When Your Body Takes Over: Understanding the Somatic Response After Discovery (Season #1: Episode #9)

When Your Body Takes Over: Understanding the Somatic Response After Discovery In this powerful episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore what happens inside the body in the shocking moments and months following D-Day. Drawing from clinical research, somatic therapy, and lived experience, they explain why betrayed partners often feel rage, panic, numbness, dissociation, or complete shutdown—and why these reactions are normal, protective, and deeply physiological. MaryAnn and Dr. Skinner unpack the autonomic nervous system’s three instinctive responses—fight, flight, and freeze—and reframe them not as signs of “going crazy,” but as the body’s attempt to survive an emotional threat. They discuss how trauma is stored in the body, how healing occurs in waves, and how practices like titration, grounding, movement, and body awareness help gently release stored trauma. Listeners learn why behaviors that feel “out of character” (such as yelling, swearing, shutting down, or being unable to focus) are common after betrayal, and how anger often acts as a protective protest covering the deeper layers of grief and fear underneath. With compassion and clarity, the hosts offer tools for regulating overwhelming emotions, honoring the body’s pace, and finding glimmers of safety during chaos. They encourage listeners to use supportive relationships, healthy outlets, creativity, and somatic practices to slowly widen their window of tolerance and reconnect with their internal world. This episode is an essential guide for anyone trying to make sense of their body’s reactions after betrayal—and a reminder that healing requires patience, softness, and learning to listen inward. Resources Mentioned & Recommended Books & Theoretical Frameworks Deb Dana – Anchored and The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy (Understanding the autonomic nervous system, glimmers, and pathways to safety.) Dr. Stephen Porges – The Polyvagal Theory (Foundational neuroscience behind fight/flight/freeze responses.) Dr. Bessel van der Kolk – The Body Keeps the Score (How trauma is stored and released through the body.) Peter Levine – Waking the Tiger and Somatic Experiencing principles (Titration, pendulation, and body-based trauma healing.) Somatic Practices & Tools Tadasana (Mountain Pose) – A grounding posture used to regulate and reset the nervous system. Superman/Wonder Woman Pose – Posture-based confidence-building and nervous system shifting (Amy Cuddy research). Body scanning – Increasing awareness of where trauma, tension, or emotional energy is stored. Bilateral stimulation activities – Walking, swimming, chopping wood, or rhythmic creative movement. Related Human Intimacy Content Human Intimacy Podcast Episode #95 – Expanded discussion on somatic healing after trauma. Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal Online Course (In-depth assessments, body-based practices, reflective exercises, and guided healing modules.) Additional Supports Journaling prompts for emotional expression Safe support systems: friends, therapists, groups Creative outlets: cooking, music, art, writing Gentle physical practices: walking, yoga, swimming