What I Learned about Marriage from Tony Robbins

Two years ago I hosted the first ever Utah Date Night. Hundreds of people showed up to hear some of my favorite relationship experts speak for a few hours. At the very end of the event we did a powerful activity. We had the entire audience stand up and dance to an amazing, upbeat song. They got their hearts pumping, and their adrenaline going. Then, we cut the music and turned on a romantic slow song. Hundreds of couples spread across the auditorium, hugging each other tight, and swaying to the music. Some of them started to cry. Others held each other more tightly than they had in a LONG time. It was an amazing, magical experience. The reason this was such a powerful emotional experience for so many is that we tricked their physiology! Many of these couples showed up feeling a little bored in their relationships. Others were feeling "stuck." A few even felt like they'd lost their mojo, or that the passion they once had had faded. When they all stood up and danced to the fast song, the music and the movement released endorphins into their brains. The very same kind of endorphins that they felt when they first fell in love. Then we had them hold each other close and dance to the slow song. And their brains released Oxytocin, the bonding chemical. We essentially simulated the physiological experience of falling in love. When I saw Tony Robbins speak a few weeks ago, he reminded me of the power we all have to alter our own physiology. If you're in a bad mood… If you're feeling resentful or angry… If you're bored with life… If you're feeling stuck, distant, or disconnected… Often times all it takes to change your mood is to change your physiology! Do some push-ups, take a dance break, go for a walk or a jog, lift your arms above your head and let out a primal scream, take 2 minutes and completely fill your lungs with every breath, take a cold shower… When you change your physiology, you change your emotions. When you change your emotions, you change your attitude and your choices. This is a POWERFUL tool that you can use to get unstuck in your marriage, and infuse it with passion and energy if it's feeling lifeless. Has your physiological state been reflective of a funk you've been in lately? Try this principle out… alter your physiology, and see how it changes your attitude and your emotions! -Nate