Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse

What is the impact of having children with an abusive partner? Do restraining orders apply to children? Will a history of abuse impact custody? In this episode of Unsilenced, Pat Barbarito, Esq. and Maria Lagattuta, LCSW explore the impact of domestic violence on children, particularly within the court system. In this episode, you’ll learn:How restraining orders impact children and parenting timeWhat to expect with custody and visitation in domestic violence casesHow children are affected psychologically, including trauma and split loyalties between parents Why preparation and support services are critical when navigating the legal systemWhether you’re a parent navigating an abusive relationship, a professional supporting families, or someone seeking to better understand the system, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and practical guidance. Most importantly, it reinforces a critical truth: abuse is never the victim’s fault and support is always available when you’re ready to reach out.Content:(0:00) Introduction(03:31) Restraining Orders & Separation(04:58) Visitation & Child Safety(06:00) Custody & Power Dynamics(07:43) Filing a Restraining Order(09:58) Preparing for Court(11:52) Who Is Protected & Legal Limits(14:21) Teen Dating Violence(16:21) The Impact on Children(20:01) Silence, Shame & Stigma(27:19) When Kids Become Caregivers(29:08) Blame, Loyalty & Conflict(31:10) Why Leaving Is So Hard(34:17) Recognizing Red Flags(43:18) Co-Parenting Challenges(51:45) About JBWS and ResourcesResources:JBWS' services: JBWS.org/services General resources:  jbws.org/resourcesIf you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 97.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnvIf you don’t live or work predominately inMorris County or Passaic County in New Jersey, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris  

What are healthy financial boundaries? How can you tell if someone is being generous versus attempting to control you? Financial abuse occurs in 99% of abusive relationships and can have devastating consequences. In this episode of Unsilenced, JBWS staff member Dani Meza explores:Signs of financial abuseHow financial control is a power method of controlThe difference between healthy financial partnership and controlling behaviorSubtle red flagsHow financial abuse can impact employment Questions to help you recognize if financial control is happening in your relationshipVideo Content:(0:00) Introduction(0:35) What is Financial Abuse?(2:05) Common Examples of Financial Control(3:34) How Financial Abuse Traps Survivors(5:13) Control vs. Healthy Financial Partnership(6:50) Child Support, Separation & Financial Manipulation(7:26) Real Patterns Survivors Experience(10:59) Career Sabotage & Employment Abuse(13:45) Subtle Signs: “Care” vs. Control(15:23) Questions to Identify Financial Abuse(17:03) Consequences, Manipulation & Power(18:22) Reclaiming Control & Final Thoughts(19:26) About JBWS & ResourcesAbout JBWS and Resources:JBWS’ services: jbws.org/servicesGeneral resources: jbws.org/resourcesIf you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 97.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv If you don’t live or work predominately inMorris County or Passaic County in New Jersey, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.orgIntro and outro music donated by Billy Morris  

How can you tell if your relationship is actually healthy? Can unhealthy things happen in healthy relationships? In this episode of Unsilenced, JBWS staff member Maddie Hahn explores: The 8 key elements of a healthy relationship The difference between healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationshipsGreen flags people should look for in relationshipsThe difference between boundaries and ultimatumsWhether unhealthy behaviors can exist in otherwise healthy relationshipsAnd so much more!Whether you're questioning your relationship or simply want to understand what healthy love should look like, this episode provides practical insights and helpful tools to learn more about healthy relationships. Video Content: (0:00) What Is a Healthy Relationship?(1:16) Green Flags in Healthy Relationships(2:15) Negotiation and Fairness in Relationships(4:28) Boundaries vs Ultimatums(10:50) Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationship Conflict(15:07) Trying to Change Your Partner(17:10) Keeping Your Identity in a Relationship(20:45) Trust and Support in Relationships(21:40) Privacy, Phones, and Location Sharing(22:15) Trust Issues and Past Relationship Trauma(26:50) Apologizing and Taking Responsibility(29:20) Can Relationships Recover From Dishonesty?(33:55) Shared Responsibility in Relationships(36:55) Financial Equality and Economic Partnership(41:10) Can Healthy Relationships Have Unhealthy Moments?(42:40) Unhealthy vs Abusive Relationships(48:40) About JBWS and Resources for SupportAbout JBWS and Resources:JBWS’ services: jbws.org/services General resources: jbws.org/resources If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 97.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnvIf you don’t live or work predominately inMorris County or Passaic County in New Jersey, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.orgIntro and outro music donated by Billy Morris  

