Parenting Different

There are a lot of conversations about open adoption, but few include the voices of the people actually living it. This episode offers a unique glimpse into what a relationship between an adopted adult and their birth mother can look like when their childhood is shaped by trust, intentionality, and adults who consistently put the child at the center.In this episode, I sit down with birth mother Leah Outten and the daughter she placed for adoption 22 years ago, Kaylee, to talk about what happens when an open adoption is built on trust, humility, and a shared commitment to putting the child first. We talk about jealousy, grief, identity, the hard transitions after visits, and why big emotions don't mean something is wrong. Most importantly, you'll hear what healthy open adoption can look like through both a birth mother's and an adoptee's perspective.If you're an adoptive parent wondering how to love your child well while honoring the people who came before you, this is a conversation you don't want to miss.

School isn't just a place where children learn math and reading. For many adoptees, it's also where they begin asking deeper questions: Am I safe? Do I belong? Will people understand me?In this episode, Anna sits down with adoptee, school counselor, and author, Lauren Haas, for an honest conversation about what it's really like to navigate school as an adopted child. Together, they explore why behavior is often communication, how adoption can show up in both the "easy" student and the child who struggles, and why curiosity is one of the greatest gifts a teacher can offer.Whether you're an adoptive parent preparing for a new school year, an educator who wants to better support adopted students, or simply someone who loves a child impacted by adoption, this conversation will help you see beyond the behavior and understand the heart behind it.You'll walk away with practical insight, greater compassion, and a renewed understanding of how one safe, caring adult can change the trajectory of a child's school experience.

What if one of the greatest opportunities to build trust with your child has been hiding in plain sight? In this powerful conversation, Anna sits down with Tamekia Swint, founder of Styles 4 Kids, to unpack why hair care is so much more than learning the right products or mastering a braid. It's about identity. It's about dignity. It's about helping children of color feel seen, valued, and proud of who they are. Together they share honest stories about the fear, shame, and overwhelm so many transracial adoptive and foster parents experience, while offering practical hope for creating connection instead of conflict. This episode challenges the way we think about hair, reframing it not as a luxury or an optional skill, but as a basic part of caring for a child well. You'll walk away understanding why "hair day" can become one of the most meaningful bonding experiences in your home, why community matters more than another YouTube tutorial, and how something as simple as learning to care for your child's hair can strengthen their confidence for years to come. If you're raising a Black or biracial child, this conversation has the potential to change not just how you do hair, but how you parent. 

What happens when you spend nearly five decades wondering where you came from?In this powerful conversation, Anna Bernacki sits down with transracial adoptee Michael Gaither, a retired educator, former principal, executive coach, and adoption advocate. Michael shares his deeply personal journey of growing up as a Black child in a White family in 1970s Nebraska, navigating identity, race, belonging, and the lifelong questions that many adoptees carry. Michael speaks candidly about the challenges of living between two worlds, the pressure to hide his struggles, and the ways adoption shaped his understanding of himself. He reflects on the anger, anxiety, and isolation he experienced growing up, as well as the profound impact of meeting a Black mentor who helped him begin to see himself differently.Connect with Michael GaitherBeyond the Moment Adoption StudioBeyond the Moment Adoption StudioResources and CoursesPayhip Store – https://payhip.com/BeyondTheMomentAdoptionStudio?utm_source=chatgpt.comFree Resource:Seven Conversations Every White Parent Must Have With Their Black Child - Available free through Michael's website

Dr. Danisha Keating joins Anna for a raw conversation about trauma, survival mode, parenting, and healing. From homelessness and raising her siblings to earning a PhD while battling severe anxiety, Danisha shares what it really means to overcome without pretending it was easy. Together, they discuss trauma-informed parenting, accountability, nervous system healing, and helping kids move beyond survival mode.

In this raw conversation, Anna and Isaac unpack the moment everything shifted for him. Not because the mission failed, but because something deeper inside no longer fit. This episode dives into the identity crisis that comes when your success no longer feels like truth, the grief adoptees carry but rarely name, and the quiet pressure to perform, achieve, and prove your worth… even when it’s costing you everything.If you’ve ever felt like you had to earn your place in the world, this one will hit deeper than you expect. We learn that sometimes walking away isn’t failure, but rather the first honest step toward becoming who you actually are.

