“When I Called, They Never Answered” | Fathers, Faith & Disappointment

In this deeply personal episode, Aiwan shares the "three goes" she had at fatherhood and why all of them failed her. From a biological father known only through fragments, to a step-parenting experience defined by high control religion and mushrooms growing out of tower-block walls, Aiwan and Tamanda peel back the layers of what happens when the "protector" figure is absent, abusive or conditional. Together we dive into the complex world of Nigerian Pentecostal "Spiritual Fathers" and the moment a violent sermon in 2014 forced Aiwan to choose between her faith and her humanity. As she left home and chose homelessness to keep her self-worth intact. But this isn't just a story of absence. It’s a conversation about reclaiming the "missing story" and redefining what it means to be meaningfully present as a parent. Aiwan describes the father she never had, the caregiver dads she imagines for the next generation, and how her own experiences shape her own thinking about raising a child herself one day. 🎙️ In this episode:Status and Absent Fathers: How growing up fatherless on a council estate impacts a child’s sense of protectionThe Myth of the Presence: Why having multiple "father figures" can sometimes feel lonelier than having none at allThe Spiritual "Daddy": The power dynamics of the Nigerian Pentecostal church and the moment Aiwan left it all behindBreaking the Cycle: The intellectual and emotional work of building a parenting blueprint from scratchSaluting Dope Black Dads: A celebration of the Black fathers counteracting stereotypes with "soft discipline" and intentional love 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/6dRWI1PWnBc🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts🔁 Share this episode with someone healing their inner child or a father figure who understands that presence is the greatest gift of all.☕ Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/rigourandflowPlease rate, review and subscribe for weekly episodes.Connect with us on:TikTokInstagramLinkedInAiAi StudiosRoots & RigourThis is an AiAi Studios Production©AiAi Studios 2025 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.