why letting go of your eating disorder feels like losing yourself | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 22

One of the biggest blocks in fully recovering from an eating disorder isn't the food. It's identity.In this episode I'm getting into something I've been circling around for a while but never done a full deep dive into — the way an eating disorder becomes a mask, a persona, a way of being seen in the world. And why letting go of it can feel terrifying even when you desperately want to.This one gets personal. We're going all the way back to a backwards baseball cap, through the eating disorder, and into what it's actually looked like for me to find out who I am without all of it.In This Episode:Why identity is one of the biggest blocks in full recoveryThe baseball cap story — and what it taught me about protection, power, and being seenWhat my ED behaviors were actually communicating to the worldWhy changing in recovery feels so exposing even when you want toThe labels we try on after the eating disorder — and why they don't fill the voidWhat it's looked like to find my identity at 31The "I am a person who" assignment — and how to use it yourselfWhat becomes possible when you stop trying to be who you think you should beTimestamps:0:00 Intro 1:00 Life update 3:00 Today's topic: identity and eating disorder recovery 6:00 The backwards baseball cap — my first identity story 10:00 What the hat was really about 13:00 When I outgrew the persona but felt trapped in it 15:00 How this connects to the eating disorder 17:00 What my ED behaviors communicated to the world 20:00 Power, safety, and why we reach for external identity 22:00 The mask the eating disorder becomes 24:00 Why changing feels so exposing in recovery 28:00 The identity void recovery leaves 30:00 What I've discovered about myself since turning 30 32:00 The "I am a person who" assignment 35:00 Identity neutrality 37:00 What becomes possible when the ED stops taking up space 39:00 Closing thoughtsResources:Recovery Skills Training: https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/The Quasi-Recovery Exit (apply before summer session!): https://recover-with-chloe.moxieapp.com/public/quasi-recovery-exit-applicationInstagram: @recoverwithchloe5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTubeKeywords/Tags: eating disorder identity, letting go of eating disorder, eating disorder recovery identity, who am I without my eating disorder, eating disorder persona, identity in ED recovery, recovered-ish podcast, chloe cox, ED recovery podcast, eating disorder therapist, quasi-recovery, identity and eating disorders, eating disorder masks, self-discovery recoveryResources + Connect with Me:Instagram: @recoverwithchloeRecovery Skills Training: use code PODCAST for $57 off!Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple PodcastsSubscribe on YouTube!