recovered-ish with chloe cox

Episode DescriptionThis is a replay of one of the most-listened-to episodes of recovered-ish. I'm taking the week off to prep for maternity leave, so no new episode this week — but this one is worth revisiting, especially if you're new here.One of the most common questions I get — from clients, from Instagram, from people deep in the trenches of recovery — is this: does the eating disorder voice ever actually go away?In this episode, I get honest about my own experience with the ED voice: what it sounded like at its worst, how it shifted through different stages of recovery, and where it lives now (spoiler: it's a lot more like an intrusive thought about tap dancing in a grocery store than a voice running my life).This isn't a tidy yes-or-no answer, because recovery isn't tidy. But it is a real one — and one I don't think the internet talks about honestly enough.In This Episode:What the eating disorder voice actually is — and why it feels like a separate voice in your headEgo syntonic vs. ego dystonic thinking, and why that shift matters in recoveryMy personal experience with the ED voice from its loudest point to where it lives nowWhy the voice often gets louder when you start recoveringThe beach ball analogy — why trying to "shut up" the ED voice backfiresWhat actually moves the needle: building your own voice, not silencing theirsWhy "if I can't fully recover, why even try?" is one of the most dangerous traps in recoveryPractical tools for when the voice feels all-consumingTimestamps:0:44 Intro & life update 3:22 Episode topic intro: the eating disorder voice question 7:19 What is the "eating disorder voice"? 10:56 Who asks this & why 13:39 My personal experience: the voice at its worst 14:38 Do I still have disordered thoughts? My honest answer 20:42 How I got to where I am today 28:06 The beach ball metaphor: giving the voice less space 32:24 My answer: yes and no 36:54 Practical tips if the voice is all-consuming 40:03 OutroPractical Tools Mentioned:Name it: label thoughts as "eating disorder thoughts" without immediately fighting themHear it, don't obey it: acknowledge the ED voice and give yourself permission to have a different opinionIdentify the feeling underneath: fear, panic, sadness — and ask what you need that isn't a behaviorThe "noise" technique: when all else fails, say it out loud — noise, noise, noiseResources + Connect with Me:Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/Instagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: eating disorder voice, does the ED voice go away, eating disorder recovery, quasi-recovery, ED voice recovery, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, recovery tools, ego syntonic, ego dystonicResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionYou sent in your questions and I'm answering them — honestly.  This is part one of a two-part listener Q&A covering some of the most common and most loaded questions I get about eating disorder recovery.We're getting into ambivalence, finding your why, the "not sick enough" myth, comparison, extreme hunger, lost hunger cues, and how to sit with the panic that comes from increasing intake.In This Episode:"I want to want recovery but I don't" — what to do with thatWhy you don't need a strong why to start recoveryWill it ever feel like the right time to choose recovery?Am I sick enough? Does hospitalization determine validity?Is this recovery or just restricting in better packaging?Comparison in eating disorders — why it's never a fair fightWhy it's not about the food but eating the food is still so hardHow to order at a restaurant when calories are on the menuDoes extreme hunger really exist — or is it an excuse to binge?What to do when you've lost your hunger cues entirelyHow to sit with the panic that comes from increasing intakeTimestamps:0:00 Intro — YouTube subscriber goal 2:00 Today's episode — listener Q&A part one 3:00 Ambivalence — wanting to want recovery 6:00 The stages of change and where you might be 7:00 Finding your why — what if you don't have one? 10:00 Calculated risk — why you can't wait to feel ready 12:00 Will it ever feel like the right time? 13:00 How to actually commit to recovery 14:00 Am I sick enough? Does hospitalization determine validity? 17:00 High-functioning and still severely struggling 19:00 Is this recovery or restricting in better packaging? 21:00 Needing the disorder to feel special 23:00 Comparison in eating disorders 26:00 Why it's not about the food — but eating the food is still hard 28:00 Ordering at restaurants with calories on the menu 30:00 Does extreme hunger really exist? 36:00 Lost your hunger cues — the friend analogy 39:00 Sitting with panic after increasing intake 42:00 Closing thoughts — part two next weekResources + Connect with Me:Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ code: PODCAST for $57 offInstagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@recoverwithchloeKeywords/Tags: not sick enough eating disorder, extreme hunger recovery, finding your why in ED recovery, eating disorder Q&A, am I sick enough, comparison eating disorder, hunger cues eating disorder, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcastResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionIf you've been doing all the things — therapy, dietician, meal plan — and still feel like you're spinning your wheels, this episode is for you.In this episode I'm sharing a practical, honest list of things to try when eating disorder recovery feels stuck. These are the gaps I've seen in standard treatment models, the things that have made the biggest difference for my clients and for me, and the approaches that might breathe some new life into your recovery if you're hitting a wall.In This Episode:Why recovering towards something — not just away from the ED — changes everythingEMDR therapy and trauma — and why addressing the root might be the missing pieceWhen to consider changing or adding to your treatment teamGetting assessed for neurodivergence, OCPD, or OCD — and why it mattersThe "acting as if" technique — and why fake it till you make it actually worksAuditing the information faucets in your life — what's helping and what's feeding the disorderReducing decision fatigue around food — and why surrendering control is actually strengthTimestamps:0:00 Intro — burnout, pregnancy fatigue, and why I almost quit 5:00 Today's topic — what to try when recovery feels stuck 7:00 Recover towards something — adding non-recovery goals 11:00 EMDR therapy and complex trauma in eating disorders 17:00 When to change or add to your treatment team 21:00 Coaching as an addition to therapy 23:00 Getting assessed — neurodivergence, OCPD, OCD 28:00 The "acting as if" technique 31:00 Auditing your information faucets 34:00 Reducing decision fatigue — surrendering control is strength 38:00 Closing thoughts + availability for EMDR and coachingResources + Connect with Me:Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/One-on-one coaching intensives — 2 spots left before maternity leave: https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/recover-with-chloe-coaching-applicationEMDR therapy in California — reach out: https://www.socalwellnessgroup.co/contactInstagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: stuck in eating disorder recovery, ED recovery plateau, EMDR eating disorders, eating disorder treatment options, neurodivergence and eating disorders, OCPD eating disorder, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcastResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionNobody talks about this part. But it's real, it's common, and it doesn't mean you're doing recovery wrong.In this episode I'm getting into what it actually means when you miss your eating disorder — why it happens, why it makes complete sense, and what to do with that feeling when it shows up.In This Episode:Why missing your eating disorder doesn't mean you want to go backWhat the eating disorder actually gave you — and why that's worth acknowledgingThe grief nobody warns you about in recoveryWhy recovery can feel worse than the disorder at certain stagesRomanticizing the sick body — why it happens and how to protect yourselfThe two-list journal exercise for holding a balanced perspectiveWhy grieving the eating disorder is actually a sign of recovery workingWhat you're actually missing — and how to find it elsewhereTimestamps:0:00 Intro 2:00 Today's topic — missing your eating disorder 3:00 Why this feeling is so confusing and so common 5:00 What the eating disorder actually gave you 10:00 When recovery feels worse than the disorder 13:00 If you're in that space — keep going 15:00 How this is showing up for me in this pregnancy 18:00 Romanticizing the sick body 22:00 What you're actually missing 25:00 Practical steps 27:00 The two-list journal exercise 28:00 Letting yourself grieve it 31:00 Recovering towards something 33:00 Closing thoughtsThe Two-List Exercise:List 1: everything you miss about the eating disorder.List 2: everything it took from you.Try to make the second list longer. If you can't — bring it to therapy.Resources + Connect with Me:Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/Instagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: missing your eating disorder, ED recovery grief, eating disorder recovery emotions, romanticizing eating disorder, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, grief in recoveryResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionThis is the episode I've been asked for since the beginning of this podcast — and the one I never thought I'd actually record.Dating in eating disorder recovery is complicated in ways nobody really talks about. The body image stuff. The intimacy stuff. The validation-seeking that can look a lot like the disorder wearing a different mask. And eventually finding someone who makes you feel like a whole person.In this episode I'm sharing all of it — including things I've never told the internet before.In This Episode:Why the eating disorder became my "new boyfriend" after a breakupThe validation loop I fell into when I first started dating in recoveryWhat it felt like to show up in a recovered body — body checking, disconnection during intimacy, comparisonHow I finally flipped the script on datingHow I met my husband — including the text I sent trying to end it after date twoHow and when to tell someone about your eating disorder historyWhat to do when a partner's food behaviors are triggeringThe self-inquiry practice that helps when body image comes up in intimacyTimestamps:0:00 Intro 4:00 Today's topic — dating and intimacy in ED recovery 5:00 My high school relationship and self-worth 8:00 The breakup that contributed to my ED escalating 10:00 What dating looked like when I was deep in my disorder 14:00 The validation loop of dating apps 17:00 How that loop mirrored the eating disorder 19:00 What it felt like to date in a recovered body 23:00 Realigning to values in dating 27:00 How I met my husband 29:00 Telling someone about your ED history 33:00 When a partner's food behaviors are triggering 36:00 What my husband did differently 41:00 Self-inquiry for body image in intimacy 44:00 Closing thoughtsResources + Connect with Me:Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/Instagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: dating in eating disorder recovery, intimacy and eating disorders, body image and dating, ED recovery relationships, telling a partner about eating disorder, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcastResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionThis one was unplanned. My son was in the hospital, life threw a curveball, and I had twenty minutes between sessions to record something real.So that's what this is.In this episode I'm sharing something I've never talked about on the podcast before — and getting honest about what life after recovery actually looks like. Not the highlight reel. The real version, where hard things still happen and you have to figure out how to keep showing up anyway.This is a shorter one, but I think it might be one of the most honest episodes I've recorded.In This Episode:What I never expected about life after eating disorder recoverySomething personal I've never shared on the podcast beforeHow recovery showed up for me during one of the hardest seasons of my lifeWhy recovery doesn't mean life stops being hard — it just means you have something real to hold onto when it isWhat it actually looks like to choose yourself when everything is falling apartHow to hold two completely opposite feelings at once — and why that's actually the skillWhat recovery gives you that the eating disorder only promisedTimestamps:0:00 Intro — a mini episode, recorded between sessions 2:00 Why this episode looks different this week 3:00 Something I've never shared on the podcast before 6:00 I thought the eating disorder was my big life battle. I was wrong. 8:00 How recovery showed up when life got really hard 12:00 What I did in the hospital cafeteria — and why it mattered 15:00 Recovery doesn't mean life stops being hard 17:00 What recovery actually gives you — control, safety, presence 19:00 How to hold hope and hardship at the same time 22:00 Closing thoughts — sending love to everyone doing this alongside hard thingsQuotes from This Episode:"Recovery doesn't mean everything in life is solved. It just means you are able to take care of yourself through it — and not compound the suffering that's just gonna be there because we're humans.""The eating disorder promises you control and peace and safety. Recovery actually puts you back in the driver's seat for all of those things.""There's gonna be hard times and there's gonna be good times. That's what it means to be a person."Resources + Connect with Me:Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/Instagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: life after eating disorder recovery, what recovery actually looks like, eating disorder recovery and hard times, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, holding hope in recovery, recovery and life challengesResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionIf you've ever thought "I can't do this anymore" or "I just want my life to stop being about recovery" — this episode is for you.In this episode I'm breaking down the difference between recovery burnout and actually outgrowing your eating disorder, because they can feel almost identical from the inside — and they require completely different responses.One is a sign that recovery is working. The other is a sign you need something different. Knowing which one you're in changes everything.In This Episode:Recovery burnout vs outgrowing your ED — and why they feel so similarSigns you're in recovery burnout — hopelessness, resentment, progress feeling too slowSigns you're actually ready to outgrow the eating disorderThe one question that tells you which phase you're inWhy burnout doesn't mean recovery isn't workingHow to push through without quitting or doubling down harderWhy diversifying your life is one of the best recovery toolsWhen to talk to your team before making any decisionsTimestamps:0:00 Intro 3:00 Today's topic — recovery burnout 6:00 Recovery burnout vs outgrowing your ED 13:00 Signs you're in recovery burnout 18:00 What burnout is really asking for 19:00 Signs you're ready to outgrow the eating disorder 23:00 The donut story 26:00 The one question to ask yourself 28:00 What to do when you're in burnout 34:00 Recovery doesn't have to be your whole identity 36:00 Talk to your team before you quit 39:00 Closing thoughtsResources + Connect with Me:Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/Instagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: recovery burnout, treatment fatigue eating disorder, done with eating disorder recovery, ED recovery burnout, outgrowing eating disorder, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcastResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionYou sent in your questions and I'm answering them — honestly, not clinically. This is the real-life picture, not the textbook one.In this episode I'm getting into some of the most common and most loaded questions I receive from people in eating disorder recovery — from whether to look at the scale in treatment, to what to say when someone comments on your weight, to how to stop feeling like you're faking it because you actually ate today.In This Episode:Should you look at the scale during treatment? My honest takeHow to respond when someone comments on your weight — practically and emotionallyHow to support a partner with an eating disorderThe earning mindset — what it is and how to break the loopThe hardest thing I had to change in recovery — and it wasn't the foodHow to grieve what the eating disorder took from youFeeling like an imposter because you ate — why your disorder is still realHow to handle friendships built around wellness cultureAdvice for someone one week into inpatient treatmentTimestamps:0:00 Intro 3:00 Listener Q&A begins 5:00 Q1: Should you look at the scale during treatment? 15:00 Q2: How do you respond to weight comments? 21:00 Q3: How do I support my girlfriend with an eating disorder? 25:00 Q4: How do you get out of the earning mindset? 30:00 Q5: What was the hardest change in your ED recovery? 32:00 Q6: How do you grieve what the eating disorder took? 36:00 Q7: I feel like an imposter because I eat — am I faking it? 39:00 Q8: Food disagreements with my husband 40:00 Q9: Handling wellness-focused friendships in recovery 44:00 Q10: Advice for adjusting to inpatient 46:00 Closing thoughtsResources + Connect with Me:Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/Instagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: eating disorder recovery Q&A, should you look at the scale in recovery, how to respond to weight comments, earning mindset eating disorder, ED recovery imposter syndrome, eating disorder grief, inpatient treatment advice, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcastResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionIt feels strange to say, but it's true: my eating disorder taught me things that have actually added to my life. Not the behaviors. Not the rules. But real, paradoxical lessons that I've carried with me into recovery and into the rest of my life.In this episode I'm sharing a casual list of the unexpected things I learned through my eating disorder — about my body, about planning, about self-compassion, about the power of my own brain. These lessons go way beyond food and body. They're really about being human.In This Episode:Why my body sends me signals long before my mind catches up — and how I use that nowThe hard lesson that planning doesn't always work — and what that shattered for meWhy I had to learn that I'm allowed to change my mindWhy you can't outsmart your emotions — and what happens when you tryHow powerful the brain really is — and how that power can work for you instead of against youWhy self-criticism took me far but was never going to sustain meThe shift from self-hate to self-compassion — and why one crushes you while the other carries youWhy the lessons underneath an eating disorder are rarely about food and body at allTimestamps:0:00 Intro — summer stress and a note for anyone struggling right now 4:00 Why this podcast is also personal reflection time for me 6:00 Today's topic — unexpected things my eating disorder taught me 6:30 Lesson 1: my body knows something is wrong before my mind does 12:00 How hypersensitivity became a tool instead of a problem 13:00 Lesson 2: planning does not always work 18:00 Cognitive dissonance and why the eating disorder became my way of avoiding a hard truth 19:00 Lesson 3: I am allowed to change my mind 23:00 Lesson 4: you can't outsmart your emotions 27:00 Why feelings are signals, not problems to solve 28:00 Lesson 5: how powerful the brain really is 31:00 Using that same mental power for something supportive 32:00 Lesson 6: self-criticism took me far, but it was never going to sustain me 35:00 The self-compassion research that changed how I think about motivation 38:00 Why these lessons go beyond food and body 39:00 Closing thoughtsThe Lessons, At a Glance:Your body often knows before your mind does — pay attention to the signalsPlanning gives you a sense of control, but it can't account for everythingYou're allowed to change your mind, and that's not failureYou can't think your way out of feeling something — emotions need to move through youYour brain is incredibly powerful, and that power can be redirected toward something supportiveSelf-criticism can fuel you for a while, but self-compassion is what actually sustains youQuotes from This Episode:"There came a point where I realized I'm never going to get what this eating disorder is promising me. I need to find a different way to pursue my goals that doesn't require harming myself in the process.""Feelings aren't meant to be fixed. They're not problems to be solved. They're signals.""What used to feel like losing control — changing my mind, choosing a different course — now feels like actual control, autonomy, and freedom."A Note:If summer or anything in this episode is bringing something up for you, please know you're not alone in that, and support is available. In the US, the Crisis Text Line is reachable by texting HOME to 741741. If you're outside the US, a quick search for "eating disorder helpline" plus your country will point you to local specialized support.Resources + Connect with Me:Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/Instagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: what eating disorders teach you, eating disorder recovery lessons, self-compassion eating disorder, planning and control eating disorder, eating disorder and emotions, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, body awareness recovery, self-criticism vs self-compassion, eating disorder reflectionResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionI used to think pregnancy would give me a break from my eating disorder. That the permission to gain weight, to nourish my baby, would make it all feel easy. That's not quite how it went.In this episode I'm getting honest about what body changes in pregnancy actually feel like when you have an eating disorder history — the first trimester appetite chaos, the body dysmorphia on high alert, the awkward in-between phase where nothing fits, and the pressure to be the perfect pregnant person that nobody warned me about.This one is for anyone navigating pregnancy, postpartum, or body changes of any kind in ED recovery. The lessons here go way beyond pregnancy.In This Episode:Why I thought pregnancy would cure my eating disorder — and what actually happenedFirst trimester appetite chaos — and what it stirred up mentallyWhy pregnancy triggers body dysmorphia like almost nothing elseThe awkward in-between phase where nothing fits — and the sensory challenge that comes with itThe myth of the perfect pregnant person — and how perfectionism fills the void when the ED quietsWhy relapse rates are highest during pregnancy and postpartumWhat it looks like to practice body neutrality during pregnancyThe mantras I use when I don't love what I see in the mirrorWhy other people's opinions about your body say more about you than themHow pregnancy has deepened my body trust — and what that means beyond pregnancyWhat I want my daughter to know about her body from day oneTimestamps:0:00 Intro + summer updates 2:00 Recovery Skills Training summer workshops 3:00 Today's topic — pregnancy, body changes, and ED recovery 5:00 A note for anyone whose fertility has been impacted by an eating disorder 8:00 Why these lessons apply beyond pregnancy 9:00 I thought pregnancy would fix my ED — here's what happened instead 11:00 First trimester appetite chaos and what it stirred up mentally 13:00 Food aversions, cravings, and eating consistently in recovery 15:00 Why pregnancy triggers body dysmorphia so intensely 17:00 The awkward in-between phase — when nothing fits but you're not showing yet 18:00 Body changes are supposed to happen — even when they're hard 20:00 The myth of the perfect pregnant person 22:00 Relapse rates in pregnancy and postpartum — why this is so common 24:00 Body changes nobody warned me about — the honest list 27:00 Being curious about body changes instead of critical 29:00 What are other people thinking about my body? — reframing that question 31:00 Taking your power back — shifting from external to internal 33:00 How pregnancy deepens body attunement 35:00 Listening to your body across all three trimesters 37:00 Mantras for hard body image days 40:00 What I want my daughter to know about her body 42:00 Body trust isn't about loving your body — it's about believing it knows what it's doing 43:00 Closing thoughtsMantras From This Episode:I am uncomfortable, and I can handle that.I don't like my body right now, and I can trust this process.I'm unhappy with these changes, and my happiness can be sourced elsewhere.Quotes from This Episode:"I thought pregnancy was going to be a vacation from my eating disorder. What ended up replacing it was the pressure to be the perfect pregnant person.""Body trust is not about loving your body. It's just about believing that it knows what it's doing and allowing that to lead.""If I believe that's true about my daughter — that her body has nothing to do with who she is — I've got to believe that's true about me.""One of the highest rates of relapse happens during pregnancy and postpartum. You're so not alone, and you're likely not doing anything wrong."Resources + Connect with Me:Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops — use code PODCAST57 for $57 off: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/Instagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: pregnancy and eating disorder recovery, body changes in ED recovery, eating disorder and pregnancy, body dysmorphia pregnancy, postpartum eating disorder relapse, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, body trust pregnancy, body neutrality pregnancy, quasi-recovery, pregnancy body image, eating disorder relapse postpartumResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionTravel is one of the hardest things you can do in eating disorder recovery. New foods, broken routines, different meal times, swimsuits, pictures — it's a lot. And nobody really talks about how to actually get through it.In this episode I'm sharing my honest survival guide for traveling in ED recovery — from what it looked like when I was deep in my disorder on a family trip to Hawaii, to what it looked like this past month traveling to New York and Maryland fully recovered. The difference is everything.Whether you're in early recovery, somewhere in the messy middle, or further along and still noticing the eating disorder show up on trips — this one's for you.In This Episode:Why travel is one of the biggest pressure cookers for an eating disorderThe Hawaii trip that showed me how much my eating disorder was already stealing from my lifeWhy nothing reveals an eating disorder faster than being pulled from your routineHow to handle the airport, time zones, and meal timing on travel daysWhat my travel day actually looks like now — 11 years into recoveryThe "eating disorder is not invited" mindset trick — and how to use itHow to find safe foods and guardrails for early recovery travelWhen to use travel as a recovery challenge — and how to approach it strategicallyBody image on vacation — swimsuits, less clothing, and how to prepareWhy your body is not going to change as much as your eating disorder says it willHow to flip the script from body-focused to experience-focusedTimestamps:0:00 Intro + business updates 2:00 Recovery Skills Training summer workshops announcement 3:00 Quasi-Recovery Exit group program update 4:00 Today's topic — travel in ED recovery 7:00 Why travel is so hard when you have an eating disorder 8:00 The Hawaii trip — what early disordered eating on vacation looked like 13:00 Missing ice cream with my family — how the ED steals moments 15:00 Why nothing reveals an eating disorder faster than leaving your routine 17:00 How uncertainty triggers the eating disorder nervous system 18:00 The airport — where travel anxiety starts 19:00 Time zones, meal timing, and the meal plan confusion 20:00 What my travel day actually looks like now 24:00 How to navigate travel days in early recovery 26:00 The "eating disorder is not invited" mindset trick 29:00 Preparation is everything — practical tips for packing and planning 31:00 Safe foods, guardrails, and when to challenge yourself 33:00 Using travel as a strategic recovery challenge 35:00 Finding a model person to eat alongside 36:00 Body image on vacation — swimsuits and less clothing 38:00 How to find a swimsuit that feels tolerable 40:00 Avoiding the mirror and packing for sensory comfort 41:00 Your body is not going to change as much as your ED says 43:00 Flipping the script — experience first, body last 45:00 Closing thoughts + summer workshop promoPractical Tips From This Episode:Talk to your dietician before you go — walk through your itinerary and plan meal timing togetherStay on your home body clock on travel days until you adjustPack familiar snacks so you always have a safe option availableUse the "eating disorder is not invited" reframe — mentally leave it behind before you boardFind a model person with a healthy relationship with food and follow their leadPractice wearing your swimsuit at home before the trip as a small exposurePack clothes that feel comfortable and don't draw sensory attention to your bodyAvoid the mirror as much as possible on vacationSchedule a therapy session before you leave and when you returnUse difficult moments on the trip as information to bring back to recovery — not as evidence you failedQuotes from This Episode:"Nothing reveals an eating disorder quicker than when a person is plucked from their routine.""Eating disorder, you are not invited. You will be staying home. I'll attend to you when I return.""Your body is not checking the time. Your body just knows — I need nourishment and I need it consistently.""The eating disorder makes your world so small. Travel is a reminder that the world is so much bigger than your eating disorder."Resources + Connect with Me:Recovery Skills Training + Summer Workshops: use code PODCAST57 for $57 off — https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/The Quasi-Recovery Exit — applications open: https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-applicationInstagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: travel in ED recovery, eating disorder and vacation, summer travel eating disorder recovery, how to travel with an eating disorder, eating disorder routine disruption, vacation body image, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, quasi-recovery, food freedom travel, eating disorder summer, airport eating disorder recoveryResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

One of the biggest blocks in fully recovering from an eating disorder isn't the food. It's identity.In this episode I'm getting into something I've been circling around for a while but never done a full deep dive into — the way an eating disorder becomes a mask, a persona, a way of being seen in the world. And why letting go of it can feel terrifying even when you desperately want to.This one gets personal. We're going all the way back to a backwards baseball cap, through the eating disorder, and into what it's actually looked like for me to find out who I am without all of it.In This Episode:Why identity is one of the biggest blocks in full recoveryThe baseball cap story — and what it taught me about protection, power, and being seenWhat my ED behaviors were actually communicating to the worldWhy changing in recovery feels so exposing even when you want toThe labels we try on after the eating disorder — and why they don't fill the voidWhat it's looked like to find my identity at 31The "I am a person who" assignment — and how to use it yourselfWhat becomes possible when you stop trying to be who you think you should beTimestamps:0:00 Intro 1:00 Life update 3:00 Today's topic: identity and eating disorder recovery 6:00 The backwards baseball cap — my first identity story 10:00 What the hat was really about 13:00 When I outgrew the persona but felt trapped in it 15:00 How this connects to the eating disorder 17:00 What my ED behaviors communicated to the world 20:00 Power, safety, and why we reach for external identity 22:00 The mask the eating disorder becomes 24:00 Why changing feels so exposing in recovery 28:00 The identity void recovery leaves 30:00 What I've discovered about myself since turning 30 32:00 The "I am a person who" assignment 35:00 Identity neutrality 37:00 What becomes possible when the ED stops taking up space 39:00 Closing thoughtsResources:Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/The Quasi-Recovery Exit (apply before summer session!): https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-applicationInstagram: @recoverwithchloe5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: eating disorder identity, letting go of eating disorder, eating disorder recovery identity, who am I without my eating disorder, eating disorder persona, identity in ED recovery, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, quasi-recovery, identity and eating disorders, eating disorder masks, self-discovery recoveryResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionShort answer: yes. Long answer: it's complicated, it takes time, and it definitely doesn't happen the way most people think it does.In this episode I'm getting into my own journey from restriction, to meal plan, to eventually finding something that actually feels like food freedom — and what every stage of that actually looked like. Including the messy middle, the slips, and the moments I started to actually trust my body again.Inspired by a comment questioning why I still eat six times a day at 11 years into recovery. Spoiler: it's not because I'm still on a meal plan.In This Episode:Why I don't recommend jumping straight into intuitive eating at the start of recoveryMy first experience with a dietician — and why my eating disorder hated her immediatelyThe role of exposure therapy in rebuilding a relationship with foodHow fear foods actually lose their power over timeThe messy middle between meal plan and intuitive eatingWhy I still eat six times a day — and what that actually meansHow pregnancy deepened my ability to trust my body's cuesWhat food freedom actually looks and feels likeTimestamps:0:00 Intro — back from New York City 2:00 What returning to NYC recovered felt like 5:00 Today's topic: does intuitive eating work in ED recovery? 6:00 Why I don't recommend starting with intuitive eating in early recovery 9:00 My first experience with a dietician 12:00 What finally made me surrender control to someone else 17:00 The role of exposure therapy in rebuilding a relationship with food 23:00 How to expand your zone of safety if treatment isn't accessible 26:00 The messy middle — when the meal plan starts to loosen 33:00 Why I still eat six times a day 36:00 How slips and relapses fit into this process 38:00 When life becomes bigger than food 41:00 How pregnancy deepened my body trust 46:00 Closing thoughts and resourcesResources:📚 Books:Intuitive EatingEating in the Light of the Moon📲 ED-Informed Dieticians to Follow:@michellepillepichnutrition@thehungryclementine@[email protected] Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/The Quasi-Recovery Exit: https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-applicationInstagram: @recoverwithchloe5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: intuitive eating eating disorder recovery, does intuitive eating work, meal plan to intuitive eating, food freedom eating disorder, rebuilding trust with food, eating disorder recovery food, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, fear foods, exposure therapy eating disorder, quasi-recovery, intuitive eating after restriction, body trust recoveryResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

You asked, I answered.I get so many DMs and comments with really good recovery questions that deserve more than a quick reply — so this week I'm doing a rapid fire Q&A covering some of the most common and most important ones I've received.We're getting into comparison, quasi-recovery, fear of weight gain, social eating, family dynamics, book recommendations, and more. This one is packed with honest, practical answers — no fluff, no sugarcoating.In This Episode:How to get out of a comparative mindset — and why comparison is never a fair fightHow long quasi-recovery can last — and what finally takes you out of itAm I worried about raising a daughter as someone in ED recovery? Honest answerWhat to do when fear of weight gain feels completely all-consumingMy top reason to choose recovery every day — and how that's changed over 11 yearsHow to deal with family members that just don't get itHow to cope with social eating — vacations, outings, datesBook recommendations for eating disorder recovery and self-helpHow to answer "how can I help?" from the people who love youAn update on the second cohort of The Quasi-Recovery ExitTimestamps:0:00 Intro + life update — new house, birthday, busy May 2:00 Quasi-Recovery Exit second cohort announcement 6:00 Today's episode: rapid fire recovery Q&A 7:00 Q1: How to get out of a comparative mindset 11:00 Why comparison is never a fair fight 12:00 Q2: How to maximize your time in residential treatment 15:00 Total transparency, surrender, and getting messy 16:00 Q3: Am I worried about raising a daughter? 20:00 What I'm doing to prepare and why it fuels my recovery 22:00 Q4: How long can quasi-recovery last — and what takes you out of it? 25:00 Q5: What do you do when fear of weight gain is all-consuming? 28:00 Why the only thing that worked was facing it head-on 29:00 Q6: What is my top reason to choose recovery every day? 31:00 How my reasons have changed over 11 years 32:00 Q7: How do you deal with unhelpful family comments? 35:00 When to educate and when to let it go 36:00 Q8: How do you cope with social eating — vacations, outings, dates? 39:00 Q9: Book recommendations 42:00 Q10: How to answer "how can I help?" from family 45:00 Closing thoughtsBooks Mentioned:Eating disorder recovery:Eating in the Light of the Moon – Anita JohnstonThe Eight Keys to Recovering from an Eating Disorder — Carolyn CostinLife Without Ed — Jenni SchaeferGoodbye Ed, Hello Me — Jenni SchaeferIntuitive Eating – Elyse Resch and Evelyn TriboleSelf-help:The Power of Now — Eckhart TolleA New Earth — Eckhart TolleThe Four Agreements — Don Miguel RuizThe Gifts of Imperfection — Brené BrownNo Bad Parts — Richard SchwartzGeneral reads:The Secret History — Donna TarttThe Catcher in the Rye — J.D. SalingerFame Sick — Lena DunhamQuotes from This Episode:"Comparing yourself to anyone is unfair. No matter how much you think you know about that person, you will never know as much about that person as you know about yourself.""Good enough isn't as good as it gets.""Your reason to choose recovery doesn't have to make sense to anyone but you.""The eating disorder is not invited on vacation."Resources + Connect with Me:The Quasi-Recovery Exit — applications open for June cohort: https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-applicationRecovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/Instagram: @recoverwithchloeLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: eating disorder recovery Q&A, fear of weight gain, quasi-recovery, social eating and eating disorders, eating disorder comparison, how to help someone with an eating disorder, eating disorder book recommendations, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, recovery questions answered, eating disorder family support, dating and eating disordersResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Back by popular demand — we're back in the journals.In this episode I'm reading more entries from my eating disorder treatment diaries. These are unfiltered, verbatim entries from residential, PHP, and IOP — the rawest, most honest documentation of what recovery actually looked like from the inside.This one goes to some dark places. There are entries about missing the disorder, about feeling like recovery wasn't worth it, about a muffin that sent me into a complete spiral. But there are also entries about light bulbs going off, about laughing again, about finding hope in the smallest moments. And it ends with the Eater's Agreement — a manifesto I wrote at the end of treatment that still holds up more than ten years later.If the first journal episode resonated with you, this one goes even deeper.In This Episode:Why I started doing these journal episodes — and why the response to part one floored meWhat residential treatment actually looked like for me — and why I want to acknowledge the privilege of having access to that level of careThe emotional shutdown I experienced at the start of treatment — and when it finally broke openThe life map entry — sharing my story in group for the first time and finally cryingThe identity crisis underneath the eating disorder — not knowing who I was or what I actually likedThe Valentine's Day entry — one of my darkest moments in treatmentThe muffin entry — a spiral that started with a snack and ended with "I am not shit, I am the shit"Sneaking exercise in treatment — and being honest about the moments recovery wasn't perfectThe PHP entry — when things finally started to shift and I started feeling happy againQuotes from This Episode:"It is comforting to have a physical manifestation of the source of my unhappiness. If that's taken from me, my failure and unhappiness becomes my fault.""I don't want this to be my story forever. I need to find my light and choose it.""A muffin should not have the power to make me feel worthless. I am powerful. I am more than this idiotic monster in my head. I am not shit. I am the shit.""There was so much pressure to make the right choice that it makes a lot of sense why I wanted to simplify my life and just think about food and just think about my body."Resources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/The Quasi-Recovery Exit: https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-applicationLeave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: eating disorder recovery journals, ED treatment diary, eating disorder treatment, residential treatment eating disorder, ED recovery real talk, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, eating disorder therapist, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder journals, what recovery really looks like, quasi-recovery, eating disorder treatment experience, ED diary, recovery motivationResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionLast week's episode sparked a lot of conversation online. I posted a clip about eating disorder recovery in the ozempic era and the comments absolutely exploded — and it got me thinking about something I've been wanting to talk about for a while.The thoughts I had in my eating disorder that I'm not proud of. The ones that would probably get me canceled if I posted them without context. The ones that felt so real at the time and are so clearly the disorder talking when I look back now.In this episode I'm unpacking each of those thoughts, where they actually came from, and what they say about the disorder — not about who I am or who you are. If you've had thoughts in your eating disorder that have made you feel like a bad person, this episode is directly for you.In This Episode:Why I posted about my ugliest ED thoughts on Instagram — and why the response floored meThe core reframe: eating disorders are not personality traitsHow eating disorders distort your value system to make harmful behaviors feel moral and rightEach of the ugly thoughts I had — unpacked honestly and without shameFeeling superior when eating less than others at the table — and what was really going onFeeling threatened when someone else's body changed — and the identity piece underneath itBelieving hunger meant I was doing something right — and what that was really aboutBelieving my body said something about my character — and the identity crisis driving itThinking my therapist and dietician were jealous of me — and why the eating disorder needs you to believe thatNot wanting a normal body — and why "just eat normally" was never going to landThinking enjoying food made me weak — and the fear underneath itThe darkest thought — and why it was depression talking, not who I wasWhy your eating disorder thoughts are not your identity — and what they actually areTimestamps:0:00 Intro 1:00 What happened when I posted about the ozempic episode — and what it inspired 4:00 The core frame: eating disorders are not personality traits 6:00 How eating disorders distort your value system 8:00 Ugly thought #1: feeling superior when eating less than others 13:00 What self-control actually is — and what the eating disorder gets wrong about it 14:00 Ugly thought #2: feeling threatened when someone else's body changed 17:00 The identity and scarcity piece underneath that thought 18:00 Ugly thought #3: believing hunger meant I was doing something right 21:00 Interoception — and how the eating disorder distorts your body's cues 22:00 Ugly thought #4: believing my body said something about my character 26:00 Not knowing who I was — and trying to manufacture identity through my body 28:00 Ugly thought #5: thinking my therapist and dietician were jealous of me 30:00 Why the eating disorder needs you to believe everyone trying to help has an ulterior motive 32:00 Ugly thought #6: not wanting a normal body 35:00 Why "just eat normally" was never going to be comforting 37:00 Ugly thought #7: thinking enjoying food made me weak 40:00 Ugly thought #8: believing body change would be worse than not existing 43:00 Why that thought is depression — not character 45:00 You are not your eating disorder thoughts 47:00 Closing thoughtsQuotes from This Episode:"The thing about self-control is you have to be in control of it. When you have an eating disorder, you're not in control of your self-control. That tyrant living in my brain was in control of it.""I was not actually better than anyone at the table. I was just the most afraid at the table.""The real problem was I did not know who I was — so I was trying to manufacture identity based on my body.""You are the one hearing the thoughts. You are not the thoughts."<Resources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

