what actually causes an eating disorder? | recovered-ish with chloe cox

One of the most common questions I get — from clients, from my own lived experience, from people who have spent years wondering — is this: why me? Why did I get an eating disorder when the people around me didn't?In this episode I'm getting into the real answer. Not the oversimplified version. The actual, nuanced, deeply personal answer — using my own story, my clinical experience, and the framework I use with clients in my group program The Quasi-Recovery Exit to help people understand themselves in a way that actually moves the needle in recovery.This one is a thinker. I hope it gives you some real clarity.This Episode Is Brought to You By Cozy EarthCozy Earth makes the softest, most comfortable pajamas and bedding I’ve foung — and comfort in my body is something I don't compromise on anymore. Visit CozyEarth.com and use code RECOVERY for up to 20% off.In This Episode:Why I grew up with two sisters, in the same family, doing the same activities — and I'm the only one who got an eating disorderThe genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger framework — and what it actually means for understanding your own storyThe specific temperament traits I was born with that made me vulnerable to an eating disorderHow my performing arts high school became the environmental trigger that intensified those traitsWhy understanding what caused your eating disorder is actually one of the most powerful things you can do in recoveryThe identity conversation — how the traits your eating disorder co-opted are actually your greatest strengthsWhy you won't lose yourself when you recover — you'll finally find yourselfHow narrative therapy helps you make meaning of your story without shameWhat to do with the traits you don't want to give up in recoveryA reframe for the question "what's wrong with me?" — and what to ask insteadTimestamps:0:00 Intro + new desk setup 2:00 Life update — pregnancy announcement followup, son's hospital stay, Disneyland plans 4:00 A note on binge urges and what they're actually telling you 6:00 Today's topic: what actually causes an eating disorder? 7:00 Growing up with two sisters — same family, same upbringing, only I got an eating disorder 10:00 Genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger 12:00 The temperament traits I was born with — drive, perfectionism, sensory sensitivity 16:00 Early signs of genetic predisposition — body awareness from a very young age 18:00 How performing arts high school became the environmental trigger 22:00 Competition, comparison, and the perfect storm that created my eating disorder 24:00 How to understand your own story through this lens 26:00 The identity conversation — temperament vs conditioning 28:00 Your eating disorder traits are actually your superpowers 30:00 Narrative therapy and making meaning of your story 32:00 What to ask yourself instead of "what's wrong with me?" 35:00 How to channel your traits toward recovery and growth 37:00 Closing thoughtsPractical Reflection Questions From This Episode:What traits do I have that might have made me vulnerable to an eating disorder?What life circumstances intensified those traits or made the eating disorder necessary?What do I actually like about those traits — and do I want to keep them in recovery?Where do those traits show up in my life in ways that aren't harmful?Can I look back through my story with curiosity instead of criticism?Quotes from This Episode:"You don't have to become a different person to recover from your eating disorder. You just have to become who you've always been without the eating disorder casting a shadow over it.""Every trait that made you good at your eating disorder can make you amazResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube!