All you toed welcome to another episode of Jesse Wilder's Guide to Life is Jesse this mother we're here to guide your life And we says frogs and toads he means frog the animal and toad from Mario Kart. Yes, correct Mario Kart That is what I have chosen to attribute toad to I mean what else would you say? I guess like he has his own game now Mario I think you'll ever get the battle toads game That's just instead of those big nasty frogs. It's toad from Mario.
Yeah, just toad in a bunch of like Gundam mech outfits Mm-hmm. What's the vibe like over there? Give me a vibe check for me personally? It's different.
I was I worked all day yesterday on a Saturday, which fucking sucked But I was a good boy and I finished all my work So now I didn't have to work on Sunday Which means I didn't want to do anything on Sunday and my beloved is out out and about doing chores around the house And I it's not very fair because the chore that I was doing yesterday had nothing to do with her or our shared space But I don't want to fucking do anymore chores as it turns out I did my little task get it I get it I just need a whole full day of rest and relaxation and reprieve if I do my little That is why you've chosen to speak to me about work conference. Yes, correct correct correct Which is in itself a little bit of a reprieve. It's more reprieve than work. I'll tell you that much right now Hey, how do you say it's just work trip doesn't have to be a conference per se?
Yeah, I guess cuz I did work trip But it was not work conference. Yeah, okay. I guess I guess work trip slash conference I to me the conference portion of it is sort of essential, but I get what you're saying you have not been to a work conference Is that correct? What kind of conference am I gonna go to?
I know yeah fucking freelance jerry's still just lining up and I don't know Here's the best way to pitch an editor. Yeah, here's SEO dude. I bet there that would be I guess the first thing on there Is SEO? Probably this is a good episode so far Well, you got to let it breathe bro.
Just relax. We're gonna get there the flame a little you're going on a work conference I I eventually yeah eventually I'm going on a work conference at least that's a legend actually I guess my none of my travel plans a book, but it's uh, it sounds like a good one Which is what inspired this one sure this here episode so location to me is key a destination is very quite lit because Somebody else paying for it. So like yeah everything rev paying for it all. Yeah, so that's the biz You want a destination away from home up until now the only the only work conferences.
I've been to are in Sacramento boy That's a very not quite lit, huh? Nothing. Yeah, that's not good. Can we do strategy?
Yeah, I want to say very not quite lit speaking of everything's paid for it Don't spend a bunch of money. I've never been able to pull this one off I feel like I go to these things even I've been on like press trips Which I guess is somewhat like a work conference except more fun It's like everything is paid for and yet I still managed to find a way to spend a bucket of money How do I do this? Why do I do this? Why must I do this right?
Okay? So spending a bunch of money is bad. You know what is let me tell you something that happened to me on this most recent work trip I went on they were like guys just if you have breakfast at the hotel or whatever charge it charge it it's fine We'll reimburse you put it in the expense form I Unfortunately am a little fat so and I had too big of a breakfast to be like yeah I had the eggs and a side of bacon and some fresh squeezed grape juice and a coffee and they said I was paying for it And they and they turned you down they said no fat so too much No, I did not give them the receipt for that. Wait, because you didn't even try no I ordered my breakfast and then after the trip They were like you could expense breakfast, but I was like no one's breakfast is gonna look like my breakfast Oh my god, you should have done it dude.
That whatever it was like a fifty something dollar break hotel breakfast good I thought I couldn't I was nervous but a strategy is for sure because this is like I'm horrible at this too fill out your dang reimbursement forms I this is such a fucking privilege I think I'm about to say but like for workshops You can often reimburse like everything and I get so working at the airport. Hello. I get so lazy about like I'm gonna keep every receipt and I'm gonna ask him to itemize it And then like you can't a lot of times like for at least for the trips that I be I be on you can't put alcohol on there The school district is not gonna pay for me to get drunk in the middle of the day during this conference I'm supposed to be paying attention at yeah So like then you have to be like can I get a separate check for the booze and so I'm just like fuck it But the sure the best strategy is like just do it feel like you're reimbursement for cuz I'm the same as you like you must I I also managed to spend a bunch of money when I shouldn't be I wouldn't even consider not feeling that yeah I just I don't I also live a life where I'm sending them this is different for me because I'm buying so much shit all the time that I'm like Weekly oh yeah, that is like probably what 25% of your job is filling out reimbursement for just like gutchers and fucking boy Am I always full human being with the life that I live when I get one of everything I'm gonna take one bite and throw in the trash Yeah, you're doing a lot to contribute to probably global warming let me tell you something that was Shireen I don't even know where this goes on this trip. We had a company uber Account you know what I mean like you can add your own personal shit and charge it to the comp baby that was sick I'm gonna say that is I Kind of think I think perks is a thing and company card don't just put company card baby Yeah, put it on the card god put it on the card so powerful Yeah, they opened a couple tabs for us like at the axe doing plays they open a tab which is unbelievable to me so tight Let me tell you what else is an obvious one sick hotel.
