What Adoption Really Takes: Valerie’s Story of Loss, Hope & Openness

In this powerful conversation, Valerie Marble opens up about the winding, emotional path that led her into the world of adoption, first through heartbreak, then through unexpected connection, and ultimately through profound transformation. Her story begins with infertility and the longing to become a mother, then pivots dramatically the night she met a 16-month-old boy in the ER who would one day become her son. What follows is a raw, honest look at the lack of control adoptive parents face, the beauty and pain of open vs. closed adoptions, and the courage it takes to keep your heart open after loss.Valerie shares the emotional roller coaster of adopting three children, including a difficult failed match and a deeply moving hospital experience where she supported her daughter’s birth mother during labor an act she describes as one of the most meaningful gifts of her life. Now the owner of A Step Ahead Adoption Services and a newly published author, Valerie channels her experience into educating families, advocating for ethical adoption, and helping parents navigate both the vulnerability and the growth that adoption demands.Her story is both grounding and inspiring showing how openness, humility, and emotional honesty can shape not just an adoption journey, but an entire family.WHAT YOU’LL LEARNHow infertility shaped Valerie’s path into adoptionWhat “doing it backwards” in foster care and adoption really looks likeThe emotional difference between open, semi-open, and closed adoptionsHow to navigate grief after a failed matchWhy many adoptive parents initially fear openness—and how Valerie overcame itThe role of consultants vs. agencies (and why families often mix them up)The power of journaling and emotional processing during the adoption waitJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.