When Your Mom Says She'll Change But Her Actions Say Otherwise [Ep. 36]

When Your Mom Says All the Right Things But Does the OppositeDoes your mom say "I want us to be close" but then criticizes every decision you make? Or agree to therapy but cancel at the last minute? In this episode, I explore the frustrating pattern of mothers who say all the right things about wanting to repair relationships, but whose actions tell a completely different story. From understanding why this disconnect happens (fear of vulnerability, lack of self-awareness, defensiveness) to recognizing specific red flags, I help you navigate the exhausting hope-and-disappointment cycle. You'll learn practical strategies for focusing on actions over words, setting measurable expectations, and protecting yourself emotionally while deciding how much energy to invest in someone whose intentions don't match their follow-through. I also answer a listener's question about a mother who keeps promising therapy but never commits to scheduling it.With this episode you'll be able to:Recognize the difference between good intentions and actual behavioral changeIdentify specific red flags when words don't match actions in mother relationships Break free from the exhausting hope-and-disappointment cycleSet specific, measurable expectations instead of accepting vague promisesCreate appropriate consequences for broken commitments without being punitiveProtect yourself emotionally while still remaining open to genuine changeKnow when to keep trying versus when to take a step back for your own wellbeingDon't forget that your worth is never tied to her behaviors, and you can heal and build fulfilling relationships even if your mom never becomes the person her words suggest she wants to be.Mentioned resources:Individual therapy options for personal healingStrategies for setting measurable behavioral expectationsGuidance on protecting emotional energy during relationship repair attemptsSupport for navigating the grief process of accepting limitationsHelp me reach more mothers and daughters by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & Spotify!Keyword tags:words vs actions, mother daughter relationships, false promises, hope and disappointment, mother wounds, accountability, behavioral change, emotional protection, Brittney Scott, relationship patterns, therapy resistance, broken commitmentsMentioned in this episode:Q2 '26 Ad