We’re Not Perfect: Colorism, White Adjacency & Mental Health in South Asian Families

“Look at the Indians, look at what they’re doing…”We’ve all heard some version of this — South Asians framed as the “model minority”: wealthy, high-achieving, and problem-free. But behind the stereotype is a much more complicated reality that deeply affects mental health, identity, and belonging.In this powerful conversation, Dr. Payal Beri sits down with Dr. Shanta, a psychologist and social impact advocate, to unpack the layers underneath South Asian “success”:The pressure to be perfectThe silence around abuse, depression, and substance useColorism, dating rules, and “no Black, no [insert your own group]”White adjacency, colonization, and why so many of us chase proximity to whiteness for safetyThey also explore the often-erased stories of Caribbean, African, and working-class South Asians — cab drivers, domestic workers, families living paycheck to paycheck — and how leaving them out of the narrative deepens shame, classism, and disconnection inside our own community.If you’ve ever felt like you don’t fit the “perfect South Asian family” image, or you’ve struggled to hold your pride in your culture alongside pain, secrecy, or intergenerational trauma — this episode is for you.🔍 In This Episode, We Talk About:What the model minority myth really is and how it harms all communitiesHow South Asian “success” is built on selective visibility and class privilegeDenial around domestic violence, substance use, and mental health in desi familiesColorism, dating rules, and why “no Black / no [X]” shows up in our homesHow colonization created a deep craving for white adjacency and external validationThe erased histories of Caribbean, African, and working-class South AsiansThe illusion of safety in whiteness and the cost of chasing itWhat real solidarity, self-reflection, and collective liberation could look likeThis conversation centers South Asians, but the questions apply to every community:How do we talk honestly about our wounds, privilege, and internalized bias — without losing love for our people?Connect with Dr. Shanta:Instagram: @snk_therapyWebsite: snktherapy.comConnect with Dr. Payal Beri & Reframing Perspectives:Instagram – Dr. Payal: https://www.instagram.com/dr.payalberiSubscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@payalberi?sub_confirmation=1LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/payalberiSpeaking & Media: https://www.drpayalberi.com