Yeah, so location you want the dankiest hotel I I think a two or maybe this is three you could tell me as far as location when the Thing is in your hotel when the conference or the event is in your hotel. It is very good three dude You think it's a three come on it's so easy. Yeah, but I kind of like I agree I agree, but then you're always in the same place whereas if you're in a cool Like if you're in New Orleans for example, I kind of don't mind if it's like oh, it's a it's a five-minute walk Okay, well all hit the streets. I'll grab a little coffee on my way in five minute walk is obviously Fine, that's about what it takes to walk from the lobby to have your room in a hotel Anyways, yeah, that's fair I mean I think when I've been to this one in Sacramento Our hotels usually like a 15 minute walk away from the convention center and sure that to me is like I get to you know It's like a little mini kick in the sights commute.
I take in the sights of downtown sec Hey, you know what no disrespect to sec. Yeah, I don't have a problem with it at all But it is not you got you got a character. There's not there's not sites though, you know, but yeah I know it's famously one of the most beautiful cities on earth Sacramento, California. Oh, yeah, okay Let me tell you this one time my beloved and I were on a vacation in beautiful Orlando, Florida Mm-hmm and we Stayed at this very very sick hotel kind of just balled out to contribute a little birthday trip And there was a company retreat happening there and we're at the pool one day and these pack of like drunk dudes Maybe four or five of them are like just john it up and then we hear them put it on the company card and we're like should we get in on This company.
Oh, man We chose not to much to our chagrin because we ended up seeing that this place must have been a hundred people at this hotel Like it would have been so easy to get in on somebody's company card. You know what I mean at the bar? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, put it on the company card and it's like who are you screwing over like Qualcomm or some fuck like who gives a shit?
Yeah, it's like yeah, some fucking suit on Wall Street, bro. You know, that's not me. Yeah fucking yeah Oh, yeah, I'll charge an extra fucking hundred bucks to like Cisco web services this multi-billion dollar company who gives a shit They bought me my time. I would have not been a hundred bucks, but we almost charge our whole dinner to that Um, we chose not to damn boy.
I would have loved it. What would you have done it? What would you have done? I don't think I would have done it, but it it the temptation brother was so strong It's so strong because I'm such a little baby.
I don't want anyone I would have such a fear of being moded like someone would come back and be like cool I know just leave your company pin or like your room number and they're like oh Actually, I don't want to use it anymore. I just remembered I have to go ship my If you it's also you could do that type of thing in Orlando I don't think crimes count in Florida the same as they do everywhere else. No, Florida is one big crime. It's a crime Yeah, it's a sort of a living crime a perpetual crime that whole state that's tight We've both been on like fairly recent vacations for Lando dude.
What do we fifty five years old? What's going on? We went to Universal Studios. Yeah, we hit the Disney parks didn't we?
I do I do want to go to Disney World. This is our podcast about what theme parks we want to go to yeah, okay? Work trip so you said retreat to me if I'm going on it That's I think of one. I really don't want to go to a retreat dude What do you mean rich like a camping thing like no just like inject so I'm looking at purpose right and like I've changed This to work like I did yeah, and I treat I don't like that.
Do you like that it's different because we're a remote company Yeah, it was basically so people could meet each other let me tell you what that was awkward Yeah, and I think that that's always gonna be it right is like over treat a specific like I think about the The episode of the office where they go on the boat like same deal It's like I already see all y'all in person or online doesn't matter I see all y'all with my regular time. I'm happy to go to this to New Orleans or wherever Austin fucking Maui I don't know I'm happy to go I'm not gonna complain but as far as like reasons to like hang out and bond with the people I work with I that's my least favorite one I think I mean would you rather be working I An off site is something that like Chelsea's company has done several times It's like we're gonna do work like what you said like we're gonna do work, but we're gonna do it in like I don't know some other fucking place It's a pass that's a pass that's gotta be one. I don't be one Yeah, that's a good point I mean I don't even think about that mostly it's just like man We came to this place so I could be inside like you said like be inside this hotel fucking plugging out my goddamn I don't know lesson plans or whatever with these like other people I don't know here's a here's a sick one for strategy and something that obviously I'm too stupid for because a couple people did this And I was like oh my god, that's a good idea. It was a Monday through a Thursday a bunch of people say to the weekend Yeah, of course, that's what I'm gonna do for this other one coming up is it's a it's a Thursday Friday Like they want me to stay for the weekend.