Location sharing has become a normal part of relationships for many people but is it actually a red flag? Is it possible to share your location in a healthy way?  In this episode of Unsilenced, JBWS staff member Mary Jane McCarthy explores:When asking for someone’s location becomes controllingThe difference between safety-based sharing and coercive controlHow constant location tracking erodes trustWarning signs that location tracking is rooted in abuseHow location sharing can escalate into digital stalkingWhy refusing to share your location is not suspiciousFrom teens in new relationships to long-term couples navigating boundaries, we break down how location tracking impacts trust, autonomy, and privacy. You’ll learn how to identify red flags, set healthy boundaries around technology, and recognize when tracking becomes a tool of control rather than care.While location sharing can be used responsibly, it can also normalize monitoring, suspicion, and other forms of abuse.  CONTENT:(0:00) Introduction (1:32) Basics of Location Sharing(4:26) Is Location Sharing A Red Flag?(8:54) How Long Before You Check Location?(12:40) Expectation of Availability (19:06) Length of Relationship Matters(24:03) Signs Location Sharing is Rooted in Control(37:55) Not Sharing Location Is Not Suspicious (40:25) Constantly Checking Location Erodes Trust(42:08) Is Location Tracking Stalking? (47:19) Questions to Ask Before Location Sharing(51:20) About JBWS and Resources About JBWS and Resources:JBWS's Services: jbws.org/services General Resources: jbws.org/resourcesIf you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv If you don't live or work in either Morris or Passaic County, NJ please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

You're not going crazy. Gaslighting is designed to make you doubt your own perception of reality. It is frequently used in abusive relationships to keep the victim under an abusive partner's control. Dr. Danielle Graddick, a licensed clinical psychologist, joins this episode of Unsilenced to get into gaslighting. We explore these questions:What is gaslighting? What are signs of gaslighting?Can you gaslight someone unintentionally?What are examples of gaslighting?How can you respond to gaslighting?Why do people gaslight others?How can you trust yourself after gaslighting?And so much moreVideo Content(0:00) Introduction (1:48) Defining Gaslighting (2:49) Examples of Gaslighting (5:44) Common Gaslighting Phrases (7:19) Disagreeing Without Gaslighting(12:04) Can Gaslighting be Unintentional? (15:21) Why Do People Gaslight Others?(17:51) Is It Possible to Stop Gaslighting? (21:58) Recovering from Gaslighting (28:13) About JBWS & ResourcesAbout JBWS & Resources:JBWS's Services: Jbws.org/services General Resources: ⁠https://jbws.org/helpful-domestic-violence-information/⁠If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv ⁠If you don't live or work in either Morris or Passaic County, NJ please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

When a person decides to leave an abusive relationship, it marks a significant loss of control for their partner that can make the abuse escalate. Most domestic violence homicides and serious injuries occur when a person decides to leave an abusive relationship. That is why safety planning is crucial for all people experiencing abuse, even if you don’t plan on leaving immediately. In this episode, JBWS staff member Robin Hughes discusses:General tips to increase your safety How to deescalate an abusive situationInvolving children in safety planningStaying safe after you leave the relationshipAnd more CONTENT: (0:00) Introduction (2:08) What Is Safety Planning?(6:00) Preparing to Leave An Abusive Relationship (8:13) Signs You Need to Deescalate (10:08) How to Placate an Abusive Partner for Safety (14:20) Tips for Preparing to Leave An Abusive Relationship(18:32) "Where Do I Go Now?"(21:35) Staying Safe After Leaving (27:35) Document The Abuse (29:41) Ideas for Safety Planning (35:48) Safety Planning With A Restraining Order(39:35) Involving Children in Safety Planning(43:32) Weapons and Abuse (46:06) Recap on Tips for Staying Safe(51:44) Resources and About JBWS *Every person’s circumstance is different. This podcast is intended to offer general tips for safety planning, not to offer advice. Not every suggestion will be right for you. Call a domestic violence agency and speak with an advocate to develop your own safety plan. Resources and About JBWS: JBWS's Services: Jbws.org/services Morris County, NJ 24-Hour Helpline:1.877.782.2873Passaic County, NJ 24-Hour Helpline: 1.973.881.1450General Resources: https://jbws.org/helpful-domestic-violence-information/Ideas for Safety Planning:  https://jbws.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/Developing-a-Safety-Plan.pdfIf you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv If you don't live or work in either Morris or Passaic County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Choking your partner during sex is becoming increasingly common. People engage in breath play to enhance eroticism and sexual pleasure. But can sexual choking ever be a consensual act? Is it possible to consent to something that could kill you with the same force it takes to open a can of soda? CONTENT:Introduction (0:00)Choking vs. Strangulation (2:45)Can You Consent to Choking? (3:59)Dangers of Sexual Choking (5:34)Choking and Abusive Relationships (10:45)Defining Strangulation (16:21)Warning Signs of Medical Distress (22:35)Choking Puts Abuse Victims At Increased Risk of Death (25:34)Talking to Teens About Sexual Choking (28:46)BREATHE Protocol (34:24)Is Sexual Choking Abuse? (37:52)About JBWS & Resources (41:41)Resources and About JBWS:If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris or Passaic County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit jbws.org/servicesIf you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

