EPISODE · Mar 2, 2026 · 49 MIN
What Happened to the Person I Knew? Why Relationships Change
from Behavioral Grooves Podcast · host Kurt Nelson, PhD and Tim Houlihan
Relationships change because people change. In this episode, we explore what it means when someone you love no longer feels like the person you once knew. Using behavioral science, we examine why personality shifts over time, why growth does not always happen in the same direction, and how to decide whether to reconnect, recalibrate, or let go. Topics [0:00] Understanding Relationship Changes [7:07] Relationship Changes Over Time [13:28] Self-Expansion Theory and Michelangelo Phenomenon [22:08] Growth vs. Escape: What’s Really Driving the Change? [29:49] How to Navigate Relationship Changes [34:00] Updating the Story of “Us” [43:01] The Importance of Compassion [46:00] Regret, Loss, and What to Do Next ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work by Eli Finkel Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Music Links Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know Flora Cash - You’re Somebody Else
What this episode covers
Relationships change because people change. In this episode, we explore what it means when someone you love no longer feels like the person you once knew. Using behavioral science, we examine why personality shifts over time, why growth does not always happen in the same direction, and how to decide whether to reconnect, recalibrate, or let go. Topics [0:00] Understanding Relationship Changes [7:07] Relationship Changes Over Time [13:28] Self-Expansion Theory and Michelangelo Phenomenon [22:08] Growth vs. Escape: What’s Really Driving the Change? [29:49] How to Navigate Relationship Changes [34:00] Updating the Story of “Us” [43:01] The Importance of Compassion [46:00] Regret, Loss, and What to Do Next ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work by Eli Finkel Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Music Links Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know Flora Cash - You’re Somebody Else
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What Happened to the Person I Knew? Why Relationships Change
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