I don't know why I didn't think of that everyone's like you stay in It's okay coming and I was like why am I so stupid. Yeah, that is that is big dumb on your part Yes idiot Yeah strategy stay the weekend for sure and if you are organizing like a trip or a conference and you do that shit Like the one in Sacramento was often like a Monday Tuesday Wednesday get fucked Don't do that shit dude like that sucks because then I have to go back to work on a Thursday or a Wednesday stop it after a plane Yeah, no fucking spank you I Think this this varies greatly based on your job if you are some you work at a fucking Funeral home and you're off to like see all the latest coffins and you're at some kind of like the fucking dunderemifle and paper Conference like what that sucks see that's what most of mine are and I think it's a two because walking around a little booths and like What does that look like for teaching? Yeah, so with teaching here's like I'll tell you the conferences that I go to so I'm gonna say conferences to two Because the conferences that I go to There's like this big menu of different like talks and whatever so you get to select and you you go in and there's usually the exhibition hall Honestly, it's exactly like it's exactly like comic-con but instead of like hall H panels It's people that are like different It's like oh this one's gonna talk about using technology in the classroom with you know underperforming learners And this one's gonna talk about how to like apply for grants to get more supplies for your school. It's kind of like fine because so much of it is There's like a lot of more or less free time where you roll up with your squad and you're like alright We're gonna divide and conquer we're all gonna go to our different little things these three little talks or whatever We'll go to the keynote at the beginning of the day We'll have our complimentary breakfast and then we'll report back and so I just go and like pay half attention And then at dinner that night, I'm like oh word Here's a handout from this thing and meanwhile I was like playing games on my phone the whole time I was just like fucking angry birds in for two hours straight, which I don't mind It's just work sucks works sucks here I have one though that I think is a three that is work and I can't think of another example except for this specific one however Go on something that I have tried to do every year and I just haven't been able to swing it with my schedule I could be an AP grader to create AP exams and the thing about that is is they do it nationally Which means they fly you out to a different location every time so like sometimes it's in San Diego sometimes it's in Utah Sometimes it's in Arizona whatever and they fly you out and they pay you hourly while you work That is the life in it.
Yeah, I mean it sounds hard right because they're like I've talked to people have done it And they're like it is straight up like eight hours straight with like a 30 minute lunch and it's like kind of green Yeah, and it's you get so I feel that but man to get paid to have a free flight to like even something dumb like Sedona, you know and then like where shout out to Sedona. I don't maybe it's not dumb. I've never been a donut Arizona Yeah, dude people loves Sedona, okay, well the shout out Sedona And it's like or like Albuquerque or whatever. I you're gonna pay me to be there and you're gonna buy my flights And all I gotta do is like say work for eight hours and then at night I could just get froggy as hell yeah I didn't get froggy and but kurky and I hear Apparently and this is like gonna be on here somewhere that is one where the teachers get fucking freaky once the lights go out Because they are just like to do they got all that energy they got yeah There's a hundred goddamn essays an hour and they're just like like I met this one lady And she was telling me about it And she was like yeah last year there were so many essays that use Frankenstein as an example that me and the person I kind of palmed up with while we were there on the last night We went and got tattoos that had Frankenstein quotes like Jesus Christ yeah, that is that's what's up They should make a movie about a teacher's conference at hand.
Yeah, just get the studios. Yeah TM though That's ours. We're gonna do that one so somebody else do something else that one's ours I like to slide into Warner Brothers DMS and just say like movie idea colon Yeah a bunch of just good ideas that I have no kind of necessary really funny teachers boom yeah funny teachers conference I mean I think like another business trip But that someone that neither of us would ever do is like a sales trip right like somebody is you're going to like pitch the each people on the road Yeah, and that's like a probably a one-some because you could come back fully empty-handed that is like a your trip is either awesome Or is the worst thing there is you know, it's a shitty work trip I don't know you're fucking in the FBI and you're hunting some serial killer and you're like hey We're going to Boise Idaho right now. Yeah sure Yeah, the FBI agent that's like the entire that's all of the X files.
That's the entire show So the X files trip is no good How about in TV shows and movies when people like Dexter Morgan for example is like they roll up to the boss I'm only really thinking about now how fucking crazy this is they roll up and they're like hey There's this conference for some kind of spatula that I work with in Jackson City Can I go and they're like fine whatever it's giving your receipts? Yeah, dude. Is that joke? No, we can teachers do that shit all the time?
