.That's not how I remember it. I remember both of you arguing. I remember silence at dinner. I remember you coming home late and not talking to anyone.I was there too, you know. Yes, I know you were there, son. But you were just a kid. You didn't understand everything that was happening between adults.Maybe I didn't understand everything. But I saw enough. I saw mom crying in the kitchen when she thought no one was looking. I saw you ignoring her when she tried to talk to you.That wasn't only her fault.Son. I was tired. I was stressed. I was working all the time to provide for this family. Nobody ever talks about that.I know. I know you worked hard. I'm not saying you didn't. But working hard doesn't mean you can disappear emotionally. Mom needed you and I needed you, too.That's the truth. I didn't know how to show it. I thought bringing money home was enough. That's how I was raised. My father never talked about feelings either.I understand. But mom told you many times that she felt alone. She asked you to go to therapy. She asked you to talk more. You didn't want to listen. You never wanted to listen.Son... I thought therapy was a waste of time. I thought we could fix things by ourselves.You always said mom was exaggerating, that she was dramatic. But from my side, it looked like she was desperate.I was wrong about that. But son, I didn't want to. I just— Your mom always—Stop blaming my mom. You were also part of that problem. Dad, I think it's time you take responsibility for your actions, right?Well, I suppose yeah, you're right. I see that now. At that time, I was too proud. I didn't want to admit that I was part of the problem. It was easier to blame her than to look at myself.You also shouted a lot. You think I don't remember, but I do. Even when you didn't shout at me, I felt scared. You must know that.I know. I know that. And that's something I regret deeply. I was angry—very angry at life, at work, at myself. And I took it out on the people I loved the most. That was unfair.After the divorce, you always told me that mom broke the family, that she destroyed everything. But I felt like I was losing both of you, not just her.I was hard and I was bitter. I wanted someone to blame. I didn't realize that I was hurting you by saying those things.I felt like I had to choose sides. When I was with mom, I felt guilty for loving you. I mean, when I was with you, I felt guilty for loving her. That's not something a child should feel. Am I right?Yes, son. You are right. I failed you there. I should have protected you from our problems instead of pulling you into them.