In this insightful interview, Dr. Adam Anthony shares his personal journey as a Black adoptee, the complexities of identity and belonging, and his impactful work in mentorship and advocacy within the adoption community. Discover how lived experience fuels empowerment and how to support adopted children and youth effectively.Dr. Adam Anthony is an educator, speaker, and leadership development strategist whose work centers on identity, belonging, and healing-centered growth. An adoptee and former foster care youth, Dr. Anthony brings lived experience and research-informed insight to support individuals and communities in resilience, purpose, and self-discovery. He holds a Doctor of Education in Leadership and a Master of Science in Organizational Leadership from Trevecca Nazarene University, as well as a Bachelor of Science in Communications from the University of Evansville. Dr. Anthony’s professional experience spans educational, faith-based, and nonprofit settings, where he passionately partners with leaders and organizations to see, heal, and lead young men with foster care and adoption experiences on a deeper level. Dr. Anthony is the founder of EmpowerMENt, a platform dedicated to equipping young men of color, especially those with foster care or adoption backgrounds, with tools for emotional wellness, personal development, and leadership. 

This conversation delves into the challenges of parenting children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and the systemic issues surrounding the lack of understanding and resources for this condition. It highlights the emotional toll on families, the impact on relationships, and the need for greater awareness and support for adoptive parents dealing with RAD. The conversation delves into the profound impact of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) on families, highlighting the challenges of parenting, the need for mental health services, the long-term effects of RAD, the necessity for system reform, and coping strategies and support. The speakers emphasize the importance of early identification of RAD and the need for seeking help and support.You can follow Andy on all platforms at @andyfilmsandhikes

What happens when an adoption doesn’t go through? No one really talks about what comes next.In this deeply moving conversation, Valerie Marble shares the story behind the launch of Beyond the Match Foundation, a groundbreaking initiative created to support families navigating the heartbreak of failed adoptions. From the financial devastation of lost funds to the emotional toll that often goes unseen, this episode sheds light on a reality many families quietly endure.But this isn’t just a story about loss, it’s about rebuilding. Valerie introduces a new model of care that combines financial grants, mental health resources, and meaningful gestures like Mother’s Day gift baskets designed specifically for adoptive moms at every stage of the journey. This episode offers hope, validation, and a reminder that even in the most painful disruptions, healing and support are possible.https://astepaheadadoption.com/foundation/

Adoption is often painted as a beautiful, selfless act, but what happens when we look beneath the surface? In this deeply honest and eye-opening conversation, Anna Bernacki sits down with birth mother advocate Jessie Mattos to unpack the ethical complexities that many families never see coming. From hidden coercion to overlooked birth mother support, this episode challenges the narratives that have shaped adoption for decades.Jessie brings nearly a decade of experience and her own lived story to shed light on what truly ethical adoption should look like. She shares powerful insights into red flags adoptive parents must watch for, the emotional realities birth mothers face, and why centering the adoptee is essential for long-term healing. This isn’t just about doing adoption “right” it’s about confronting uncomfortable truths so that children, birth parents, and adoptive families can all thrive.If you’re considering adoption, already parenting through it, or simply want a more honest understanding of its impact, this episode will change the way you think and feel about adoption forever.What You’ll Learn:The biggest red flags and green flags when choosing an adoption agencyHow subtle coercion shows up in adoption (and why it matters)Why open adoption should be the standard—not the exceptionThe lifelong impact of adoption language on adoptee identityHow adoptive parents can build trust and security through relationshipsThe truth about birth mothers and breaking harmful stereotypesWhy “love isn’t the reason” behind placement decisionsJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

Simon Benn spent most of his life believing he had a “good” adoption story. Raised in a loving home, he didn’t carry the obvious wounds many adoptees describe. But at 40 years old, a simple revelation that a childhood teddy bear came from his birth mother shook something deep inside him. What followed was a painful question many adoptees quietly carry: If she loved me… why didn’t she keep me?Years later, reading his birth mother’s letter would completely transform that belief. In this powerful conversation, Simon shares how that moment helped him move from feelings of rejection to a profound sense of connection and love. His journey reveals that identity isn’t just about where we come from it’s about how we interpret our story, and whether we allow it to define or free us.This episode goes beyond adoption labels and digs into something universal: the human search for meaning, belonging, and truth. Simon also shares insights from interviewing hundreds across the adoption constellation and introduces his THRIVE framework offering a new way to think about trauma, healing, and growth. His message is clear: healing doesn’t come from staying stuck in the past—it comes from expanding who we become.What You’ll Learn:How a childhood object unlocked hidden adoptee griefWhy feelings of abandonment can shift into understanding and loveThe balance between exploring your past and not getting stuck in itHow understanding the “why” can strengthen parenting and relationshipsThe THRIVE framework: Trauma, Healing, Resilience, Identity, Vision, EmpowermentWhy healing requires growth not just timeA powerful mindset shift for adoptive parents: it’s not about fixing your childJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

Melissa Smallwood’s story is layered with resilience, heartbreak, healing, and deep commitment to children from hard places. Removed from her home as a child and placed into foster care, Melissa aged out of the system as a teen mom, never imagining that one day she would become both an adoptive parent and a trauma therapist working in child welfare. In this powerful conversation, she shares how her lived experience shaped the way she parents children with complex trauma and how her family ultimately grew to include seven children through a combination of step-parent adoption, foster care adoption, and unexpected family connections.The conversation dives into the realities many adoptive and foster parents face but rarely talk about—triggering moments when parenting mirrors your own childhood trauma, the painful decision to pursue residential treatment for a child, and the emotional toll of loving kids who are struggling deeply. Melissa offers wisdom on maintaining connection, prioritizing safety for the entire family, and showing up for children even when healing takes years.You’ll also hear practical guidance for parenting trauma-affected teens how to balance accountability with compassion, why consequences still matter, and how “scaffolding” life skills can prepare kids for adulthood when their developmental age doesn’t match their biological age. This episode is an honest, hopeful conversation for parents navigating the messy middle of trauma, healing, and unconditional love.What You’ll Learn:What it’s like to grow up in foster care and later become an adoptive parentHow trauma triggers can resurface when fostering or adopting childrenWhen residential treatment becomes necessary—and how to stay connectedWhy safety for the whole family must be the top priorityHow to parent trauma-affected teens using “scaffolding” instead of controlThe importance of relationship over rigid rules during adolescenceHow adoptive parents can support healing without taking responsibility for the outcomeJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

When racism makes headlines, transracial families feel it at home. What others may dismiss as politics often lands as something deeply personal for parents raising children of color.In this candid conversation, Julie Etter and Isaac Etter explore how racial incidents impact identity, trust, and family dynamics. They discuss the pain of community silence, the responsibility of white parents to speak up, and the challenge of preparing children for bias without defining them by it. This episode offers both practical guidance and heartfelt encouragement for families walking this road.What You’ll LearnHow racial incidents uniquely affect transracial adoptive familiesWhy silence from friends and community can feel isolatingAge-appropriate ways to talk about race at homeHow internet culture is reshaping racial awarenessThe balance between preparation and protectionWhy diverse community and racial mirrors matterJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

The foster care system feels massive. Broken. Overwhelming. And if you’re a foster or adoptive parent in the thick of it, it can feel like your voice doesn’t matter at all.In this powerful conversation, Kat Momen shares how she went from overwhelmed foster mom to grassroots advocate knocking on legislators’ doors, testifying at the state house, and fighting for children to have legal representation in court. But this isn’t a story about politics. It’s a story about courage. About choosing child safety over comfort. About learning to conflict well, document wisely, and speak up even when retaliation feels real.If you’ve ever walked into a courtroom and wondered, “When are we going to talk about the kids?” this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with practical, doable steps to advocate in your case, in your state, and in your own home. Change doesn’t happen all at once. It starts with one voice refusing to stay silent.What You’ll Learn:Why children in foster care often lack true legal advocacyHow to conflict professionally (without burning bridges)Practical steps to protect yourself through documentationHow to contact your state legislators—and what to sayThe power of showing up in court prepared and professionalHow to overcome fear of retaliation while advocating for child safetyWhy slow, steady grassroots work creates lasting changeJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