I've literally done I just be like yo, I want to go to this conference and they're like fine We'll pay for it Yes, baby I've done it before and and Chelsea's a master of that Chelsea's gone to someone's that we're like it costs like $6,000 to get into What the fuck? Yeah, baby, that's the life damn there's like a big star looking up conferences, dude There is a nasty amount of teachers conferences and I'm constantly got my eye on like the National English teachers Conference, but I only want to go there in cool places like a lot of times. It's just like I don't need to go This one's in San Jose like I could just go to San Jose. That's nothing to me.
I like I cannot stress this enough for purpose The reason you are there is because it's a field trip like it doesn't matter if you're working or you're not working or whatever You're there because it's fun. Yeah, not because you're like so ramped to like get all this sick stuff like I don't give a shit about I get something from the conferences, but I would say 10% of it is what happens at the conference and 90% of me See and teachers get freaky nasty at the hotel bar. Let's talk about after dude. Yes down.
What's going down? Yeah, I mean Obviously you got to get froggy nasty. Yeah, it's after is is like extracurricular is that a whole different category? Yeah after witnessing any amount of romance between like coworkers not participating But that is obviously a three love to see that.
Yes. Do you want you want Bezos there? No boss man? You got to stay in your room.
Unfortunately, you're locked up. Yeah boss boss is gone This is just a two because it's just one ends but like take advantage. You're standing a hotel, baby Take advantage go get in the hot tub go fucking go to the cheese burger in your fucking bed. Yeah, dude Or room service.
Oh wait tell I mean this a whole we did a episode of hotels, but like you must disrespect the room extracurricular I'll tell you one talking about the conference or the trip like talking about the purpose I don't care to hear what you thought was cool or not cool or whatever we did axe throwing which is it too? Yeah, I see that to me. I think it too. That was a team Oh, I think just maybe team building exactly right team activities because like you guys didn't do that of your own volition That was like hey guess what we put it.
You know what's across the street? David Buster's Dave and Buster's is honestly to me in that specific instance. That's a three. I'm fuck.
I'll fuck with it Of course. Yeah, I was like oh, so this is our team building activity across the street from the David Buster's got it I don't love it. David Buster's usually is kind of pricey like you get a mixed crowd But if it's me in a bunch of freak-ass teachers or like my coworkers Yeah, yeah, I've beaten their ass and pop a shot and whack them all and shit Absolutely, I have an absolutely horrible thing that happened to be out of work conference that I I don't know where to put it But it is about a negative one so I my first year as a teacher. I got hired and I got This is like I was like 23 years old or whatever 24 years old However, well, I was when I got hired and I I started teaching this program right away and there was a conference for this program and the principal Vice principal was like we go to this conference every year was the one in Sacramento and we'd really like you come and I was like great Sign me up so they signed me up and we get a little bit closer and the vice principal that's going who I'm very cool with and like still to this day pretty cool with Like he's like so it's a really big conference and there's not Any more hotel space in our hotel and I was like oh well I can stick my dad lives in like 40 minutes from sack like I can do that and he was like well No, my room has two beds.
Why don't you stay in there? Oh god? Oh god? No, no, you mustn't share a room You mustn't share a room.
So I shared a room with the boss man. Oh my lord share room with a boss man Bro, you out of your fucking gourd Just and I don't even work there for like at that point I don't know three months. So I'm just taking dukes of the same room with this dude. Oh, man I would have fucking bought myself a hotel.
I Mean again, this is me is like a 23 or 24 year old. I don't want to say no to anything I'm just like yeah sure that seems normal and good in hindsight. It's just like what Yeah, that's such a no. That's like worse than very not quite well.
That's a demerit, bro That is yikes. Yeah, it was the only if you're in a work trip Like that bullshit AP thing you're just talking about the only solace I would take is like my own space right right right and if I'm Sharing a room let alone with boss man. Oh, yeah, it was tough. It was tough stuff But I you know I didn't again that I live like a little slob at that point anyways, and I was like yeah, whatever hotel room cool Yeah, doesn't everyone live like this?
Yeah, isn't it? Yeah, this must be no. I mean honestly was the first work conference ever went to I was like yeah, this is probably regular like when we went to comic con we slept about nine nine ten people in one little room I was like, yeah, this is just the vibe That is true, but those are your friends. No, right.
I'm not justifying it now. It is horrible But that's like in my brain. I was like, yeah, of course. Why wouldn't we save some money cool?
We're going to the same place anyways, that's fine And then just like getting ready for bed. It was just like huh do I take my shirt off in front of my boss or oh no What's the vibe here? It's not that vibe. Yeah, it wasn't the whole as far as vibes go couldn't have been much worse I got a dirty little secret this episode, bro.
Oh, dude hit me Railing some TJ chocolate wafers and peanut butter dip. Oh, yeah, you love those you sent me those Yeah, I have them. Yep. I gotta give them.
