When you want to want to make a big change... and shame is in the way

This week I'm talking about that mental place where you’re not quite ready to change something, but you’re not okay with things staying the same either. It's an in-between space I call the "want to want," and it's what this episode is about.We’re talking about shame, and how it differs from guilt (a distinction that matters more than most people realize). Shame makes a behavior feel like an identity, and convinces you that you’re not just doing something bad - you ARE bad. And that shame, with all of its loud and relentless bull$hit, is directly in the way of the change you’re wanting (or wanting to want).I use a lot of parts language (shoutout to Internal Family Systems), and walk through what’s actually happening when two very powerful parts of you are at total war. The truthiest truth is that both of them, even the one that feels like the villain, are just trying to keep you safe.The part of me that used to be most determined to do the thing that burned my life down again and again is the same part that gets me on this microphone every week. And I want you to re-purpose that badass part, too. First I want to show you that you can, and deserve to!If you’re feeling lost in the want-to-want forest right now, this one’s definitely for you. I promise you don't have to be there forever.Deep breaths! I love ya.Learn more at LizMcKean.com.You can also connect with me on Instagram @liz.mckean, or send me an email at [email protected].  I'd love to hear from you!All my love and gratitude for this podcast's beautiful cover design, created by the very best & most magical Mo Houston of JoyScout Studio And podcast production/editing masterfully done by Sean Gritters. You can reach Sean by emailing [email protected]