Why You Snap at the People You Love — and How to Stop, With Anna Mathur

Have you ever completely lost your temper… and then immediately wondered, "What's wrong with me?"If you're finding yourself more irritable, more reactive, or snapping at the people you love in your 40s, you're not alone… and it may have far less to do with your personality than you think.This week, we're joined by psychotherapist, bestselling author and host of The Therapy Edit podcast, Anna Mathur, to unpack why so many women experience anger, overwhelm and rage during midlife. Together, we explore the hidden emotional load women carry, how perimenopause changes our stress response, why guilt keeps us stuck, and the small shifts that can help us feel like ourselves again.From learning the difference between anger and rage, to spotting the warning signs before you explode, repairing relationships after you've snapped, and finally giving yourself permission to rest without guilt… this conversation is filled with compassionate, practical tools every woman needs.If you've ever thought, "I don't recognise myself anymore," this episode is for you.Chapters00:00 | Why are we snapping at the people we love?02:08 | Anna's breaking point after motherhood & the pandemic05:48 | The shame every woman feels after losing her temper06:54 | Anger vs. rage: why they're not the same thing09:10 | The "boiling pot" analogy every woman needs10:42 | Amanda's shocking anger management story14:22 | The warning signs you're about to snap16:50 | Good girl conditioning & why women can't rest19:20 | Why rest feels so uncomfortable (and even selfish)23:56 | How perimenopause changes your brain's stress response26:21 | "I can't even be sick." The invisible mental load of motherhood28:35 | Why you have to stop waiting for permission to take care of yourself32:03 | Sleep, cortisol & why everything feels harder when you're exhausted35:04 | Your phone isn't helping you rest37:20 | What to do after you've snapped at someone you love41:34 | The repair technique every parent should know43:43 | When the problem isn't really about the dishes46:37 | Why burnout happens—and why some women can't stop until they crash49:36 | Two simple practices to start changing this week52:06 | Stop asking "What's wrong with me?"54:05 | Anna's new book: How to Stop Snapping at the People You LoveAbout your hosts:Jasmin Dhillon is an Integrated Health Strategist and Health Coach helping women in their 40s navigate gut health, hormones and nutrition.https://www.instagram.com/eat.with.jasminAmanda Lim is a Metabolic Health Coach focused on helping women build strength, confidence and long-term health.https://www.instagram.com/coachamandaSupport the podcast:If you enjoy these conversations, subscribe and share with someone who needs to hear this. You can also support the show by Buying Us a Coffee:https://buymeacoffee.com/thefortiesformulaThank you to our sponsors:Love Indus:Use code TFF for 21% offhttps://loveindus.com