All right. It's gotta be the next TJ tree perks The the continental like the sometimes the conference itself will provide a breakfast or a meal or a meal That's it's a two to me like it's never incredible. It's never the best meal you could give that city But I do love the fact that I could just roll down and it's like oh little a little omelet bar Don't mind if I do little potatoes a little bit some gravy. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you I'm gonna tell you something I experienced that our work trip we come down in the morning for our day of presentations and slideshows and Powerpoints and we're having a lovely breakfast delicious coffee everyone's drinking coffee. I was cranking that coffee You know, I mean everyone got their bean juice dude big time big time big time big time I'm gonna power passes and it is time for the presentations, but first every day last person I just run up to that room real quick. Yeah, take one quick shitter.
Yeah, and everyone's like oh, I just like I'm gonna just grab like a sweatshirt Like every single person yeah one quick pop up Oh, man. Oh, damn. Yeah, that's tough. That is a tough one But that's a very huge bonus for having the conference in the hotel that you're yeah That's a fact that's a fact is when it's time for a Duke you just go to the room literally That's like sometimes it's like I'm gonna bring my laptop like I'll bring it and if I don't need it I'll just run it back up here.
You know I'm saying that is a nice thing. No, it's true That's very true this one in Palm Springs that I'm looking to go to it is at the hotel, which is great Take a fucking dip in between little sessions. No problem. Take a dip is three Yeah, I mean that's that to be is like take advantage of hotels for extracurricular, but I'll give it a bonus point take a little dip I Think a perk that is either a one or a two is like every one of these honestly It's a one every one of these conferences has their little swag bag They make this joke in in the office as well and it always just fucking the shit that I get fucking stinks It's like a pen mug a pen.
Oh my god a coffee mug would have dreamed that would be no It's like a shitty clicky pen with the conference's name on it It's a bag might not even be a reusable bag that they put all the shit in and then often it is just so much like Advertisements like again not to just keep comparing it although the it is weirdly similar It's like the fucking grab bag they give you when you walk into comic-con and it's like there's like a pin or something cool in there And then everything else is like no this this is a flyer for a Batman movie that I've already seen a hundred ads for I don't know this is not anything to me So to me this wag is like I guess it's a it's a two because you could just throw it away or whatever It's not like completely useless, but fuck it's not that type. I think That about swag in general. I would agree for the most part like every once in a while like I said you get a nice like Sometimes somebody'll sneak in like an enamel pin and I'm like alright. Yeah, why not that's a that's pretty fly the thing about good swag is It's probably something you have like I and you don't need I gotta what is by all means a great swag bag like there was a Amal food court or something that opened in LA during covid and the PR people like sent little goody bags to some media And it was like when I was like a pint glass and what I was like a t-shirt and that's all good shit It's like great now I put this pint glass in my already full to burst in cabinet We've been throw we've been like full disclosure baby over here in this house.
We believe in science and also we throw away fucking pint glasses It's too many. There's too many I can't God What I'm gonna do like I just feel bad bro. I still got our fucking as a beer week from our birthday that one time I don't want it. I never drink out of it.
That one at least is like fancy. You could pour a nice can of like a sissama You ever pour a nice beer into that yes, I do because that's that's my fancy beer cup Which is why I don't need a fucking pint glass that just has branding from some brewery I went to one time you don't want a pint glass that says Glendora public market on it. Oh my god No, dude, they can't we I have a t-shirt from a ramen shop But I don't even like but it's so soft we at the most recent trash bros which hey trash bros Oakland We're now at the telegraph your garden last Thursday of every month. I think check it out They give us about promotion alright.
This is to me ring your fucking Rash bros into this sorry brother serious podcast has nothing to do with us We had laughing monk the brewery as a like a rep there like sponsoring the show kind of and at one point He brought up this box and it was like 30 pint glasses He was like give these out to whoever wants them and like by all means good pint glass It's got the logo on it. They're logos pretty cool. It does say give it away We had that box open we're like whoever wants to take it baby There may be ten of them got taken I mean people just don't need pint glasses. We are at max capacity I think across the board no I see I've had this problem to where I feel like I've had the opportunity for this really I wanted to buy one when they're on sale, but probably you're just not going home You might be out on a night of drinking we could hold a pint glass on me.
Yeah, that's a fair point too There's been so many times I want to buy some shit like that. Well, I got guess what I have a laughing one Plank class with your fucking name on it brother. No one I'm trying to swag is what a nuisance? I think it's a two it's a two because like again the worst possible thing that happens is you fucking throw it Directly the garbage was what I do.