It’s difficult to find common ground when you disagree with someone politically. Instead of taking the time to really listen to each other, we get caught up in arguments and proving our points. Too often, this leads us to focus on what divides us instead of what unities us. In this special episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse the New Jersey Senate Minority Leader, Anthony M. Bucco, spoke about the importance of bipartisanship as it relates to domestic violence. Since domestic violence is an issue that impacts all people, with no regard to their political affiliation, it requires a unified front to end abuse.  Content:(0:00) Introduction(2:17) Why Domestic Violence Should Matter to Republicansand Democrats (3:11) Conservative Values & Ending Domestic Violence (4:46) Polarization, Politics, & Abuse (7:08) Domestic Violence Legislation (11:02) A Message About Abuse (15:58) A Message from the New Jersey Coalition to EndDomestic Violence (19:55) About JBWS & Resources Resources:Find more resources about restraining orders: ⁠jbws.org/resourcesIf you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

The warnings signs of domestic violence aren't always easy to identify. There are subtle forms of abuse that you may not even notice. In this episode we answer your frequently asked questions about domestic violence including: What are the signs of domestic violence? Is it abuse if it’s only happened a few times? Did I cause my partner to abuse me? Can my partner be a good parent to our children but still be abusing me?Is it abuse even if they’ve never hit me? Can men experience domestic violence? And so much moreCONTENT:(0:00) Introduction (1:40) Signs of Domestic Violence (2:32) "You're Just Crazy" (4:29) Love Bombing and Abuse(5:51) Financial Control and Domestic Violence(7:10) Isolation and Domestic Violence(11:17) "It's Only Happened A Few Times" (15:15) Did I Cause The Abuse?(17:31) Is It Abuse If I've Never Been Hit? (19:00) Can They Be a Good Parent and Abusive?(22:10) How to Get Help(23:57) A Fight vs. Domestic Violence(25:40) Can Men Experience Abuse?(30:10) About JBWS & ResourcesResources:If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris or Passaic County, NJ JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

We’re not used to thinking about fighting with our partner in a healthy way, but it is possible to have fights with your partner, rooted in respect, that bring you closer together.  This episode explores:How to fight in a healthier way Signs of unhealthy fighting How to effectively take a break from arguments Feeling emotions versus acting on those emotionsChanging patterns of fights and arguments Tips to regulate your emotions, body, and mindAnd so much more!CONTENT:(0:00) Introduction (1:36) The Benefit of Disagreements (4:29) What is Healthy Fighting? (6:35) Elements of a Healthy Fight (10:49) Example of a Healthy Argument(14:58) Don't Try To Make Your Partner Feel Bad(20:17) Signs an Argument Is Becoming Unhealthy(21:34) How to Effectively Take a Break From Arguing (24:17) Change Takes Time, Don't Rush It(29:15) How To Take A Break, Step by Step (35:29) Feeling Emotions Versus Acting on Emotions(38:32) Regulating Physical, Emotional, and Mental Energy(45:57) Accountability and Behavior Change(48:06) Signs of Abuse in Arguments(53:04) About JBWS & ResourcesResources: If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris or Passaic County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

What are restraining orders? What can you get a restraining order for? Who can apply for a restraining order? What does the restraining order process look like? In this episode, we explore all facets of restraining orders. We cover the difference between a temporary restraining order and a final restraining order, the difference between a civil restraint and a restraining order, answer frequently asked questions and much more. Please note, this information applies to New Jersey law. If you are in another state or country it may be different. CONTENT:(0:00) Introduction (2:38) What is a Restraining Order? (4:37) Temporary vs. Final Restraining Orders(8:22) What is a Predicate Act? (9:58) Burden of Proof (12:13) What is Involved in Obtaining a Restraining Order(15:22) How Do You Get A Restraining Order?(18:43) What Can You Get A Restraining Order For? (23:30) Civil Restraint vs. Restraining Order(27:09) Advice for Seeking a Restraining Order(34:31) Prior Acts of Domestic Violence (37:12) FAQs (41:11) Violating a Restraining Order(43:20) Will the Defendant Know I Filed? (45:23) About JBWS & Resources Resources:Find more resources about restraining orders: ⁠jbws.org/resources If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Have you ever felt like you couldn't say no to someone? Were you ever encouraged to just give in to avoid embarrassing someone asking you on a date? Why do we prioritize the feelings of the person asking someone out and disregard the comfort of the person being asked? In this episode, we discuss why it’s so hard for us to say no and the importance of accepting no. Resources:⁠Learn how to express concern for people experiencing jbws.org/resources If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠ ⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠ If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

With the coverage surrounding Sean "Diddy" Combs trial, many people are questioning why Cassie Ventura didn't just leave Diddy. However, even asking this question demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of domestic violence. We felt it was critically important to re-release this episode of Unsilenced that explores why leaving an abusive relationship isn't that easy and how is the most dangerous time in a victim's life. Resources:Learn how to express concern for people experiencing abuse Learn how to express concern for people using abuse If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠ ⁠jbws.org/services⁠ If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ jbws.org/jcnv⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

