Whining vs. Asking and Refusal Skills with Donald Caven (& wine)

My first guest is my very own son, who was our family’s pioneer podcaster when he was in college. Donald Caven, who I called "Enzo" in my blog for ​ADDitude Magazine​, brings an interesting perspective to the work of his mother and grandmother. We talk about wine and whining, our house’s No Whining zone, his frustration with passive, manipulative asking, healthy communication cultures, our twisted rules on spanking, and much more. He also fixes Star Wars.The Winning Family: Where No One Has to Lose by Dr. Louise Hart & Kristen CavenChapter 8: Asking and Refused SkillsIn this chapter:* A clever metaphor from Pat Palmer’s The Mouse, the Monster and Me* Why asking is hard* How to ask without creating drama, residual negativity, or codependent behavior* Teaching kids to ask without whining* Special Needs kids and asking* Saying ‘No' is setting boundaries* Why saying ‘No’ is hard* How to say ‘No' to kids without threatening or scaring them* Saying ‘No' keeps kids safe* Not being able to say ‘No’ is gaslighting* 7 great ways to set limits with your kids—and teach them how to say no.Quotes from this chapter:“Assertive communication is direct communication.”“Asking increases your sense of self.”“Good teachers are intuitive but few are mind readers.”“Saying no can be the ultimate self-care.” —Claudia Black“Saying no, like braking on a bicycle, defines our boundaries—how far we will go and how close others can come to us.”“You don’t have to be mean to mean business.”“Teach your kids that the only thing that means ‘yes’ is the word yes, delivered with enthusiasm.”Get The Winning Family: Where No One Has to Lose wherever books are sold, and check our our other offerings at www.upliftpress.com and www.upliftprograms.com. And meet us on Clubhouse to talk about this chapter! Get full access to The Museletter at kristencaven.substack.com/subscribe