Why You Feel Like the “Problem” at Church

Have you ever felt like the “problem person” at church no matter how hard you tried?In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores what happens when churches unconsciously — or intentionally — scapegoat members instead of addressing dysfunction within the system itself.Tabitha also explains how church scapegoating mirrors coercive control dynamics often seen in abusive relationships — including denial, minimization, emotional punishment, social isolation, and rewriting reality.If you’ve ever:Felt spiritually unsafe in churchBeen labeled “divisive” for asking questionsLost community after speaking upExperienced church hurt after disclosing abuseFelt like leadership made you the problem instead of addressing real issues…this episode is for you.This conversation is honest, trauma-informed, compassionate, and deeply needed.Resources Mentioned:Transformational Topics Community - app.helloaudio.fm/feed/6907e1ce-23d2-4296-835e-5b478472f514/signupHealthy Relationships Online Course - Use code RESET24 for 80% off - https://taking-every-thought-captive.teachable.com/p/relationshipsWanna say hi? Send a text! At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/  This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive ControlWanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.comSubscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.