I feel dude I'm a you know that my father is a hoarder and I to have become a hoarder so like I can't throw things away It's tough. It's tough especially yeah, it's tough. Especially if there's a real use to him It's easy for me to throw away all the fucking advertisements to like I don't know charter schools or whatever the fuck I'm getting but yeah, if you're getting like real stuff like a t-shirt It is tough my mom gave me a t-shirt that she was left over from one of her police events and I'm it's the same deal Where I'm like well, I don't want to clothing. I don't want to throw it away people need this but I don't I got so many t-shirts already This this crack in the rotation is unlikely.
What happens after dark to the extracurricular? I mean the I told the story about the ladies getting tattoos that to me is like a two or a one But it is wild as hell. It's sick. I like it.
That's fucking metal dude That's like real that's some people try and act like they're fucking real English teacher English teachers That's the real dish it show me your fucking first line of Moby dick tat or whatever because you were at the AP conference is grinding Yeah, they got like on their lower back. It says it was the best of times. It was the worst of time. Yeah, baby I got call me ish mail in like old English font above my belly button, you know one hand says call me the other And says ish mail and they goes that for Moby dick and I say I got a white whale for you.
Oh Dude, this is I like this guy. He got Jesse dice Kalei in the house, baby. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, fuck.
Yeah What do you how much time you want to spend with your co-workers? Because you don't have any like but what's the alternative good at dinner by yourself here? Yeah, okay I actually this is a good question extracurriculars I think spending time with co-workers is a two because like you get good stuff from them in in terms of like You learn all these things where they're like you because you're talking more than you've ever talked before about shit It's not work. So you're sitting there like at whatever restaurant you all decided to go to or you're at the hotel restaurant or whatever And this person starts talking about how they were like in a car accident and save somebody's life or something You're like whoa, I thought you were just some old math teacher.
That's tight. Yeah for sure Let me tell you the ideal which I did which is I had a friend that lives there shout out to my former podcast co-host Anna Go-kresty wasn't New Orleans so like we were there and I was like I'm just gonna go hang out with my friend who lives here now Oh, yeah, that's great. Uh as far as location a convention center to me is a two. It's fine Yeah, I don't like those places giving me such anxiety.
Yeah, they're not great But but for it but not but I feel like you're thinking specifically of comic-con We're is like just honestly big play. It's the same situation with malls for me Where it's like I have this thing with those types of huge buildings where once I've done my thing and I'm ready to leave That can't happen fast enough and like sure the journey to the exit is terrible for me Yes, but I like that. It's uh, I like that. It's like all in one place I don't have to worry about kind of the same argument for having it at the hotel I don't have to worry about like bouncing around to different locations like no We're just at the convention center when we're about travel to a third third location or something weird I Location that's for me specifically and maybe this I get I don't know if this goes to location or goes to extracurricular, but A place where you can gamble is a good place for me to that is a good place for you because you have a gambling addiction Yeah, but I mean like there's a lot of conventions happen in Vegas.
I went to how about this one New Orleans you can gamble Yeah, I think that's that it's good because it's a sin that you can't commit in your own place. You know what I mean? Yeah a place with regional sin. I'm gonna put it too.
Yeah regional sins are great Like you go to st. Louis to eat a bagel the way they serve it. Yes covered in mud I have a dumb thing that I did I don't know if it goes anywhere on here, but my mom went to a Conference in Baltimore and I was like oh that's like right next to DC and Chelsea and I fuck with DC heavy And it's a three a weekend. I'll meet you there and I went and fucked around at this conference I stayed at the hotel.
Oh, but then when my mom was like I'm gonna go to the sessions or whatever I was like tight we're gonna go not that we went caught an Orioles game I sort of got to take advantage of some of the perks right now is sick Yeah, because like when my mom went to get the you know the the breakfast that gets caught Oh, what am I not sitting down there with her for breakfast of course of course So I mean that's a bonus point is attending without attending Well, all the person out of the works, you know, man, um, Breach, um, what about strap what other strat we got? I Think a good strategy is just but it's so tough because especially for you and I couple little fucking rules boys So maybe this is a two Hooky at that conference if you're if it's like Possible I would have a fucking panic attack. You know, I hate breaking the rules. I know dude me too But if you get away with it, what I know it's gotta be a two it's gotta be a two I would have fun though I whatever I was doing instead.
I would be like fuck I'm gonna get caught I would be an anxious fucking wreck. Okay. I got one I got one better for you then skipping a session I'm gonna say is it too because for some people who aren't big we needs it's probably wrong But I have one like twice about this. I have one that I think you and I could get down with I know I could the Show up late or leave early from a session.
