well I don't see my story as a mental illness story

I'm feeling a lot of you stressed right now there's some stuff going on potentially good but I just feel really you stressful reporting from the bridge reporting from planet zipped on apparently this is my 100th video to myself in self dialogue and I got this selfie stick with a mic in the mail and I ordered it off of indy gogo perhaps a year ago go I'm not sure if it was worth it the initial design is different than what they were able to produce as the final model but whatever I'm noticing that it's getting heavy to hold already not very strong I hold it more like a hockey stick it's a little bit better so maybe I'll try this thing I'm not sure if I'm sold on having this thing in front of my face don't really like these things near my face yesterday I was talking about the movie healing voices and I don't remember how far I got but this will be my 100th video since June twentieth which is nearly six months of making videos to myself and I did mention that when I was trying to delete some of the videos from my phone I accidentally did watch just a little bit of a few of them and I noticed my voice sounds different and I also noticed i remember early on i would say so a lot more and also basically and then after I did that deleting of the videos the next video i made i noticed i said basically quite a few times so it's interesting how watching that just briefly sort of put me back in that space from time long forgotten and so I wonder if it would actually be worth watching them ever again or not because I do watch them once when I edit out the gaps in my thinking or looking at my laptop but other than that I don't know how useful it is because if I actually watch it it's almost like my consciousness goes back to that but maybe I will but I don't think I will until the year mark except for making sure i'm deleting the right videos off my phone in the movie they give another good term they give the term other sensory experiences and i like that term to describe altered states of consciousness because altered states of consciousness sounds a bit more abstract than having other sensory experiences because sensory are of the body whereas consciousness people might think well what's that what does that really mean altered states of consciousness and maybe other sensory experiences a part of altered states of consciousness and I wonder if other sensory experiences as well as altered states of consciousness are all those other experiences that can't be accounted for in terms of the ego recognition and measurement it's other than our programming and conditioning there was one person in the documentary and his mom talked about just being a witness just being there I see you I don't understand it but let's go with it and I thought that was pretty well put because I've talked about before and probably recently about the importance of witnessing and this process of self dialogue as witnessing myself taking responsibility for witnessing myself because I realized that people who can listen are in short supply and also people that might have the context within themselves to be able to to listen and witness what I have to share there could be a lot of them out there but some are in hiding and maybe they're dispersed geographically and there was a scene where another person in the movie was saying I just can't stand them saying mental illness mental illness mental illness and it was a brief scene but it really resonated with me because I don't like hearing that either and that's the trouble a lot of times is working or sharing within that paradigm it's like well here's someone share their mental illness story well I don't see my story as a mental illness story but it's shared within that context so it's it feels incongruent it's almost like hearing nails on a chalkboard and in her speech in that scene in the video she said people labeled with mental health and substance use problems and that's how I see it too with people labeled lived exper