What happens when an adoptee becomes an adoptive mom?In this deeply honest conversation, Dolly Regier shares what it means to live on both sides of the adoption triad. Adopted from South Korea and raised in a multi-racial adoptive family, Dolly grew up hearing the beautiful parts of her story but not always the grief underneath it. When she felt called to adopt herself, the process unexpectedly reopened questions she had buried for years: identity, belonging, birth family, and the silent weight of loss that adoption carries.As her daughter entered the teenage years, Dolly found herself face-to-face with familiar struggles identity confusion, racial visibility in a small rural town, and the complicated tension between pride and privacy in adoption narratives. She shares what it means to guard a child’s story, to avoid oversharing, and to parent through trauma while still healing your own.The conversation turns to hope as Dolly explains how neurofeedback became a turning point for her family. After years of navigating trauma responses, therapy resistance, and parenting triggers, she discovered a brain-based tool that helped regulate not just her daughter, but the entire family system. This episode is a powerful reminder: healing is possible, and when the brain finds safety, the whole family can change.What You’ll LearnThe hidden grief many adoptees carry beneath the “chosen” narrativeWhat it’s like to adopt after being adoptedWhy protecting your child’s adoption story mattersIdentity struggles for transracial adoptees in small communitiesHow trauma shows up differently in teensWhat neurofeedback is and how it helps with trauma and regulationWhy nervous system healing works best when the whole family participatesJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

Eating struggles in foster and adoptive homes are rarely about food alone. In this powerful and deeply affirming episode, Anna sits down with Madison a registered dietitian and adoptive mom to explore how trauma fundamentally reshapes a child’s relationship with eating. From food hoarding and extreme pickiness to fear, control, and shame at the table, this conversation names what so many parents experience but few know how to address.Madison shares why common advice like restricting snacks, labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” or locking up the pantry can unintentionally deepen fear and dysregulation. Instead, she offers a trauma-informed framework centered on felt safety, trust, and connection reminding parents that healing begins when children no longer have to protect themselves around food. This episode will help caregivers shift from fear-based feeding to relationship-based nourishment.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, judged, or worried you’re “doing it wrong” when it comes to feeding your child with trauma, this episode will meet you with clarity, compassion, and hope.What You’ll LearnWhy trauma often shows up as food hoarding or picky eatingHow food insecurity impacts a child’s brain and behaviorWhy traditional nutrition rules don’t work for traumatized kidsThe hidden harm of labeling foods as “good” or “bad”How trust and felt safety shape a child’s eating habitsTrauma-informed alternatives to restriction and controlHow parents can model a healthy relationship with food👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here:https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

In Part 2 of this powerful conversation, Janelle Basham and host Anna move deeper into what adoption looks like over time when children grow up, technology changes everything, and honesty can no longer be delayed. Together, they explore open adoption, boundaries, and the importance of centering the child even when relationships are complicated, messy, or painful.Janelle shares why adoption is built on loss for everyone involved, birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents alike and why that loss doesn’t need to be fixed to be lived with well. This episode unpacks the dangers of secrecy, the harm of fear-based decisions, and the lifelong consequences when children are denied truth, medical history, or access to their own stories. With compassion and clarity, Janelle challenges adoptive parents to choose courage over control and connection over comfort.This conversation is an invitation to do adoption differently through honesty, humility, community, and a willingness to sit with the hard things for the sake of the child.What You’ll LearnWhy adoption is built on loss for birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parentsHow open adoption can evolve and why boundaries still matterThe harm caused by secrecy, fear, and delayed truthWhy children deserve honest, age-appropriate informationHow technology and DNA have permanently changed adoptionWhy adopted children cannot be responsible for healing adult woundsWhat it looks like to center the child, even when it’s uncomfortable👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here:https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

