What Chronic Pain Taught Me About My Relationship with God

Does God stay when the pain doesn’t go away? In this powerful LDS testimony, we talk about chronic pain, family trials, doubt, and what a real relationship with Jesus Christ looks like when life doesn’t get easier.As a young girl, Jacque felt the Spirit before she understood what it meant.While gospel music played in her home, something settled quietly in her heart—a certainty that Jesus Christ was real, and that He knew her.She would need that certainty later.Her parents were the only ones in their families to join the Church.Faith was new. Hard. Sometimes lonely.Then came divorce, constant change, and the feeling of never quite knowing where she belonged. She wanted a strong family, a steady life, a faith that didn’t shake—but life didn’t unfold the way she imagined.She chose the covenant path anyway.Marriage. Children. Responsibility.And then a trial she couldn’t fix.For more than ten years, Jacque lived with chronic pain that never fully left.Prayers didn’t always bring relief.Answers didn’t always come quickly.And there were moments she wondered why a loving God would allow something that just kept going.What she learned in those years changed the way she saw Him forever.In this deeply honest conversation, Jacque shares what happened when her relationship with God stopped being something she talked about—and became something she depended on.When she told the Lord the truth about her anger, her fear, and her exhaustion… and felt compassion instead of distance.When repentance felt like healing.When covenants became something that held her steady instead of something she had to hold alone.This episode is about chronic pain.About faith that doesn’t come easily.About staying when it would be easier to step back.And about discovering that sometimes the moment you wonder if God is still there… is the moment you begin to know that He never left.0:00 Life Falls Apart: Losing Stability Early6:22 Searching for Safety in a Shaken World7:23 Choosing Covenants for Yourself7:38 Craving Family, Finding Eternal Love9:46 When Faith Becomes Performance13:01 The Trap of Earning God’s Love13:31 Chronic Pain & a Divine Awakening13:50 Learning to Feel Loved—Without Earning It14:20 Anger at God… and Why He Stayed17:46 Daily “Love Gathering” with the Lord32:08 Repentance = Telling the Truth36:05 Breaking Self-Protection & Receiving Love36:27 Healing Through Vulnerability & Example43:25 The Temple as a Spiritual Hospital44:33 “Where Else Would I Go?”—Christ Is My RockShow Notes: www.lionessatthedoor.com