What Are You Waiting For?

New York is my favourite city in the world (she says, not being at all well travelled) and I’ve visited so many times I’ve lost count at this point, so how can it be that when talking about this favourite city of mine, I’m always faced with a, ‘oh have you been to - insert famous landmark here’ and almost always haven’t. I think it’s the baseline assumption that there will always be more time.I’m pretty hardcore about planning city trips. I make a list of places we want to visit, see and restaurants we want to eat in and then group them by area. I make a schedule with maps and make sure we hit all the local spots and are maximising our time. It’s not like I’m a blasé, ‘see what happens on the day’ kind of traveller, so why was it my *counts in head* 12th or so trip to New York before I made it to Katz Deli? Once I knew New York would be a regular destination, once I knew I’d be back again and again, it became less important to tick off the iconic locations. When you know something is available, you don’t worry about putting it in your diary or making plans to experience it, it will always just be there, right? This applies to so many things. I don’t always go out of my way to spend quality time with my kids because I live with them, I see them every day. I don’t have a weekly - or even monthly - date night with my husband because, we’ll get around to it. I can go weeks without seeing my parents or my brother or niece, because they live so close, I can see them anytime - and then I just don’t.Those limited edition burgers McDonalds release are always more appealing than a new item on the menu.. because that’ll be around forever, I’ll get to it. The perceived access and availability of something makes it less important and less of a priority - but nothing’s guaranteed.A friend of mine is no longer able to travel long distance because of an illness. I assume I’ll only be more able to hop on a plane to New York as I get older. My time and money freedom will allow me endless trips to the states, to get to those things I haven’t done yet. Restaurants close, people get ill, family moves away. We assume we have all the time in the world but we don’t.I did finally get to Katz Deli this summer and (although I may not make a special trip back) I’m glad I went. It gave me the old school New York vibes and looked exactly the same as it did in When Harry Met Sally. They even had the sign hanging above the table they sat at in the movie. It was special and definitely a bucket list item.One of the reasons I made my 40 by 40 birthday list was because I knew I wouldn’t do anything with this year if I didn’t. I knew that not only did I need to make the list but I needed to tell you I’d made the list. I needed to record myself checking things off it and commit to creating these episodes to share with you. Now, granted, I did thing they’d be weekly updates and I’ve been much more fair-weather about this than planned - but even if I complete HALF of what I set out to, I’ll have done more in 2025 and made a conscious choice to try more new things than I have in previous years.They say life is long and I do believe that but it doesn’t always feel it, does it? The last 20 years have felt like 40 and 5 all at once. I mentioned in a recent video that I’d been dreaming of our next house being the vision board house that my kids would come back home to, the one they remember their childhoods in, until one day I realised, they’d already grown up in this house. This is their childhood home and that ship has sailed. Time passed but in my mind, I was still chasing an old idea of what my life would be. I’ve pivoted and our next house, our last house, will be my Grandma house. The magical, witchy house my grandkids will visit and they will remember growing up in. We can’t stop time and some dreams aren’t meant to be but all this is to say, it’s going by every day, don’t skip opportunities, assuming they will come back around. I know I have lots of life left and could meet countless more versions of myself, discovering new wants and fears all the time, but I never want to look back and wish I’d got on that train.I want to do all the things, as Mrs Maisel said, ‘I want a big life’, and that doesn’t come from leaving things for tomorrow. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mikhila.substack.com/subscribe