What do you think about that? Correct. We had a three hour long class and would leave my apartment 20 minutes after it started. Yes, that is exactly a class in like a big lecture hall What was that class we had like a huge lecture hall?
Yeah, that's the one I you would come to my apartment I don't even know what that class is what was the one where the author showed up So it was like you were supposed to read the book the week Author showed up. We did not read a single one of those books Whoa, I would just come to my house and we would have some drinks and then leave it was like a six o'clock class We would leave for it at six thirty yeah I don't know what this goes in. This is I don't know. This is not strategy It's something like that, but like it's a perk huge company, right?
The more the merrier the more invisible you can be the better Yes, yes, yes Like that whatever that fucking company was we saw in Orlando like that was we a one-pointer dinner The lobby was just full of all these people just getting litty at the bar like this company tab was huge Yeah, I think that's awesome or like again like a big conference where it's people from all over You know this is sales conference for all you know sales companies in the fucking northeast or whatever like those are same thing A strategy that I think is a two but making making friends with someone you'll never see again. We've got that That's a two obviously yeah, you chum up with this person Maybe on the first day you have a couple other sessions where you see them or maybe catch them in the breakfast line Oh look at this guy who let you in here blah blah blah blah blah and then you never this guy I don't know you could moonwalk brother. Mm-hmm. Oh, this is the guy that did the fucking worm last night at the country western bar Holy shit, yeah, and he's like oh god.
What else did I do? I don't remember? Yeah, it's like don't worry brother You're safe with me your new friend Obviously a core Purpose of the work trip is to find a way to not do your work like every single day on Earth is yeah And every day on Earth is about that a classic thing that you do any time, but that works particularly well on the work trip Is you do or say one really good thing? Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, you're like oh my god You guys I went to this session where they talked about inverted grading when he explained it to you explain it to him Everyone's like whoa, that's crazy. You don't do another fucking thing for the next three days. It's awesome. Yeah, dude That's great strategy out of there.
You got it. This is another just kind of like hotel thing bring bring something for downtime Maybe bring make sure you got a good game loaded on your phone or a book or something There's so much fucking downtime at these things. We're just like well We finished lunch and we got 20 minutes. So yeah, I had we had them for arrival day Most people arrived in New Orleans in between the hours of five and six p.m.
Do you know when I arrived in New Orleans? No nine Thirty in the morning. Okay. I don't hate that actually the room was not ready for me yet.
Yeah, of course Of course of course of course of course so I had a lot of downtime I went to a bar and a oyster's and got a little drunk I and of course was too much of a coward to expense that but Yeah, probably so I like that I think I think a very good strategy is show up early like to the whole thing Yeah, and and stay late we already said stay late but like take some you time Yeah, and you get a lay if you show early get a lay at a little bit You get to be the guy who's like when they come in you're already in the lobby and they walk in there And you're like oh actually that's a bathroom. They're over there already I already Know I was sick that is to like already know where all the bathrooms are Actually pissed at every toilet on the first floor. Yeah, dude. I tested them all The best bathroom number two is down there right hallway and then on the third floor that you're gonna want it Yep past the coffee cart don't go too far because that's the staff entrance I check that out you've created is so sick The good elevators.
Yeah Already knows where the bathrooms are me personally I'm a stairs guy I love the stairs got to get my wad in but the elevators if you take the second one that's the best one that one moves fast Yeah Sucks I Do not want to meet anyone who's only been in the hotel for like an hour longer than me and is fucking bragging about how much Hot shot I have an interesting strategy and I don't know if you're too big of a coward to do this one But this one actually even me a big weenie I feel comfortable doing you find yourself in these places and you're meeting all these people That you'll never you'll never meet again, right? And a lot of times your interactions are 30 seconds You sit down at a table. Hey like for me personally, it's like hey, oh, what do you teach? Oh, that's cool Where do you teach at?
Oh nice? How is it down there cool? And that's the whole interaction So something that I that I like to do I do a little character. I do a little lie don't I I yes, obviously you put even three sips of a corona in me and I'm Italian I teach you biology.
No, I'm not doing accents. I'm not Where do you teach a france no the buffet has pizza and you're like mama Mia. Just remind me of a home Yeah, mancha mancha everybody bon appetito. It's like this is the baro.
Yeah. Oh fuck Yeah, so I little lie is great to me now a badge will fuck this up. You got to make sure folks if you're doing this you don't have your badge Presented I'll tell you that's a strategy hide your badge. I don't need people know in my fucking name and location.
