Why No One Brings a Casserole: Stigma, Shame, and Family Mental Health Support - with Dr. Michelle Sherman

In this episode of The Hanley Effect, Dr. John Dyben and Dr. Rachel Docekal sit down with renowned family psychologist Dr. Michelle Sherman, a clinical psychologist with more than 30 years of experience supporting families navigating addiction, mental illness, trauma, and PTSD. Named the American Psychological Association’s Family Psychologist of the Year (2022), Dr. Sherman shares both her professional expertise and personal lived experience as a family member impacted by mental illness, addiction, and loss.Together, they explore what families in crisis often feel but rarely say out loud: confusion, helplessness, worry, stigma, shame, and isolation, and why the healthcare system has historically missed a critical piece of the recovery puzzle: supporting the family system and, especially, the children.Dr. Sherman also highlights her long-standing collaboration with her mother, writing practical, workbook-style resources that help adults and teens feel less alone and more equipped to face the realities of living with a loved one’s mental illness or trauma history. The conversation closes with a powerful call to action: making it the norm, not the exception, to ask about a patient’s children and connect families with resources.Episode HighlightsWhy family work matters: How addiction and mental illness ripple through the entire family—and why treatment must address more than the identified patient.The “waiting room” wake-up call: What Dr. Sherman saw in VA hospital waiting rooms that sparked decades of family-focused programming and advocacy.The emotions families carry: Loneliness, fear, anger, grief, stigma, shame, and “Why won’t they just stop?”—and why these reactions are so common.The “casserole” difference: Why communities often show up for physical illness—but fall silent when the crisis is mental illness, addiction, or psychiatric hospitalization.Supporting kids impacted by addiction: Dr. Dyben and Dr. Docekal share how Hanley Center’s Children’s Family Program helps kids ages 7–12 understand addiction in developmentally appropriate ways—and learn it’s not their fault.Honesty without fear: How to talk to kids about family history, genetics, and risk in ways that empower rather than scare them.A gap in teen resources: Dr. Sherman explains why teens living with a parent’s mental illness or trauma are often “invisible” in the U.S. system—and what other countries are doing differently.Research + real-world impact: How even a small grant can launch meaningful change and why measurement and program evaluation matter in behavioral healthcare.Resources MentionedDr. Sherman’s website includes free family resources, handouts, activities, and more: seedsofhopebooks.comFeatured books discussed: Loving Someone with a Mental Illness or History of Trauma: Skills, Hope, and Strength for Your Journey I’m Not Alone: A Teen’s Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has a Mental Illness or History of TraumaTo learn more about Hanley’s Children's program, visit hanleyfoundation.org