How can you tell if a person is naturally passionate and expresses their affection through big displays of love versus someone who is using love bombing to gain power and control? In this episode of Unsilenced, Dr. Danielle Graddick explains the signs of love bombing, how it differs from loving relationships, and how love bombing intersects with domestic violence.  Content: (0:00) Introduction (1:35) Defining Love Bombing (3:00) Why is Love Bombing a Problem? (4:15) What is the Effect of Love Bombing? (7:57) Can Love Bombing Happen at Any Age?(8:52) Love Bombing and The Cycle of Violence (10:27) A Personal Experience with Love Bombing (14:17) Romantic Gestures vs. Love Bombing(20:04) Love Bombing and Social Media(24:44) Love Bombing, Abuse, and Isolation (26:53) Love Bombing? Or Genuine Interest? (30:00) About JBWS and Resources  Resources:If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠ jbws.org/services If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Love. Hope. Fear. These are the emotions that victims of abuse typically experience throughout the cycle of violence. There are three main phases: Tension Building, Explosion, and Loving & Contrite. In the tension building phase, victims may notice their partner's mood changes, their posture alters, or their tone shifts. This could make them feel like they're walking on eggshells until an explosion occurs. In the explosion phase, abuse escalates. Shouting gets louder, threats become more severe, and physical assault may occur. After the explosion phase, the person causing harm may promise to never hurt their partner again. They may apologize, start to act like they did in the beginning of the relationship, and be loving - until the cycle continues. CONTENT: (0:00) Introduction (2:20) Tension Building (7:34) Explosion (12:55) Loving and Contrite (18:35) Is it Abuse Without the Cycle of Violence?(20:18) Does Abuse Stop in the Loving and Contrite Phase? (26:23) About JBWS & Resources About JBWS & Resources The Cycle of Violence If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services.If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv.⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Do you ever have a right to tell your partner what they can and can’t do? Is it ever okay to threaten to leave a relationship if the other person doesn’t change a behavior you don’t like? Where is the line between communicating needs and exerting control over your partner? Power and control is at the heart of unhealthy relationships, but it’s not always easy to recognize. This episode analyzes all aspects of power and control so listeners can begin to recognize these signs in their relationships or their loved ones relationships. CONTENT: (0:00) Introduction (01:51) What Is Power and Control? (5:25) Coercion and Threats (10:02) Control & Threatening to Leave (12:31) Intimidation(22:23) Emotional Abuse (27:08) The Cycle of Violence (28:17) Isolation (35:05) Denying, Minimizing, and Blaming (42:54) Using Children to Maintain Control(45:32) Status Abuse(48:43) Financial Abuse (53:54) Equality in Relationships (54:46) Physical and Sexual Violence (55:58) Putting It All Together (1:00:28) About JBWS & Resources Power and Control Wheel Equality WheelWhat Does Emotional Abuse Look and Feel Like? Resources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Do you consider consent when brushing your hand against someone's back at the bar? Do you think about it before hugging someone who is in tears? Too often, we only think about consent in regards to sexual activity, but it's something we should consider daily.In this episode of Unsilenced, Maria Lagattuta explores:What consent looks like in all relationshipsHow victims of abuse frequently don't have much consent in their relationshipsHow nonconsensual activities can negatively impact victims of abuseHow people cannot consent to activities that could kill them, such as choking during sexAnd how people can practice noticing when something feels consensual to themCONTENT:(0:00) Introduction(1:30) Is Consent Always Sexual? (2:45) Nonsexual Forms of Consent(6:06) Emotional Consent(8:01) What Consent Does and Doesn't Look Like(10:00) The Lack of No Doesn't Mean Yes(11:23) Arousal Doesn't Mean Always Imply Consent (12:45) How Is Consent Used in Power and Control? (19:57) Learning to Recognize Consent in Yourself (21:53) Victims Don't Consent to Abuse (26:15) Can Choking During Sex Be Consensual? (34:46) Consent in Daily Life (40:29) About JBWS & Resources Resources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Imagine a woman who has endured emotional, physical, or sexual abuse for years. Her husband has isolated her from family and friends, restricted her finances, and harms her every day. If this woman then physically hurts her partner – is she seen as abusive? Dr. Lisa Young Larance is a pioneer in the field of antiviolence intervention with extensive experience working with women who have used abuse in their relationships. On this episode of Unsilenced, Dr. Young Larance examines:The issue with the victim-offender binaryExplains why programs designed for men who have used abuse will not work for women due to differences in socializationOffers insight into how society perceives victims of abuse who harm their partners And answers the question “Can Women Be Abusive?” Content: (0:00) Introduction (2:02) Avoiding Stereotypes and History(10:36) Why Programs for Men Won’t Work for Women(15:44) The Issue with the Victim Offender Binary(17:11) The “Lifetime” Victim(18:51) Fear vs. Dread(22:58) What is Coercive Control?(27:36) Women’s Socialization Vs. Men’s Socialization (29:07) Mandatory Arrest Laws(31:50) How Society Views Women Who Fight Back(36:07) Can Women Be Abusive? (39:18) About JBWS & Resources Find Dr. Young Larance's Book: Broken: Women’s Stories of Intimate and Institutional Harm and Repair by Dr. Lisa Young Larance Resources and Additional Information: ⁠Is Your Relationship Healthy? ⁠National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800.799.SAFE (7233).JBWS' 24-Hour Helpline: 1.877.782.2873 Support for those using abuse: jbws.org/jcnv *Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Abuse among teens can look different than our typical understanding of domestic violence. In this episode, Maddie Hahn, the manager of JBWS’ Dating Abuse Prevention Program, answers many questions about dating abuse for both teenagers and their parents or guardians. This episode covers: Location sharing, the expectation of constant communication, how we can model healthy relationships for teenagers, how bullies mimic dynamics of power and control we see in abuse, the importance of maintaining our relationship armor, and more. Maddie explains how parents or guardians can casually promote healthy relationships by encouraging discussions about media and pop culture. When these discussions do arise, Maddie offers suggestions on dos and donts for navigating the conversation.  Content: (0:00) Introduction (2:10) Can Abuse Happen In Teen Relationships?(7:48) Location Sharing (12:52) Constant Texting(16:50) Maintaining Relationship Armor(20:11) Warning Signs of Abuse (24:27) Dos and Donts for Talking to Teens about Relationships(31:27) Modeling Healthy Relationships (32:53) Bullies Use Power and Control(35:09) The Harm in Downplaying Teen Relationships(38:01) How Breaking Up Could Be Dangerous(40:18) Closing Remarks (43:22) About JBWS & Services Resources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Did you know that teenagers can experience dating abuse? Before reaching adulthood, 1 in 3 teenagers will experience some form of abuse by their partner. In this episode of Unsilenced, Shari Genser, Esq. will discuss what legal protections are in place for teenaged victims of abuse why victims sometimes drop restraining orders, how difficult it may be for teenagers to come forward about sexual abuse, and much more. *Please note: this is not to be used as legal guidance, please seek services if you want unique, individual legal advice.Resources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Handling the legal system can be difficult for victims of domestic violence. In this episode Shari Genser, Esq. offers insight into:Restraining orders and court processesThe difference between domestic violence and dating abuseThe role of power and control in abusive relationships*Please note: this is not to be used as legal guidance, please seek services if you want unique, individual legal advice.Resources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