What does it really mean to choose adoption, and how does that decision stay with you for life? In Part 1 of this deeply honest conversation, Janelle Basham shares her story of becoming a birth mother at 17 and the love, loss, and courage behind making an adoption plan. With vulnerability and clarity, Janelle takes us back to the beginning, navigating pregnancy, racial tension, limited support, and the painful realization that love alone isn’t always enough to parent well.Janelle challenges the myths and stereotypes surrounding birth mothers and adoption, speaking openly about grief, identity, and the lifelong “hole in the heart” that placement can leave behind. As both a birth mother and a leader in adoption advocacy, she offers a perspective rooted in lived experience, one that reminds us adoption is not about being unwanted, but about sacrifice, responsibility, and doing the best you can with what you have.This is Part 1 of a powerful two-part series that lays the emotional foundation for understanding adoption with greater compassion, honesty, and care.What You’ll LearnWhat leads a birth mother to choose adoptionWhy love alone isn’t enough to parent a childHow parenting plans and adoption plans can exist togetherThe long-term grief birth mothers carry after placementWhy adoption is not about rejection or abandonmentHow harmful stereotypes about birth parents affect everyoneWhat it really means to live with loss, not “move on” from it👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here:https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

The holidays can bring warmth, traditions, and togetherness, but for adoptive families, they can also surface grief, trauma, sensory overload, and big emotions that don’t fit neatly into picture-perfect expectations. In this episode of Parenting Different, Anna sits down with adoptive mom Melinda Martin for an honest, compassionate conversation about what adoption and the holidays really look like behind closed doors.Melinda shares her journey from foster care to adopting a sibling set of three, and how the holidays became a season that required flexibility, grace, and a willingness to let go of “the way it’s supposed to be.” Together, they explore how trauma often shows up during celebrations, why dysregulation can spike after holiday events, and how parents can protect their children, and themselves, by prioritizing safety, connection, and nervous system regulation over performance.If the holidays feel heavy, chaotic, or disappointing this year, this episode is a reminder that you are not failing. Sometimes the most meaningful memories are made not by doing more, but by doing less and choosing your family over expectations.What You’ll LearnWhy the holidays can be especially triggering for adopted childrenHow trauma and loss surface during celebrationsLetting go of rigid traditions to meet your child’s needsWhy flexibility matters more than “perfect” holidaysHow to say no to events without guiltSupporting nervous system regulation during busy seasonsCreating connection-centered holiday memoriesJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here:👉 https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

In this powerful and deeply vulnerable episode, Lainey Hartley shares her extraordinary journey from childhood neglect, foster care, and kinship care to becoming a foster mom, adoptive mom, author, and advocate. She opens up about the moments that shaped her, being pulled from her mother’s arms as a toddler, surviving homelessness, navigating an abusive relationship as a teen, and learning to raise children while still carrying the weight of her own unmet childhood needs.Lainey and Anna explore the emotional collision that happens when parenting reawakens the wounds you thought you had outgrown. They talk about postpartum triggers, perfectionism learned through survival, and what it feels like to foster children whose stories painfully mirror your own. Through it all, Lainey reveals how healing, both slow and powerfully, has softened the way she parents, helping her move from control to connection and from survival to safety.This conversation is a testament to resilience, repair, and the ongoing work of breaking generational cycles. It is a must-listen for any parent navigating trauma, identity, and the complex journey toward becoming the parent they needed as a child.What You’ll LearnHow childhood trauma resurfaces when you become a parentThe emotional impact of fostering when you were once in foster careWhy control and perfectionism show up in parenting after traumaThe transformative power of repair, apology, and emotional safetyWhat it means to separate your story from your child’sHow healing reshapes the way we respond, connect, and loveJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

