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Why You Keep Chasing People Who Keep Pulling Away episode artwork

Sep 20, 2026 10 min

Why You Keep Chasing People Who Keep Pulling Away

from Emotional Intelligence Developer Hosted by Emotional Intelligence Developer

Why is it that sometimes the person who gives you the least certainty becomes the person you think about the most? They message you, disappear, come back, and pull away again. You tell yourself you’re going to stop chasing them, but the moment they show interest, you’re emotionally invested all over again. In this episode of the Emotional Intelligence Developer Podcast, we explore why uncertainty can become so emotionally powerful, why inconsistent attention can keep you chasing someone, and why emotional intensity isn’t always the same as genuine connection. The deeper question is this: Are you chasing the person because the relationship is good for you, or because you desperately want to be chosen by them? We talk about consistency, attachment, uncertainty, self-awareness, emotional boundaries, mixed signals, and the importance of paying attention to patterns rather than promises. You can care about someone without chasing them. You can miss someone without contacting them. And sometimes letting go begins with asking yourself whether you actually want the relationship, or whether you simply want the feeling of finally being chosen.

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This episode was published on September 20, 2026.

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