One of the most common questions I get — from clients, from my own lived experience, from people who have spent years wondering — is this: why me? Why did I get an eating disorder when the people around me didn't?In this episode I'm getting into the real answer. Not the oversimplified version. The actual, nuanced, deeply personal answer — using my own story, my clinical experience, and the framework I use with clients in my group program The Quasi-Recovery Exit to help people understand themselves in a way that actually moves the needle in recovery.This one is a thinker. I hope it gives you some real clarity.This Episode Is Brought to You By Cozy EarthCozy Earth makes the softest, most comfortable pajamas and bedding I’ve foung — and comfort in my body is something I don't compromise on anymore. Visit CozyEarth.com and use code RECOVERY for up to 20% off.In This Episode:Why I grew up with two sisters, in the same family, doing the same activities — and I'm the only one who got an eating disorderThe genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger framework — and what it actually means for understanding your own storyThe specific temperament traits I was born with that made me vulnerable to an eating disorderHow my performing arts high school became the environmental trigger that intensified those traitsWhy understanding what caused your eating disorder is actually one of the most powerful things you can do in recoveryThe identity conversation — how the traits your eating disorder co-opted are actually your greatest strengthsWhy you won't lose yourself when you recover — you'll finally find yourselfHow narrative therapy helps you make meaning of your story without shameWhat to do with the traits you don't want to give up in recoveryA reframe for the question "what's wrong with me?" — and what to ask insteadTimestamps:0:00 Intro + new desk setup 2:00 Life update — pregnancy announcement followup, son's hospital stay, Disneyland plans 4:00 A note on binge urges and what they're actually telling you 6:00 Today's topic: what actually causes an eating disorder? 7:00 Growing up with two sisters — same family, same upbringing, only I got an eating disorder 10:00 Genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger 12:00 The temperament traits I was born with — drive, perfectionism, sensory sensitivity 16:00 Early signs of genetic predisposition — body awareness from a very young age 18:00 How performing arts high school became the environmental trigger 22:00 Competition, comparison, and the perfect storm that created my eating disorder 24:00 How to understand your own story through this lens 26:00 The identity conversation — temperament vs conditioning 28:00 Your eating disorder traits are actually your superpowers 30:00 Narrative therapy and making meaning of your story 32:00 What to ask yourself instead of "what's wrong with me?" 35:00 How to channel your traits toward recovery and growth 37:00 Closing thoughtsPractical Reflection Questions From This Episode:What traits do I have that might have made me vulnerable to an eating disorder?What life circumstances intensified those traits or made the eating disorder necessary?What do I actually like about those traits — and do I want to keep them in recovery?Where do those traits show up in my life in ways that aren't harmful?Can I look back through my story with curiosity instead of criticism?Quotes from This Episode:"You don't have to become a different person to recover from your eating disorder. You just have to become who you've always been without the eating disorder casting a shadow over it.""Every trait that made you good at your eating disorder can make you amazResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionFirst things first — I have some news. Big news. News that explains a lot of the cryptic, tired, off-kilter energy you've been picking up on these last few weeks.I'm pregnant. Baby number two is on the way and she is a girl.But after that announcement, we're getting into something I've been genuinely fired up about — because right now, in 2026, I believe this is one of the hardest moments in recent history to be in eating disorder recovery. The cultural noise around weight loss is louder than I have ever heard it. And I wanted to talk honestly about what that's like, what it stirs up, and how to actually stay the course when it feels like the whole world is doing the opposite.In This Episode:The big announcement — baby number two, and what being pregnant with a girl brings up for me as someone in ED recoveryWhy I believe right now is one of the hardest moments in history to be actively recovering from an eating disorderThe cultural conversation around weight loss in 2026 — and why it feels so different from anything we've seen beforeThe comparison to the nineties and early two thousands thin ideal — and why this moment feels even harderA client story about recovering while her parents were actively dieting — and what that taught me about staying the course when everyone around you is going a different directionWhy choosing to eat adequately right now is genuinely a countercultural actThe psychology behind why people without eating disorders get pulled into these cycles — and why understanding that actually helpsWhy GLP-1s and weight loss medications are a different conversation for people with eating disorder historiesHow to use a little healthy rebellion to protect your recoveryPractical strategies for navigating social media, diet culture talk, and the cultural moment we're inTimestamps:0:00 Intro 1:00 Reflecting on last week's body image episode 2:00 The big announcement — I'm pregnant 5:00 Having a girl — and what that brings up around passing on an eating disorder 7:00 Why right now is one of the hardest times in history to be in ED recovery 9:00 The cultural noise around weight loss in 2026 10:30 Comparing this moment to the nineties thin ideal 12:00 How we got here — and why it feels different this time 13:30 Choosing to eat adequately as a countercultural act 15:00 A client story: recovering while her parents were actively dieting 20:00 Putting yourself in the driver's seat of your own values 22:00 The psychology of why people without EDs fall into these cycles 24:00 Why GLP-1s are a different conversation for people in recovery 27:00 It's okay to feel frustrated that other people seem to have an easy solution 29:00 Practical strategies: resetting your algorithm, limiting social media 32:00 Clarifying your values around why nourishment matters to you 33:30 The internal scoff — giving yourself permission to know better 34:30 Finding your people and filling your feed with counterculture 35:30 Telling yourself you can wait it out 37:00 Closing thoughts — eat your food. you know better.Practical Strategies Mentioned:Limit or take breaks from social media — especially during high-exposure seasons like spring and summerReset your algorithm intentionally — spend time actively liking content that feels safe and muting or reporting what doesn'tGive yourself a pep talk before opening the apps — I know what I'm walking into and I know betterPractice noticing when you're getting activated and log off at the first signWrite down what you're looking forward to this season that has nothing to do with your bodyClarify your values — why does nourishing your body actually matter to you right now?Practice a little healthy internal rebellion — you've done enough work to see throuResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Honest confession: my body image has been pretty rough lately. And yes, I know — I'm a recovered eating disorder therapist who just last week talked about how quiet my ED voice has gotten. So what gives?In this episode I'm getting real about what bad body image actually looks like for me now, 11 years into recovery. How it's different from the eating disorder voice. What body dysmorphia really feels like from the inside. And the specific things that actually help me move through it — not the textbook DBT stuff, just what genuinely works for me right now.This one is honest, a little messy, and I think a lot of you are going to relate.This Episode Is Brought to You By Cozy EarthBad body image weeks call for a soft place to land at the end of the day. Cozy Earth makes the softest, most comfortable pajamas and the absolute coziest bedding — and comfort is something I don't compromise on anymore. Visit CozyEarth.com and use code RECOVERY for up to 20% off.In This Episode:Why you can have a quiet ED voice and still have terrible body image — and how those are actually different thingsWhat body dysmorphia really is and how it shows up as a sensory experience, not just negative thoughtsWhy bad body image days are often a signal that something else is off in your lifeThe wardrobe disaster phenomenon and what it actually has to do with body imageWhy body neutrality is more accessible than body positivity — and what it actually looks like in practiceWhat I do instead of white-knuckling through a bad body image weekWhy clothing and personal style have genuinely been a game changer for my body imageSomatic tools that help when you want to completely dissociate from your bodyHow to talk about body image struggles in a way that actually helps you process themWhy showing your body care — even when you don't love it — is what actually heals the relationshipTimestamps:0:00 Intro 1:00 Life update — a weird season, turning 31, and learning to meet my own needs 5:30 This week's topic: my body image has been rough lately 6:00 How body image and the ED voice are actually different things 8:30 What body dysmorphia really feels like from the inside 12:00 The wardrobe disaster and what it signals 15:00 The sensory experience of body dysmorphia 18:30 Social media, idealized bodies, and wanting to dissociate 20:30 Body neutrality vs body positivity — and why neutrality is more accessible 23:00 Riding the wave vs actually doing something about it 25:30 Feelings change — they always have a beginning, middle, and end 26:30 What actually helps me: clothes, comfort, and personal style 29:30 Nuuly subscription — and why it's been a game changer especially for variable sizing in recovery 33:00 Zooming out: bad body image as a signal, not a fact 35:30 Somatic tools for when you want to crawl out of your skin 38:30 Orienting exercise — how to arrive back in your body 39:30 Body patting and butterfly taps 40:30 Talking about it — but in a specific way 43:00 Showing your body care even when you don't love it 45:00 Closing thoughtsPractical Tools Mentioned:Zoom out: when body image is off, look at what else is going on in your life — it's usually a signal, not the whole storyOrienting exercise: find the farthest point you can see, then the closest, then notice your surroundings — arrive back in your bodyBody patting and butterfly taps: gentle somatic tools to feel regulated instead of alienated from yourselfTalk about it — but speak to the feeling, not the criticism. "I feel unsettled and off in my body" instead of piling onShow your body care anyway: eating your meals, booking a massage, doing a face mask — add intention even when it feels hardWardrobe audit: clothes that feel comfortable anResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

Episode DescriptionOne of the most common questions I get — from clients, from Instagram, from people deep in the trenches of recovery — is this: does the eating disorder voice ever actually go away?In this episode, I get honest about my own experience with the ED voice: what it sounded like at its worst, how it shifted through different stages of recovery, and where it lives now (spoiler: it's a lot more like an intrusive thought about tap dancing in a grocery store than a voice running my life).This isn't a tidy yes-or-no answer, because recovery isn't tidy. But it is a real one — and one I don't think the internet talks about honestly enough.In This Episode:What the eating disorder voice actually is — and why it can feel like a separate voice in your head (and no, that doesn't mean you're "crazy")The difference between ego syntonic and ego dystonic thinking, and why that shift matters in recoveryMy personal experience with the ED voice from its loudest point to where it lives nowWhy the voice often gets louder when you start recovering — and what that actually meansThe beach ball analogy: why trying to "shut up" the ED voice often backfiresWhat actually moves the needle: building your own voice, not silencing theirsThe near-relapse I've talked about before — and why it happened even without a constantly active voiceWhy "if I can't fully recover, why even try?" is one of the most dangerous traps in recoveryPractical tools for when the voice feels all-consumingTimestamps:0:44 Intro & life update 3:22 Episode topic intro: the eating disorder voice question 7:19 What is the "eating disorder voice"? 10:56 Who asks this & why 13:39 My personal experience: the voice at its worst 14:38 Do I still have disordered thoughts? My honest answer 20:42 How I got to where I am today 28:06 The beach ball metaphor: giving the voice less space 32:24 My answer: yes and no 36:54 Practical tips if the voice is all-consuming 40:03 OutroPractical Tools Mentioned:Name the voice: learn to label thoughts as "eating disorder thoughts" without immediately fighting themHear it, don't obey it: practice acknowledging the ED voice and giving yourself permission to have a different opinion — even if you don't know what that is yetIdentify the feeling underneath: fear, panic, sadness — and ask what you need that isn't an eating disorder behaviorThe "noise" technique: when all else fails, just say it out loud — noise, noise, noiseQuotes from This Episode:"The goal maybe isn't to stop having an eating disorder voice entirely. Maybe the goal is to stop having it rule your life.""It stopped being just about the eating disorder. I started writing more about meeting new people and discovering new parts of me.""Even if your life can be 50% better than it is right now — that is so worth it compared to the 100% hell that is living with an eating disorder."Keywords/Tags: eating disorder recovery, eating disorder voice, ED voice, does the eating disorder voice go away, quasi-recovery, restrictive eating disorder, disordered eating, food guilt, recovery mindset, anorexia recovery, bulimia recovery, Recovered-ish podcast, Chloe Cox, recovered-ish, eating disorder therapist, eating disorder podcast, recovery tools, ego syntonic, ego dystonic, intrusive thoughts eating disorderResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

hello, lovely friends. welcome back to recovered-ish.today we’re talking about the part of recovery that i think catches a lot of people off guard:how long it takes. how messy it is. and how discouraging it can feel when you’re doing “everything right” and still not feeling better yet.because i think a lot of people go into recovery expecting it to feel hard for a little while… and then eventually click into place.and when that doesn’t happen, it’s really easy to spiral into: is this even working? why is this still so hard? am i doing recovery wrong?this episode is the reality check i think a lot of people need.in this episode, i talk about:why recovery often feels worse before it feels betterthe part of healing nobody really prepares you forwhy treatment is a beginning, not a magic fixhow eating disorders create false safetywhy discomfort doesn’t mean you’re failingwhat actually keeps people going when recovery feels long and exhaustingwhy you’re not behind just because it’s taking timei also talk about the difference between wanting recovery and actually staying in it long enough for your brain and body to catch up.if you’ve ever thought, “i’m trying so hard… why does this still feel awful?” this one is for you.sponsortoday’s episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth — truly one of my favorite brands i’ve gotten to partner with.if you want to romanticize your life a little and make your bed / pajamas / nervous system feel better, i highly recommend.use code RECOVERY for up to 20% off 👉 www.cozyearth.comsupport beyond the podcast💛 Recovery Skills Training — my step-by-step program for eating disorder recovery use code PODCAST for $57 off 👉 https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/follow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloedon’t forget to eat your food.Resources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

hi! welcome back to recovered-ish.today we’re talking about food guilt.but not in the surface-level way it’s usually talked about.because this isn’t just“i feel a little guilty.”this is the kind of guilt that hits after you eat and makes you feel like you need to fix it. immediately.the kind that lingers.the kind that turns into“i shouldn’t have done that” → “i am bad.”and if you’ve ever been stuck in that loop ofeat → feel awful → compensate → feel safe → repeatthis episode is going to make a lot of things click.⚠️ content notethis episode discusses eating disorder thoughts, food guilt, and compensatory urges.no numbers or graphic details.in this episode, i talk about:why food guilt feels so intensethe difference between guilt and shame (and why it matters)how guilt reinforces the eating disorder cyclewhy your body reacts like it’s in danger after eatingwhere “good vs bad” food beliefs actually come fromthe problem with “clean eating” and food ruleswhy this isn’t really about willpowerwhy thinking differently isn’t enough on its ownhow to stop trying to “fix” the foodwhat to actually do after you eat when the guilt hitsreal ways to regulate your body instead of compensatingresources / sponsorsponsorthis episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth.you guys know i’m really intentional about what i share here, and i would never partner with a brand that didn’t actually align.cozy earth makes some of the softest, most comfortable loungewear and bedding i’ve ever owned. like genuinely the kind of stuff that makes you feel a little more taken care of in your day to day.if you want to check them out, you can use code RECOVERY for up to 20% off.www.cozyearth.comRecovery Skills Training — my step-by-step program for eating disorder recoveryget $57 off with code PODCAST👉 https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/follow me on instagram:instagram.com/recoverwithchloe@recoverwithchloeResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