In this powerful conversation, Valerie Marble opens up about the winding, emotional path that led her into the world of adoption, first through heartbreak, then through unexpected connection, and ultimately through profound transformation. Her story begins with infertility and the longing to become a mother, then pivots dramatically the night she met a 16-month-old boy in the ER who would one day become her son. What follows is a raw, honest look at the lack of control adoptive parents face, the beauty and pain of open vs. closed adoptions, and the courage it takes to keep your heart open after loss.Valerie shares the emotional roller coaster of adopting three children, including a difficult failed match and a deeply moving hospital experience where she supported her daughter’s birth mother during labor an act she describes as one of the most meaningful gifts of her life. Now the owner of A Step Ahead Adoption Services and a newly published author, Valerie channels her experience into educating families, advocating for ethical adoption, and helping parents navigate both the vulnerability and the growth that adoption demands.Her story is both grounding and inspiring showing how openness, humility, and emotional honesty can shape not just an adoption journey, but an entire family.WHAT YOU’LL LEARNHow infertility shaped Valerie’s path into adoptionWhat “doing it backwards” in foster care and adoption really looks likeThe emotional difference between open, semi-open, and closed adoptionsHow to navigate grief after a failed matchWhy many adoptive parents initially fear openness—and how Valerie overcame itThe role of consultants vs. agencies (and why families often mix them up)The power of journaling and emotional processing during the adoption waitJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

In this powerful episode, Abbey Ramirez shares the winding, vulnerable, and hope-filled road that led her to motherhood through embryo adoption and eventually to welcoming twins through domestic infant adoption. After years of unexplained infertility, repeated losses, and the emotional weight of uncertainty, Abbey discovered embryo adoption, an option she barely knew existed. Her story takes us inside the medical, emotional, and relational complexities of transferring embryos, navigating open donor relationships, and holding joy and grief at the same time.Abbey opens up about the moment she learned only one embryo had survived, the heartbreak of a failed second transfer, and how she carried both gratitude and sorrow in the same breath. Then, in a stunning twist of timing and grace, she and her husband were chosen to adopt twins almost exactly one year later. Abbey speaks with clarity, warmth, and honesty about becoming a mom through multiple forms of adoption, and how she’s already laying the groundwork to talk about genetics, identity, and belonging with her children.This episode is a comforting, educational, and profoundly human look at infertility, embryo adoption, and the surprising ways families grow.WHAT YOU’LL LEARNHow embryo adoption works and what the process actually looks likeThe emotional reality of infertility and unexplained diagnosisWhat happens during a frozen embryo transfer (FET)Navigating open, semi-open, and anonymous embryo donationHow to talk to kids about embryo adoption and genetic identityThe grief of failed transfers and finding hope againHow Abbey ultimately built her family through both embryo and infant adoptionJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

In this powerful and deeply vulnerable episode of Parenting Different, host Anna Bernacki talks with Julie Etter, teacher, mom of five, and adoptive parent trainer, about the silent grief that so many women carry after infertility and pregnancy loss. Julie shares her decade-long journey through medical dismissal, chronic pain, and nine heartbreaking losses before discovering the truth about her endometriosis and PCOS.Her story doesn’t end there. Julie opens up about stepping into adoption while still holding unhealed grief and how that journey reshaped her understanding of motherhood, loss, and love. Together, Anna and Julie explore how infertility trauma can show up in parenting, the importance of therapy, and why true healing begins when we give ourselves permission to grieve.What You’ll Learn:The emotional and physical toll of infertility and pregnancy lossHow medical dismissal shapes women’s health experiencesWhy adoption is not a “cure” for infertility griefThe impact of unresolved trauma on parenting and attachmentHow therapy and honest conversations foster real healingWhy comparison minimizes grief and how to lead with empathyPractical ways to advocate for your health and emotional wellbeingIf this episode touched your heart, share it with someone walking a similar road.Download your free resource: parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more real, healing-centered conversations on adoption, identity, and parenting.

