Why Are We Fighting? Trauma & Turning Conflict into Connection

Ever walked away from a conversation thinking, "That's not what I meant at all—how did it blow up so fast?" On The Wellness Driven Life Show, April Chavez sits down with Dr. Patricia Timerman Barbosa da Silva—"Dr. T"—psychotherapist, author of Why Are We Fighting?, and founder of Advocate2Create. Drawing from her IAP Model—Intention, Action, Perception, which she calls a kind of "Google Translate" for communication—Dr. T helps couples, families, and individuals transform conflict into connection. Her work is shaped by a deeply personal story: immigrating to the U.S. at 14 without English, shifting from a planned medical career into psychotherapy, walking through suicide loss, and building a practice that serves grief, trauma survivors, and immigrants navigating legal evaluations. With over 12 years of experience, she offers research‑backed tools that honor both logic and the tender places inside us. In this episode, you'll explore: How the IAP Model explains why so many arguments aren't about the issue, but the gap between what we intend, what we do, and how it's perceived. Simple phrases and "pre‑ambles" that can de‑escalate tension and make it safer to say the hard thing. Why suicide grief feels so different from other losses—and how Dr. T learned to live and work after losing a close friend to suicide. The hidden emotional toll of immigration and starting over, and how trauma and identity loss can show up generations later. Practical, science‑informed strategies to build resilience after trauma and advocate for your needs without burning bridges. If you're tired of repeating the same fights—or anxious about hard conversations you need to have—this episode offers language, frameworks, and hope. Learn more about Dr. T & Advocate2Create: https://www.advocate2create.com. ​Hosted and executive produced by April Chavez: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aprilmchavez/ ​Video production by Manlee J. Chavez: https://www.linkedin.com/in/manleejchavez/ ​Music by Steve Stuntz: https://www.youtube.com/@stevestuntz9303 ​Driven Livin’: https://drivenlivin.comJoin the Drive Collective: https://drivenlivin.com/community 🔔 Join us Wednesdays at 6 PM PST for The Wellness Driven Life Show—your wellness evening reset blending science, story, and heart‑centered communication.​ The views expressed by guests on The Wellness Driven Life Show do not always reflect those of April Chavez or The Wellness Driven Life Show. For more details and a disclaimer, visit https://drivenlivin.com/guest-agreements. ​#TWDLS #DrivenLivin #DrPatriciaTimerman #IAPModel #WhyAreWeFighting #CommunicationSkills #ConflictToConnection #TraumaHealing #SuicideGrief #ImmigrationMentalHealth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices