Who Are You Outside of the Roles Your Play

I’ve been sitting with this question lately: Who are you outside of the roles you’ve had to play? What do you say when someone asks, “Who are you?” Do you lead with “mother,” “caretaker,” “child of God,” “strong Black woman”?Do you find yourself naming all the things you do for everyone else… without naming you? Most of us have never been asked, “Who are you outside of the roles you’ve had to perform just to be accepted, or safe, or taken seriously?” And if we were asked, we wouldn’t even know where to begin. In this episode, Shirl reflects on a powerful video clip that cracked something open and got her asking herself that exact question. She talks about what happens when our identity gets built around survival, family expectations, and being the one who always holds it all together. And how slowly… silently… we start to disappear into the roles we’ve been praised for. Shirl also shares how this moment inspired the creation of her new storytelling series: 26 Black Women — a space to tell the truth about what being strong has cost us. If you’ve ever wondered who you are outside of who you’ve had to be, this one’s for you. Who Are You Outside of the Roles? Why the Question Still Hurts. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: Why the question “Who are you?” is harder than it seems How our stories are shaped by survival, not choice What it means to tell the truth beyond the roles we play Why Shirl created the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series A soft invitation to tell your truth — out loud Submit your story for the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7 Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?” Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.