It is critical to consider race when talking about domestic violence because there are unique barriers that Black victims face. Tamu King, CEO & Founder of The Changed Mind joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to talk about how: The "Strong Black Woman" stereotype feeds into the dehumanization of Black women and makes it harder for them to leave abusive relationships There is a stigma associated with domestic violence in the Black community that discourages victims from being honest about what they're experiencing This prejudicial belief that Black women are aggressive or angry makes them reluctant to involve law enforcement due to fear of being victimized themselves ⁠Find Tamu King's podcast here.⁠Content of the Podcast:(0:00) Introduction(05:27 ) Belief Black Women are Aggressive (10:25) Strong Black Woman Stereotype (16:04) Racism and Black Victims (22:06) Response to "I Don't See Color" (26:00) Stigma Associated with Domestic Violence (28:49) Breaking Through The Silence(35:26) Leaving Can Be Dangerous(42:11) About JBWS & Services Resources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Would seeing a cup of coffee terrify you? What if it was made exactly how you like it from that new café you just found? What if you found the cup of coffee in your car, still warm, with a nickname you haven’t used in years scrawled on the side? Julia Holtemeyer of the Stalking Awareness, Prevention and Resource Center (SPARC) joins this episode of Unsilenced to: Explore what constitutes stalking Share real-life examples of stalking - demonstrating why context is imperative to understanding the severity of threats Explain how dangerous stalking can be in an intimate partner relationship Contents:(0:00) Introduction (01:42) Definition of stalking(07:10) Retroactive fear(08:42) Examples of Stalking(09:13) Fear of a Coffee Cup (11:37) Fear of Flower Delivery(12:56) Fear of a Bottle Cap(14:02) Social and Professional Costs (15:28) Why Do People Stalk? (21:34) Stalking and Mental Health Issues(24:11) Stalking and Intimate Partner Relationships(30:50) About JBWS & Services About JBWS and Services:If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services.If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv. ⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris ABOUT SPARC:SPARC (Stalking Prevention, Awareness, & Resource Center) is a federally funded project providing education and resources about the crime of stalking. SPARC aims to enhance the response to stalking by educating the professionals tasked with keeping stalking victims safe and holding offenders accountable. To stay up-to-date on SPARC’s resources and offerings, follow us on social media (Facebook, Instagram, X/Twitter) @FollowUsLegally and/or subscribe to our quarterly newsletter. SPARC does not provide direct services to victims. We recommend that stalking victims work with a local victim advocate, and the Victim Connect hotline can help connect victims with one. Local victim advocates can help plan for safety, discuss legal options, and connect victims with additional services. Victim Connect can be contacted at https://victimconnect.org/ for online messaging and information, and by phone at 1-855-484-2846. Local domestic violence and sexual assault support services/organizations often work with stalking victims/survivors, even when those victimizations are not part of the stalking. Unfortunately, there are no hotlines and few support service organizations that specifically work with victims/survivors of stalking.The list below includes specific resources mentioned in the podcast and links to learn more about stalking: Short videos on a variety of topics around stalking, including the SLII framework, how stalking and DV intersect, and media portrayals of stalking Specific questions to help identify stalking SLII behaviors More information about how movies and TV portray stalking Dive deeper and learn more about stalking by watching/listening to a recorded webinar training Resources to help support loved ones being stalked  Guides, checklists, tools for professionals supporting stalking victims and holding offenders accountable (victim service providers, law enforcement, prosecutors, judges, corrections, campus professionals, and more) Sample log to help track stalking incidents Considerations for safety planning with stalking victims Free, online risk assessment tool for stalking Learn more about technology safety and privacy, including safety tips, information, and privacy strategies for survivors

