What growing up afraid taught me

Uhm, you know, it's funny. I don't think I ever felt safe at home when I was a little kid and I have like these really crazy memories of being alone and looking for my mom. My mom was an alcoholic. She's no longer with us, but you know, I think that she had a lot going on and there were times that I she just couldn't be there for me. And I don't tell you that you know for sympathy or for aggrandizing, I tell you that because of what it taught me. And how I've used those skills in life and I'm sure that you can relate to this. I'm sure if you're listening to this right now and you went through a similar situation when you were a kid. And you also recognized that it made you independent, right? And it made you resilient like tough, tough on the outside. I like to say right and resourceful, like I had to be a resourceful kid. I had to figure things out because there wasn't anybody there like kind of showing me the way. But you know the other thing it did too was, because of the kind of the fear and the chaos that I was around, I really learned to play it safe like I really learned to do a really good look good on the outside but inside I was terrified, like terrified I was. Scared of everything, and I was a worrier. I was such a worrier, you know. You know, I still worry I still slip back into that behavior absolutely, but I think now like I'm just more aware of it and I'm just able to see it for what it is, right? It was something that served me. At one point in my life, but doesn't serve me anymore, right and uhm? Epic Bones, which is this gal who's an artist. She has this great picture that she drew of her like cradling fear and saying hey thanks bud, thanks for you know-helping me out all those times, but I'm OK now and I don't need you anymore and that is today how I like to feel. But you know the fear and the worry and anxiety like it served me. It served me at one point, and it served me for a long time in my adulthood. But today it just doesn't serve me anymore and there's just other things I want to be doing with my energy. And as you think about where you are today, and if you're struggling with those things, I just want to encourage you to maybe have a little conversation with little you and the big scary fear. And our shadow self and say listen like OK I see you I see you Boo, and I see what you did for me, and I see how you protected me and kept me safe. But today. Today I get to choose. Today I get to choose that I don't have to be ruled by that anymore. It doesn't have to have the driving wheel, right. Jesus take the wheel. It doesn't have to be the driver, right? I can be the driver. Fear can sit in the back seat. Worry can sit in the front seat if it wants, but they don't have to drive right? We can make those choices. We can make decisions today that lead from a place of love and light and realize that there is so much more that we can achieve that we can embrace so much more love and you know, just by saying, I recognize that you're there. OK and then just allowing it to be and realizing that it doesn't have to be this consuming piece of our life anymore, right? So, I'm just going to leave you with that right now.  If you want to work with me and figure out what you learned growing up afraid, let’s have a discovery call or jump into one of my free monthly workshops. The next one is October 12th at 6pm PST via zoom. Message me for a link. I hope this helps you on your journey. Like and follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/livelessafraid/ and check out the links in my bio there. You can also follow me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/livelessafraid. At the bottom of this episode, you can also send me an audio message.