When Trying Harder Backfires

Most of us have been taught that if something isn’t working, we need to try harder. A lot of the time, that’s good advice. But have you ever tried really hard to fall asleep? Or put so much pressure on a relationship that it started to feel strained? In this episode, I talk about what happens when effort turns into force. I share what martial arts taught me about unnecessary tension, a story from Alan Watts about holding on too tightly, and why happiness and creativity often show up when we give them some room. I also talk through three questions that can help you figure out whether to keep pushing or loosen your grip. Where in your life are you trying so hard to make something happen that you might be getting in its way?