hello, lovely friends. welcome back to recovered-ish.today’s episode is a little different.i was feeling kind of chaotic, kind of scattered, and i knew i did not have it in me to do justice to one of the bigger, heavier topics i had planned. so instead, i did something i honestly never thought i would do.i pulled out my old journals.the actual journals i kept from the depths of my eating disorder through therapy, residential treatment, php, iop, and early recovery. five full books of wild thoughts, assignments, fears, honesty, and things i didn’t even want to say out loud at the time.so in this episode, i’m reading them with you.in this episode, i talk about: – the lies my eating disorder told me – the illusion of control it promised – what the eating disorder was giving me at the time – what it was quietly taking away – identity loss in recovery – why anger can be such a powerful emotion in healing – recovery assignments that actually helped – the moment i started imagining a future in a different body – what it looked like to slowly find myself againthere are definitely moments in this episode that are funny. there are also moments that really got me.more than anything, i hope it makes you feel less alone.because if you’ve ever felt like your thoughts were too weird, too dark, too obsessive, too much for anyone else to understand, i promise you are not the only one.support beyond the podcast if you want more structure and support in your recovery, Recovery Skills Training is my step by step program that helps you build real momentum with food, body image, coping, identity, and recovery skills that actually stick.use code PODCAST for $57 off 👉 https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ follow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloedon’t forget to eat your food.Resources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

hello, lovely friends! welcome back to recovered-ish.today we’re talking about body changes in recovery and how to cope when weight gain starts to feel huge.because of course this is one of the biggest fears in recovery. most people would be willing to take the risk on healing if they could guarantee their body would stay the same. but that’s not how this works. and even when you know logically that your body may need to change, that does not mean you’re going to feel emotionally okay about it.in this episode, i talk about: – why body changes feel uniquely hard in the current social climate – the way beauty standards keep swinging and why that matters – how i coped early on by making body change a “future chloe problem” – why avoidance can help at first and also backfire later – the difference between flooding yourself versus gradually learning to tolerate change – why i do not think loving your body is a requirement for recovery – why body positivity didn’t fully land for me – how making the body less important changed everything – the identity piece underneath the fear of weight gain – why the real question is often “who will i be if i’m no longer the small one, the fit one, the disciplined one?”i also share what actually helped me most. not trying to force myself to love the way i looked. not convincing myself my body was beautiful every second. but building a life that mattered more than my body did.if you’ve ever thought, “i know my body might need to change, but i don’t know how to handle that without spiraling,” this episode is for you.support beyond the podcast if you’re ready for more structured support, Recovery Skills Training is my step by step program for eating disorder recovery.use code PODCAST for $57 off👉https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/follow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloeResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

hello, lovely friends. welcome back to recovered-ish.today we’re talking about quasi recovery.this is the phase where you’re not relapsed. you’re functioning. you’re eating. life looks mostly normal.but the tape is still running.in this episode, i talk about:– what quasi recovery actually is (and how it’s different from relapse) – the “good enough” space that can last for years – rigidity that hides inside normal routines – the identity piece that keeps people stuck – why this phase often gets socially rewardedi also share my own quasi recovery story — including the years i secretly went vegan and didn’t tell my dietitian. it looked aligned. it also kept me safe.we walk through the questions that help you know if you’re in this space and the first practical steps to start getting out.if you’ve ever thought, “i’m not relapsed… but i’m not fully free either,” this episode is for you.support beyond the podcastif you’re ready for more structured support, my 8-week group program the Quasi Recovery Exit is open now!👉 https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-applicationfollow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloedon’t forget to eat your food.Resources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

hello, lovely friends! welcome back to recovered-ish.today we’re talking about motivation. and more specifically, why it feels so hard to find motivation to recover.i hear this all the time. “i don’t feel motivated.” “i don’t have a strong enough reason.” “i know what to do, but i can’t make myself do it.”and the more i sat with this topic, the more i realized something.motivation works beautifully inside an eating disorder.there are goals. numbers. boxes to check. clear cause and effect. you restrict and you feel less guilt. you hit a number and your brain gives you a dopamine spike. accomplishment feeds motivation. motivation feeds accomplishment.it’s a loop.so when we flip the script and say okay, now i’m going to do the opposite of everything that felt concrete and measurable and “safe,” it makes sense that motivation suddenly disappears.in this episode, i talk about:– why eating disorders are incredibly motivating – how accomplishment and dopamine wire you in – how self hatred can also fuel motivation – why recovery feels harder to initiate – the belief underneath recovery which is “i am deserving of care” – why mindset work alone rarely moves the needle – why action has to come before belief – why motivation is not sustainable – what actually carries you forward when motivation failsi also share more of my own story. the false promises my eating disorder made. the flashes of clarity that didn’t last. the fear of being trapped in my own brain. the anger that finally pushed me to take action.and then we get to the two things that actually move recovery forward long term.trust. and risk taking.if motivation feels unreliable for you right now, this episode is for you.support beyond the podcastif you’re ready to stop waiting for motivation and start building real momentum, Recovery Skills Training walks you through the actual doing of recovery. nourishment. movement. coping. support. identity. step by step.you can get $57 off with code PODCAST.👉 https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ follow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloeResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

hi, my lovely friends. welcome back to recovered-ish.this week’s episode is messy. i’m congested. there’s construction beeping outside my office. it’s a full comedy of errors. but honestly… that feels fitting. recovery is messy too.i did a poll on instagram and you all had so many good questions that i couldn’t pick just one. so we’re doing a recovery buffet. a little bit of this, a little bit of that. not a deep dive feast. just honest, off-the-cuff answers.in this episode, we talk about:– how to let go of control when guilt shows up immediately– why the eating disorder is actually the thing controlling you– channeling your “control” into places that serve you instead of hurt you– body acceptance vs body neutrality vs body respect– whether you “have to eat that much” in recovery if you’re not underweight– starting therapy when only 1% of you wants to recover– handling countertransference as a recovered clinician– how to get a diagnosis if you’re an “unconventional” presentation– how to actually take action instead of just consuming recovery content– calories on menus (short answer: hate it)– why feeling guilty after eating normally does not mean you did something wrong– what to do if higher level of care didn’t work for youwe also talk a lot about guilt. how guilt isn’t proof. how you can’t trust it right now. how sometimes eating what your body needs is going to feel bad — and that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.if you’re stuck on the edge of starting. if you’re eating “normally” but feeling awful about it. if you’re trying to let go of control and it feels impossible.this episode is for you.support beyond the podcast:if you’re ready to move from insight to implementation, Recovery Skills Training is my step-by-step course that walks you through the actual doing of recovery. nourishment. movement. coping. support. identity.you can get $57 off with code PODCAST.👉 https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/ follow along on instagram:@recoverwithchloeResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

hi. welcome back to recovered-ish.this episode is about relapse and why i don’t think it means what we’ve been taught to believe it means.relapse is extremely common. and the fact that it’s so common tells me a few things. this is really hard. success in recovery isn’t well defined. and we haven’t figured out eating disorder treatment as well as we think we have.i talk about how relapse usually isn’t accidental. it often has something to do with the nervous system floundering before it finds regulation again. added stress. familiar stress returning before you’re ready. leaving treatment too soon. needing safety again.i also share parts of my own history including a relapse that’s more recent than i’d like to admit and a lot of near misses along the way. lapses. trips that could’ve turned into tumbles. the messy middle that lasts longer than people talk about.we talk about what actually helps when relapse shows up. not panic. not shame. going back to basics. being honest as soon as possible. and re evaluating recovery using the five pillars i come back to again and again. nourishment. movement. support. coping. identity.⚠️ content note this episode is intentionally non graphic. no numbers. no detailed behaviors.in this episode, we talk about: – why relapse is so common – the difference between a lapse and a relapse – nervous system overwhelm and regulation – why relapse isn’t a moral failure – my own relapse and near miss experiences – what actually helps you come back – using the five pillars to reorient recoveryif you’re in a relapse right now, scared you’re heading toward one, or wondering if what you’re experiencing counts, i hope this episode helps you feel a little less alone and a little less panicked.support beyond the episode if you want structure and tools to support your recovery, i created Recovery Skills Training. it’s a step by step course that helps you build real skills around nourishment, movement, coping, support, and identity so you’re not just relying on willpower.you can get $57 off with code PODCAST. 👉 Recovery Skills Training » Powered by ThriveCartfollow me on instagram: @recoverwithchloeResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

