Why We Stay: The Question Beneath ‘Making It Work’

What this episode covers

In couples therapy, we spend a lot of time asking how to make the relationship work.But there’s a quieter, often unspoken question that lives underneath it all:Why are we staying?In this episode, Clarinda explores the deeper layer beneath “making it work” - the hopes, fears, and grief that can quietly keep couples fighting for a relationship without fully understanding what’s holding them there.This isn’t about giving up on relationships, and it’s not about pushing couples toward a specific outcome. It’s about slowing down and getting honest about what keeps us connected, what we’re afraid to lose, and what it may be costing us to stay the same.Clarinda shares clinical insights from her work with couples, real-life relational patterns she sees again and again, and why understanding your “why” can change how you fight, repair, and show up - no matter where the relationship goes.Stay until the end of the episode, where Clarinda offers a reflective exercise for couples who feel stuck between staying, leaving, and everything in between.As always, take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

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