Why We're Attracted to People Who Are Mean to Us

Have you ever pursued the 'bad boy' over the 'nice guy'? The one with a bit of an edge, who you feel cares about you but also really...doesn't? If you have, it's no surprise: among other things, we're taught from a young age that the boys who bully us in school really like us, and we've popularized the enemies to lovers trope in the books, tv, and movies that we consume. So today, we're diving into how this relationship dynamic plays out as adults. We talk about why we tend to push people away who are overly affectionate and nice to us, whether it's *actually* too much or we've just gotten used to people being mean, when meanness goes from sexy to pathological, and how past relationships affect future ones. We also chat about the unconscious mind and attachment styles, the conflation of passion and anger, why we like relationships where we feel like we have to fix someone, and why in the end, nice people really shouldn't finish last.About Your Hosts: Beth is a licensed, Ph.D. clinical psychologist with 40+ years of experience treating patients of all ages. Joyce is a millennial just trying to figure it all out.Note:Advice and opinions on this show should not be considered as treatment. Please contact your healthcare provider if you are in need of individualized help.Other Stuff:Follow us on Instagram: @noyourenotdyingpodcastSubmit your topic ideas and questions here.