"Who Gets the Kids?” Domestic Violence and the Courts

What is the impact of having children with an abusive partner? Do restraining orders apply to children? Will a history of abuse impact custody? In this episode of Unsilenced, Pat Barbarito, Esq. and Maria Lagattuta, LCSW explore the impact of domestic violence on children, particularly within the court system. In this episode, you’ll learn:How restraining orders impact children and parenting timeWhat to expect with custody and visitation in domestic violence casesHow children are affected psychologically, including trauma and split loyalties between parents Why preparation and support services are critical when navigating the legal systemWhether you’re a parent navigating an abusive relationship, a professional supporting families, or someone seeking to better understand the system, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and practical guidance. Most importantly, it reinforces a critical truth: abuse is never the victim’s fault and support is always available when you’re ready to reach out.Content:(0:00) Introduction(03:31) Restraining Orders & Separation(04:58) Visitation & Child Safety(06:00) Custody & Power Dynamics(07:43) Filing a Restraining Order(09:58) Preparing for Court(11:52) Who Is Protected & Legal Limits(14:21) Teen Dating Violence(16:21) The Impact on Children(20:01) Silence, Shame & Stigma(27:19) When Kids Become Caregivers(29:08) Blame, Loyalty & Conflict(31:10) Why Leaving Is So Hard(34:17) Recognizing Red Flags(43:18) Co-Parenting Challenges(51:45) About JBWS and ResourcesResources:JBWS' services: JBWS.org/services General resources:  jbws.org/resourcesIf you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 97.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnvIf you don’t live or work predominately inMorris County or Passaic County in New Jersey, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris