Why Hockey Isn’t Your Identity (And What Is)

What happens when the game you’ve built your entire identity around suddenly ends? Former University of Minnesota defenseman Jake Parenteau knows that story intimately - and his journey from two Frozen Four appearances to post-hockey depression to becoming a mental performance coach offers powerful lessons for every athlete.In this episode of the Inner Athlete Podcast, host Hans Skulstad sits down with Jake to explore the mental side of high-level hockey, the dangerous trap of tying identity to performance, and the tools that transformed his approach to both athletics and life.You’ll discover:How Jake went from blaming others for lack of playing time to taking ownership and becoming a regular starterThe visualization techniques his father taught him that he now realizes were game-changersWhy his pregame routine never changed - even for national championship gamesThe depression that hit 3-4 years after his career ended and how therapy changed everythingHow he uses breath work and mindfulness to help today’s athletes stay present under pressureHis approach to coaching that builds relationships first, performance secondKey Moments:Early Career: From backyard pond hockey in Roseville to Alaska juniors to the U of MMental Struggles: The overwhelming transition to big-time college hockey and losing sight of who he wasFrozen Four Memories: That unforgettable North Dakota game with 0.06 seconds left on the clockIdentity Crisis: The years of depression after hockey ended and discovering he’d never learned to process emotionsCoaching Philosophy: Why relationships matter more than tactics, and how to push athletes without destroying confidencePractical Takeaways:The power of consistency in small daily habits for building inner beliefHow to separate your worth from your performance on the iceWhy “if you’re good enough, you’re gonna get seen” - and how to keep the fun in the gameBreath work techniques that help athletes stay present during training and competitionWhether you’re a player struggling with pressure, a parent supporting a young athlete, or a coach looking to build deeper connections with your team, Jake’s insights on mental fitness, identity, and finding purpose beyond the game will resonate long after the final buzzer.Connect with Jake: Best Shift Training, Plymouth, MNResources mentioned:Shine the Light (Paul Martin’s organization)Best Shift Training’s inclusive hockey cultureThe Inner Athlete Podcast explores mental fitness strategies for athletes at every level. Subscribe for more conversations on building championship mindsets both on and off the ice.💬 Follow Hans Skulstad and Center for Sports and the Mind:Facebook: ⁠⁠Center for Sports and the Mind⁠⁠Twitter/X: ⁠⁠@2ChallengeMind⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠@centerforsportsandmind⁠⁠YouTube: ⁠⁠Hans Skulstad⁠⁠Website: ⁠⁠https://hansskulstad.com