Do you have questions about domestic violence that you want to ask but aren't sure if you should? A show on Netflix called You Can't Ask That encouraged people to anonymously ask victims taboo questions about domestic violence. JBWS volunteer Ninna Roco joins this episode of Unsilenced to discuss these controversial questions and provide insight into the dynamics of abuse. Resources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

"I don't like the way I've been treating my partner." To end domestic violence, we must normalize reflecting on our behavior and admitting when we make mistakes. Abusing your partner is a choice and there are tools, skills, programs, and services that can help people prevent these behaviors. Mary Jane McCarthy, JBWS' Professional Training Manager, joins this episode of Unsilenced to discuss societal perceptions about anger, coping methods for people using abuse, and how we must change the narrative around domestic violence.Content:(0:00) Introduction (2:20) Feeling Angry vs. Feeling Sad(4:29) Time Outs And Accountability Planning (10:14) Abuse Intervention Programs Keep Families Safer (15:08) Admitting When You Have Used Abuse(19:01) Home Should Be Peaceful(21:04) Not Tolerating Abusive Behavior (24:06) About JBWS & ResourcesResources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Why do people abuse their partners or family members? What could cause a person to inflict harm on people they love? These are questions that anyone familiar with domestic violence has likely contemplated at some point. However, there is no universal answer to these questions. Not all people who use abuse have the same life experiences. Some may be mimicking the dynamic of their parents while others may believe they must be in control to avoid being controlled. Sometimes people use abuse in their relationships because their belief systems allow it or because it benefits them in some way. Mary Jane McCarthy joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to discuss this question.Content:(0:00) Introduction(1:16) What Is The Jersey Center For Non-Violence(3:45) Why We Don't Use The Term "Abuser"(6:19) What Causes Someone To Abuse Their Partner? (12:53) Perceptions of People Who Use Abuse(16:48) Abuse and Remorse (21:54) Does Abuse Intervention Work?(33:08) Feeling Strong Emotions (34:50) About JBWS & ResourcesResources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

A common belief in society is that you "stay together for the kids" but how does this narrative impact victims of abuse? In this mini episode, Robin Hughes, JBWS' Crisis Response Team manager, discusses the challenges facing victims of abuse who have children. Find the full episode here. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Suicide. It’s a topic that many people are hesitant to discuss. They may worry that broaching the subject might give someone the idea to end their life or they may choose to stay silent because they simply don’t know how to talk about it. But suicide is a real risk, particularly for those struggling with domestic violence. Jessica Testa, LAC,  a counselor at JBWS, joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to explore the relationship between mental health issues and abuse, how to support someone struggling with suicidal thoughts, and the stigma around mental health issues. Contents of the Podcast:(0:00) Introduction (01:33) Abuse and Mental Health Issues(05:13) Power and Control Wheel(06:56) Domestic Violence Is a Risk factor for Suicide(10:31) Is It Okay To Talk About Suicide? (14:28) Shame and Mental Health Issues(17:39) Expressing Concern for a Suicidal Person(21:46) Ask If They're Considering Suicide (23:25) Levels of Suicidality(25:56) Protective Factors (30:20) Weaponizing Suicide in Abuse(37:21) About JBWS & Services *Please note, talking about suicide is not going to put a thought in someone’s head that isn’t already there. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. This episode discusses suicidal thoughts, dying my suicide, and other mental health issues, please consider if you're in a place to hear this content before listening. Find the Power and Control Wheel.About JBWS and Services: Resources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Twenty years ago, The Notebook debuted in theaters and people fell in love with the passionate, enduring relationship between Noah and Allie. Their intense, all-consuming devotion to each other shaped a generation's perception of true love. But is this a good thing or does it romanticize abusive behavior ? Should we find it sweet that he wrote daily letters to her for a year without receiving a reply? Is it romantic that he built a house for her, years after they broke up? Or do we just find it beautiful because Allie wanted to be with Noah? But what if she rejected him, what would their lives become? Mary Jane McCarthy, the professional training manager at JBWS, joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to discuss why these behaviors are problematic, the difference between obsession and love, and how media could damage a person's idea of what's healthy in a relationship. Content: (0:00) Introduction Resources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

The holidays can be an isolating, scary time for people experiencing abuse. Time off from work, the increase in substance use, financial strain, and the pressure to make happy holiday memories create a perfect storm for abuse. Robin Hughes, manager of JBWS' Crisis Response Team, joins this episode of Unsilenced to explore why abuse may escalate during the holidays and how to support a loved one that may be experiencing abuse. Content:(0:00) Introduction(1:39) Escalation of Abuse & Decrease In Calls For Help(7:32) Stressors That Contribute To Abuse(11:06) Alcohol Does Not Cause Abuse(15:00) Why "Getting It Right" Won't Stop The Abuse(18:13) Advice For People Experiencing Abuse (22:13) Safety Planning(24:50) The Isolation of Abuse During Holidays (29:18) About JBWS & ResourcesResources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Words hurt. Emotional abuse can damage a person's sense of identity, hurt their self-worth, and make them doubt their reality. However, because there are no physical signs of emotional abuse, it can be difficult to recognize. Sometimes abusive behavior can be masked as concern for your partner. "I don't think you should eat this meal, maybe get a salad instead" or "I don't think you should wear that outfit today, I don't trust the people you're going to see." It can be insidious and grow over time. Dr. Danielle Graddick, PsyD. joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to share tips for detecting emotional abuse, the physical manifestations of emotional abuse, and how minimization is used to control people experiencing abuse. Content:(0:00) Introduction (1:32) What Is Emotional Abuse? (6:17) Effect of Emotional Abuse on Your Body(8:31) Masking Abuse As Concern(11:29) Is Emotional Abuse "Real" Abuse?(16:22) What Does A Healthy Relationship Feel Like?(18:46) Are People Always Aware They're Being Emotionally Abusive?(23:36) Seeking Help for Emotional Abuse(29:24) When A Loved One Is Being Emotionally Abused(35:49) About JBWS & ResourcesResources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Abuse isn't always that easy to recognize. This concept is highlighted in Anna Kendrick's episode of Call Her Daddy where she explores how abuse is designed to make you question yourself. Maddie Hahn, the manager of JBWS' Dating Abuse Prevention Program, joins this episode of Unsilenced to discuss elements of Anna's episode of Call Her Daddy including the dynamics of abusive relationships, why conversations about warning signs are important, and how abuse can go unnoticed. Content:(0:00) Introduction (2:04) Abuse Doesn't Always Look The Same(3:50) Why Can Abuse Be Difficult to Recognize? (10:42) The Importance of Having A Therapist Who Understands Abuse(16:02) The Belief That Strong Women Can't Experience Abuse(18:00) How Abuse Makes You Doubt Reality (23:03) About JBWS & ResourcesResources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org ⁠Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Self-care is often portrayed as luxurious vacations, trips to the spa, or expensive meals out. However, these methods aren't always accessible to people experiencing abuse. Their partners may control their finances, their schedule, and their relationships. So, how can victims of abuse take care of themselves? Maria Lagattuta, director of JBWS' Morris Family Justice Center, joins this episode of Unsilenced to discuss how self-care can feel overwhelming and like just another responsibility. She explores how we must redefine self-care, focus on progress not perfection, and find small ways to look after ourselves. Because self-care doesn't always look like long baths and workouts at the gym. Sometimes it can be an extra sip of water, standing in the sunshine for a moment, or practicing kindness toward ourselves. Content: (0:00) Introduction (1:35) Why Self-Care Can Feel Exhausting (3:50) Is Self-Care Selfish?(6:29) Can Victims of Abuse Practice Self-Care?(10:14) Overcoming Barriers to Self-Care(11:53) Redefining Self-Care for People Experiencing Abuse(16:11) Self-Care & Empowerment (17:37) The Benefit of Self-Care(25:26) Making Self-Care Manageable (Baby Steps)(32:57) About JBWS & ResourcesResources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠ jbws.org Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Diddy and baby oil. Rhianna and Chris Brown. These are just some of the many costumes people wear for Halloween that minimize or glorify sexual assault and domestic violence. But what motivates a person to dress as a victim of abuse or a person who has caused harm in their relationship? Psychologist and JBWS board member, Dr. Danielle Graddick joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to explore why people dress as victims of violence and the effect it has on people experiencing abuse. Dr. Graddick touches upon a person's need to be seen, explores why these costumes typically depict violence against women, the anonymity associated with dressing up, and why people are reluctant to believe that their costume could actually cause harm to victims of abuse. Content:(0:00) Introduction(2:12) Why Do People Dress In Offensive Costumes? (5:16) Why Do People Dress Up As Victims of Domestic Violence? (8:27) Can Costumes Be Harmful? (12:27) The Role of Patriarchy (15:52) Dark Humor and Gen Z(20:47) What If You Have Worn An Offensive Costume?(22:40) Diddy and Baby Oil(30:06) About JBWS & ResourcesResources: If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠⁠If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠⁠ jbws.org Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