today we’re covering one of the most confusing and emotionally loaded topics in eating disorder recovery:exercise.because movement can genuinely help anxiety.and it can also quietly become another way the eating disorder stays in control.in this episode, we talk about the role exercise plays in eating disorders, why stopping movement can feel terrifying, and how to tell the difference between moving to feel connected vs moving to control your body.i also share my personal relationship with exercise — from loving movement as a kid, to compulsive exercise in my eating disorder, to why i needed time away from exercise in treatment before i could ever rebuild a safer relationship with it.this is not a “never exercise again” episode.and it’s not a “just move intuitively” conversation either.it’s a nuanced look at intention, identity, and embodiment — and how to know when exercise is supporting recovery versus quietly running it.⚠️ content notethis episode is intentionally non-triggering:no numbers (weight, calories, vitals)no detailed behaviorsno body comparison or before/after contentin this episode, i talk about:– the “ED to gym girly pipeline”– how exercise can become compensatory– when movement shifts from regulating to controlling– identity and morality around being “disciplined” or “healthy”– why motivation matters more than the movement itself– why some people need a full break from exercise in recovery– my treatment experience with stopping and reintroducing movement– yoga, embodiment, and reconnecting with the body– how to recognize when exercise is becoming disordered again– questions to assess your relationship with movement⏱️ episode timestamps0:00 Intro2:45 Why Exercise Is So Confusing in Recovery9:20 My Early Relationship With Movement13:30 When Exercise Became Compulsive18:30 Exercise as Compensation23:10 Identity, Morality, and “Discipline”28:20 Treatment, Rest, and Why I Had to Stop34:00 Reintroducing Movement Safely39:45 When the Eating Disorder Wakes Back Up43:15 Exercise Relationship Audit49:30 Closing Reflectionssponsor / resourcesRecovery Skills Training — my step-by-step program for eating disorder recoveryget $57 off with code PODCAST👉 https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.comfollow along on instagram:@recoverwithchloeResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

hi! welcome back to recovered-ish.this episode is about one of the most common thoughts that keeps people stuck in eating disorders:it’s not that bad.it could be worse.i’m not sick enough for help.we talk about where this belief comes from, why it feels so convincing, and how it’s reinforced by medical providers, mental health systems, social media, and comparison — even when someone’s inner world is completely consumed by food, body, and fear.i also share personal stories from my own experience, including being complimented on my body at a moment when i was close to asking for help, and later being told by a doctor that i was healthy despite being the most sick — moments that delayed care when i was deeply unwell.⚠️ content notethis episode is intentionally non-graphic:no numbers (weight, calories, vitals)no detailed behaviorsno body comparison or before/after contentin this episode, i talk about:– how eating disorders often begin from a well-intentioned place– the “honeymoon phase” where restriction can feel rewarding– when it stops feeling good and starts taking over– why physical markers aren’t reliable indicators of severity– medical and mental health invalidation– gaps in provider education around eating disorders– social media and the “not sick enough” comparison spiral– the eating disorder’s agenda and why it survives on delay– anosognosia (loss of insight) and why it’s so dangerous– wanting your pain to be visible– why you deserve care now, not later⏱️ episode timestamps0:00 Cold Open: The Lie00:40 Introduction03:20 The Honeymoon Phase06:58 When It Stops Feeling Good10:52 My Story: The Beach Compliment12:59 Medical Invalidation14:20 The Mental Illness Reality17:13 Provider Education Gap21:04 Social Media & Recovery Content26:10 The Eating Disorder’s Agenda31:33 Anosognosia: Loss of Insight33:58 Wanting to Be Sick36:55 You Deserve Care Now37:42 Q&A: First Steps in Recoverysponsor / resourcesRecovery Skills Training — my step-by-step program for eating disorder recoveryget $57 off with code PODCAST👉 https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.c...follow along on instagram:@recoverwithchloeResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

in this episode, we’re talking about the fear of weight gain — and why you can’t just “get over it.”if you’ve ever thought i want recovery, but i can’t handle my body changing, this episode is for you.we unpack why weight gain can feel like danger (not just discomfort), how avoidance wires fear, and why waiting to feel “okay” before taking action keeps people stuck for years.i also want to name this clearly: i recovered into a smaller body, and that comes with privilege. my experience is not universal. the fear, however, is something many of us share — and it deserves compassion, not shame.in this episode, we cover:why weight gain fear feels paralyzing, not superficialhow avoidance makes food and body change feel unsafethe identity layer behind the fear (being “the small one,” the disciplined one, the acceptable one)thinness as protection in a cruel culturewhy you can’t think your way out of this fearwhy exposure — not confidence — is what actually reduces fearwhy body neutrality is a win (you don’t need body love to recover)the moment i accidentally saw my weight years into recovery — and what it taught metakeaway i want you to sit with:you don’t have to want your body to change.you don’t have to feel ready.you don’t have to love your body.actually, recovery happens when you do it afraid.fear in one hand. fork in the other.if this episode brought up insight, familiarity, or emotion — i’d love to hear from you. dm me or leave a comment wherever you’re listening. this podcast is a conversation.follow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloeCreators + resources:i’m linking a few creators and clinicians i deeply respect who speak about recovery, body change, and weight stigma from perspectives beyond my own — including diverse body sizes, racial identities, and queer experiences:shira rosenbluth, lcsw — eating disorder therapist speaking openly about recovery into a larger bodydr. rachel millner — body trust provider focusing on fear, safety, and weight stigmafood psych podcast (christy harrison) — recovery, culture, and weight stigma conversationssonya renee taylor — body liberation through racial justice and collective healingmegan jayne crabbe — lived recovery experience and body change narrativesResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

in this episode, i share my eating disorder + recovery story — but not in the “before/after, numbers, shock value” way. i’m not here to give you content you can compare yourself to. i’m here to give you context, meaning, and the parts that actually matter.i talk about the early moments where body awareness and objectification started showing up way before food did, how perfectionism and high achievement shaped my brain, and how passion (for me: musical theatre) quietly morphed into an eating disorder before i even realized what was happening.this episode is about the function of the eating disorder — not just what it looked like.important note before you listeni do not share weights, numbers, behavior details, or “sick photos.” my goal is for you to leave feeling less alone, not more activated.in this episode, we cover:the earliest body memory i can still remember (and why it mattered)how objectification and “being perceived” can wire body shame earlyperfectionism: not the drive to achieve — the fear of failingpassion + obsession: how a “good trait” can become a risk factorthe perfect storm: temperament + stress + environment (college, change, isolation)how my eating disorder became intertwined with identity and performancethe moment i realized i had achieved my dream… and felt trapped by ithow the eating disorder functioned like an escape hatch (and why that’s so hard to let go of)what actually helped: support, treatment, and building a life i didn’t need to be saved fromthe question i want you to sit with: what is your eating disorder doing for you?sponsor / resources mentionedif you want real tools (not just insight), Recovery Skills Training is my step-by-step program that teaches the skills of recovery: food guilt, fear, identity, internal leadership, exercise, real-life situations, and more.get $57 off with code PODCAST: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/follow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloe (instagram.com/recoverwithchloe)timestamps 00:00 intro + how i’m sharing this safely02:34 why “ed storytime” can be harmful06:06 early body awareness12:27 perfectionism + high achievement15:12 passion → disorder18:47 the perfect storm in college25:04 broadway + identity crisis30:15 the eating disorder as an emergency exit32:54 treatment + recovery37:34 the questions39:12 closing thoughtsif anything in this episode brings up insight, familiarity, or emotion — i’d love to hear from you. comment wherever you’re listening, or DM me your thoughts. your story matters too.Resources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube! 

welcome to the first episode of recovered-ish.in this episode, i share why i started this podcast, what recovered-ish actually means, and why the idea of “full recovery” isn’t as clear-cut as we’re often told.i’m 30 years old, over a decade into eating disorder recovery, and both a therapist and recovery coach. if you asked me today whether i’m fully recovered, my answer wouldn’t be a simple yes or no — and that nuance is exactly what this episode explores.this conversation focuses on the messy middle of recovery. the part that rarely gets talked about. the years where life expands and gets more meaningful, while food and body thoughts can still show up.in this episode, we cover:why i named this podcast recovered-ishwhy recovery isn’t linear and doesn’t have one finish linethe pressure to be “fully recovered” and how it can backfirehow perfectionism sneaks into recoveryredefining recovery in a way that’s sustainable and realwhat progress actually looks like without chasing perfectionsponsor / resources mentionedif this episode resonates and you want more structure, tools, and support, check out Recovery Skills Training — my step-by-step program that teaches the practical skills of eating disorder recovery.get $57 off with code PODCAST: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/timestamps00:00 intro to recovered-ish 00:25 why i started this podcast 02:20 the reality of eating disorder recovery 03:15 is full recovery even possible? 05:24 my personal recovery journey 11:44 perfectionism in recovery 15:05 redefining what recovery means 20:16 learning to stay in the process 29:11 final thoughts + what’s nextfollow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloeif you’ve ever felt stuck in the in-between or questioned whether you’re doing recovery “right,” this episode is for you.Resources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube!