We Didn't Fail School. School Failed Us: What the System Got Wrong About Neurodivergent Kids

If you grew up neurodivergent in a school that had no idea what to do with you, this episode is going to hit you right in the feelings. I'm sitting down with Rebecca Engle, AuDHD dyslexia specialist, special education teacher, and owner of Stitches and Stanzas, an advocacy and creativity company that somehow combines knitting and screaming about the school system, which is the most neurodivergent business model I've ever heard of. We're both AuDHD, we were both identified early, and we both spent years in a system that had very strong opinions about our brains and was wrong about most of them. We get into what ableism in special education actually looks like when it's not dramatic, just normalized. IEPs written for classroom management instead of learning, behavior charts standing in for actual support, and schools consistently misreading a nervous system in overload as a behavior problem. We dig into dyslexia specifically because it gets lost in the neurodivergence conversation and it shouldn't, what happens cognitively when dyslexia, ADHD, and autism show up in the same kid, school refusal, learned helplessness, screen time, and the pipeline from second grade dropout risk to the prison system. We close on Rebecca's experience being denied entry into a teacher training program for being autistic, and why she only takes jobs at low-income schools. Regulation before rigor. That's the whole thing. Rebecca's resources, including trauma-informed classroom tools and co-regulation models, are available through Stitches and Stanzas on Instagram and Facebook. If you're looking for therapy in New York, find me at alyssazimmerman.com. 00:00 Meet Rebecca Engle: AuDHD Dyslexia Specialist and Special Education Advocate 08:21 What Ableism in Special Education Actually Looks Like 13:00 Ableism is Just Annoyance in Disguise 17:12 What Schools Get Wrong About Dyslexia and Learning Differences 22:02 When Dyslexia, ADHD, and Autism Show Up in the Same Kid 26:26 School Refusal, Learned Helplessness, and the Cost of Compliance Culture 29:21 Screen Time, Reading Struggles, and Neurodivergent Kids 32:24 Why IEPs Fail Neurodivergent Students and What Actually Works 38:48 From Student with an IEP to Special Education Teacher 42:08 Ableism in Teacher Training Programs 47:49 What Every Educator Needs to Know About Neurodivergent Students