In this episode, we explore the reality of international adoption through the powerful story of Jodi Slein’s journey to adopt her son from Romania. Host Anna Bernacki sits down with Jodi, a parent coach and adoptive mom, to talk about the moment she first learned about Romania’s orphanage crisis, what it was like to walk inside an institution where infants had stopped crying, and how she navigated the complex process of adopting a child internationally in the 1990s. Jodi opens up about the early signs of trauma, sensory challenges, and attachment needs that emerged after bringing her son home—and how adolescence brought even deeper layers of grief, identity, and healing. She also discusses the long-term impact of institutional care, the closure of Romania’s international adoption program, and what happened to children who were never adopted. What You’ll Learn: • The truth about international adoption in the 90s • Conditions inside Romanian orphanages • Early trauma and sensory needs in adopted children • How attachment forms after institutional care • Challenges during school years and adolescence • Reunion with birth family and its emotional impact • Why Romania closed international adoption and what came next If you want to understand the real, unfiltered story behind international adoption and the resilience of children who survive early neglect, this episode is essential viewing. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

Host Anna Bernacki welcomes Parenting Different founder Isaac Etter to break down the biggest misunderstandings adoptive parents have and what truly helps adoptees thrive. From trauma-informed parenting and race, to curiosity, grief, and identity, Isaac explains why adoptive parents don’t need perfection, they need tools, community, and humility. Packed with insight and actionable wisdom, this episode gives families a roadmap for raising secure, connected, and emotionally supported adoptees. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

In this powerful and personal episode, host Anna Bernacki sits down with her adopted brother Jon DeWitt for their first-ever honest conversation about what it was like growing up adopted in the same home. Together, they revisit childhood memories, talk about attachment and belonging, and reflect on how adoption shaped their identities in different ways. With honesty, humor, and deep empathy, they explore what it means to find connection, heal family patterns, and become the kind of adults and siblings they needed as kids. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

Host Anna Bernacki sits down with adoptive mom and advocate Alice Refauvelet to explore the messy, meaningful work of transracial parenting. Alice shares her journey through infertility and adoption, how she’s learning to raise a Black daughter in a white world, and why doing better starts with being willing to learn. A candid, hope-filled look at the power of reflection, repair, and community in adoption. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

In this episode of the Parenting Different Podcast, host Anna Bernacki speaks with Devon Anasiewicz, whose journey through foster care and adoption began with one unexpected phone call. Devon opens up about loving through uncertainty, grieving the children who leave, and holding space for both the beauty and the heartbreak that adoption brings. Her story is a powerful reminder that love in adoption isn’t about perfection; it’s about choosing to stay when it hurts. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

In this episode of the Parenting Different podcast, host Anna Bernacki sits down with April Ficklin, Director of Family Support Services at Flourishing Families of South Carolina. April shares her deeply personal story of adopting siblings through foster care, the unexpected challenges that came with parenting children from hard places, and the transformation that happened when she discovered trust-based relational intervention (TBRI). From sleepless nights and feeling alone to finding hope, new tools, and a supportive community, April’s journey offers practical wisdom and encouragement for adoptive parents navigating trauma, attachment, and the long game of building trust. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

In this episode, host Anna Bernacki speaks with adoptee Kristin Kirkland about the realities of adoption and identity. From uncovering long-hidden truths as a young adult, to navigating grief and ultimately finding validation through reunion, Kristin’s story highlights both the struggles and the joys of embracing one’s whole identity. This episode is an honest and encouraging resource for adoptees, adoptive parents, and anyone touched by adoption. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

Host Anna Bernacki talks with adoptee and filmmaker Alexander King about adoption, identity, and the healing role of music. From being adopted from Ukraine to creating an upcoming short dance film, Alexander shares his journey of processing grief, redefining connection, and discovering belonging through art. This candid conversation offers adoptive parents insight into what it means to truly be known and wanted. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

Anna Bernacki talks with Talia-Rae about growing up with adopted siblings, navigating jealousy, trauma, and “traumaversaries,” and how her family’s foster care journey shaped her perspective and empathy Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

In this episode of Parenting Different, host Anna Bernacki is joined by Raquel McCloud and Leah Outten to explore what healing looks like in adoption. Together, they share how retreats built around laughter, creativity, and community are helping adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents find space for both grief and gratitude. From discovering the freedom of play to launching The Ampersand Initiative, Raquel and Leah open up about their journeys as birth moms and the intentional ways they’re creating spaces for adoption-connected families to heal, connect, and thrive. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

Episode one of the Parenting Different podcast with MaryBeth Murdock Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free