How does cultural identity impact a Hispanic victim’s journey to safety? Are there cultural messages about family, gender roles, and silence that can complicate leaving? How do language barriers make it difficult to access serivces? Members of the Morris County Organization for Hispanic Affairs (MCOHA) join this episode of Unsilenced to answer these questions. Content: (0:00) Introduction (1:34) How Culture Impacts Abuse(5:15) Abuse Has Been Normalized(7:08) There is a Stigma Associated with Abuse(9:08) Family Messaging About Abuse (14:57) Hispanic Women Are Taught to Neglect Their Needs(19:29) Gender Roles (22:01) The Effect of Machismo (24:24) Hispanic Male Victims of Abuse(25:37) Violence is Socially Acceptable(30:27) Challenging World Views (32:44) A Message to Victims (33:19) About MCOHA, JBWS, and Services About JBWS, MCOHA, Services, and Resources: To learn more about the Morris County Organization for Hispanic Affairs visit mcoha.org. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit jbws.org/services. Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnvIf you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit⁠ jbws.org Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Are jokes always harmless, especially if only one person is laughing? Fiorella Diaz, LSW, the director of housing and supportive services at JBWS, answers the question: "Is it a Joke? Or is it Abusive?" This episode discusses the issues with these pranks, the core tenants of non-harmful jokes, and how we can all do our part to help people impacted by domestic violence. Content:(0:00) Introduction (1:34) When Pranking Goes Too Far(3:45) Humiliation is a Form of Power and Control(7:17) How These Pranks Hurt (11:44) Good Humor is Consensual (14:54) Mean Jokes Aren't Funny(16:13) How Do You Respond to "It's Just A Joke"(20:25) How to Prank Your Partner Without Being Harmful(24:22) Final Thoughts(26:33) About JBWS & Services About JBWS, Services, and Resources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit jbws.org Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

If someone is being abused by their partner, wouldn't leaving the relationship be the easiest solution? This is a question that we hear frequently as a domestic violence agency. However, it's based on the assumption that it is easy to leave an abusive relationship and that leaving will automatically make the victim safer. Robin Hughes, manager of JBWS' Crisis Response Team, joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to talk about why it isn't that easy to "just leave" a relationship and how leaving is actually the most dangerous time in a victims life. Content: (0:00) Introduction (1:30) Why Won't Victims Just Leave(4:12) Shame and Self Blame (6:04) They Love Their Partner (8:08) Why Do Victims Go Back?(13:51) Forcing Someone to Leave Won't Work(21:55) Factors That Make Leaving Difficult (25:43) A Victims' Life Has to Change (28:14) Why Staying Isn't Always Best for the Kids(35:41) Leaving is the Most Dangerous Time (37:38) Final Thoughts (41:32) About JBWS & Resources About JBWS, Services, and Resources: If you are in an unhealthy relationship and live or work in Morris County, New Jersey then JBWS is here for you. Call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873. Deaf/Hard of Hearing: Text (973) 314-4192. If you do not live or work in Morris County but are experiencing abuse, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit https://www.thehotline.org/ for live chat and text options. If you recognize any abusive or controlling behaviors in yourself, then JBWS can help: jbws.org/jcnv or 973-539-7801Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit jbws.org.Intro and outro music created by Billy Morris!

Why does talking about abuse make us so uncomfortable? Is it difficult for us to think that our loved ones might be harming another person? Or maybe we don't how to talk to someone experiencing abuse. Either way, it can be difficult to have conversations about abuse but that is also exactly why we must start talking about it. In this first episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse, Diane Williams, the President and CEO of JBWS, explores why we don't talk about abuse, the shame that often accompanies experiencing abuse, and how we can start having these conversations. The only way we will be able to end abuse is by breaking this culture of silence. Domestic violence does not have to be a shameful secret. Content:(0:00) Introduction (2:08) What is Domestic Violence?(4:13) Who Experiences Abuse?(5:41) JBWS' History (8:33) How Does Domestic Violence Grow in Silence(15:25) How Can I Help A Friend Experiencing Abuse(18:06) Barriers to Seeking Assistance(25:02) Closing Thoughts(26:48) About JBWS & Services About JBWS, Services, and Resources: If you are in an unhealthy relationship and live or work in Morris County, New Jersey then JBWS is here for you. Call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873. Deaf/Hard of Hearing: Text (973) 314-4192. If you do not live or work in Morris County but are experiencing abuse, please call the National National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit https://www.thehotline.org/ for live chat and text options. Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit jbws.org.Intro and outro music created by Billy Morris!

Launching on October 1, 2024, Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is a podcast produced by JBWS that aims to end the culture of silence that surrounds domestic violence by increasing conversations about abuse. Through raw and unfiltered conversations with survivors of abuse, people who have used abuse, psychologists, social workers, and others impacted by domestic violence, this podcast intends to end the stigma associated with abuse. Guests speak candidly about abuse, societal perceptions of domestic violence, barriers to assistance, and how to reach out for help. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit jbws.org/services. If you don't live or work in Morris County, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).