No, thank you They could be and guess what? They're not because I looked at another person's name on a badge in your whole life I have cuz like if I'm sitting at a circular table and I start to zone out But one of the first you do is just read whatever my eyes I Yeah, that's fine But hide your badge you don't need people don't need to know the fuck you are and do a lot where to be I think seen and not heard like a child Yeah, I can tell you right now a demerit and this is like just in life in general But especially like if you're at a conference and you're at a session do me a favor Do not ever ask a fucking question. Oh my god Yeah, just shut the fuck up like strategy shut the fuck up shut the fuck up And it's like the crazy thing is all of these things you could go up to them afterwards so easily so easily you could It's school again. It's the same people that are asking the questions are the one that ask questions right involved They've been a fucking little goody goody their whole ass lives and they need to be like um I actually like for example in my branch.
We have a bit We're not even talking about your brand right now shut the fuck up. That's the worst shit kills because that's That is what it is. It's always well So at my school and it's like dog you are the only one in this room that works at your school So I get that you might think it will relate to me It won't and if it does I don't give a fuck just to you her shot you teach it bad school What do you want to fucking metal sometimes it's the opposite sometimes they're like well actually I should have private school in San Diego And this isn't really an issue for us and it's like well then you bring that up rub who gives a shit damn crime get all worked up about it I don't know what else there is. Yeah, I don't I mean a perk We kind of already mentioned it But a perk to me is like a three-perk is like getting the dirty dirt on your co workers I mean bro just spying is very quite lit in general But just like you get to spy on people yes at a conference But a negative perk it is just the opposite end of the spectrum is like if we're in Sacramento And it's all the only thing for us to do for the like seven hours in between us going to bed and the end of that conference Is to drink and eat guess who's also gonna spill some of their beans?
It's me it's me chest you at seven years and only a pretzel to eat and so he's very very very drunk and he's gonna say some uncouth shit And so it's important To not believe what time what if you talk shit? Yeah, exactly and I mean I talk so much shit already dog All we do is talk shit because we're better than everyone yes So where the time comes with those juices are flowing and I got them yes I got them in me I it can't be had we got it wait we gotta mention one thing along these lines This is a definitive one for me for strategy drew goes. It's not the time No, it has to be secret. It has to be a secret solo mission.
Yeah, that one's that one is very very tough to me Yeah, obviously giving a presentation or a talk is so bad That's the huge one if you're going in order to be a presenter Terrible and something that could be done over zoom big time. I have a bunch of I have a bunch of We all have those two anything that can be done over zoom like we don't need to be here if this is a fucking Slide show right it's too much and it's like our thing was like specifically to meet each other you know I mean right right right right which makes sense conferences most of the time Presentations yeah, and that's all they are I also think I can't I don't want to put this maybe it's perk I guess it's technically perks and it's a one key note speeches So all of these teacher ones they all have key no work conference I think it's pretty standard where they have a keynote speaker and so they get some author or some like Quasai celebrity within the field and they have them do this big fucking like TED talk at the beginning That's like 30 minutes long. I just like it sucks It's never someone cool and even if it is even if it is even if they're like this guy's such and such and he did such and I'm like well, that's tight. Oh my god giving like a 20 minute presentation in a room full of hundreds of people.
Oh, it stinks It stinks so bad. Yeah, it I Sounds bad that's horrible and it just feels like why are you doing it like is this because it is a perk right? It's supposed to be like we're giving them jazz by getting this guy But so often those people especially in that situation are there just to kind of pump their stuff Like I can't tell you the amount of keynote speakers I've had where they are definitely just trying to sell their book You know where it's like within the first five minutes or like you can read about this experience that I had in my book Like teaching with one arm tied behind my back where I detail all of this stuff I won't give too much of it away, but I'll be selling copies at the front and it's really worth a shot You know how can I resist after that cliffhanger? Yeah cool Oh, it has your stupid face on the front and it's a fucking paperback of course you nerd Yeah Fewer a real teacher it'd be permabound.
That's a joke for all my teachers out there. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, of course You're an idiot. Well, I think that's good.
I think we did it. Yeah It kind of made me want to go on one. I think it's a net positive honestly I like I think it's a fun little it's not much, but it is yeah, and it's like it's it's different. It's like Not the worst vacation you could have and not the worst day at work You could have but not the best of those things either, which is interesting like at the end of the day you still this you didn't you didn't pay for That's great Like yeah, how bad can something be where somebody paid for your flight to like fucking New Orleans or Palm Springs or Sedona or wherever you're going?
Yeah So get out there and get a workshop and like honestly you mentioned it if y'all if y'all think it's even a possibility Just find a fucking conference and ask your people because one they might say yes and two it looks like you're showing initiative Even though you really just want a vacation It looks like oh look at little little Jimbo searching up conferences. He's really interested in professional development It's like yeah, it's definitely that I'm interested and not you know beautiful Baltimore big downloads in Australia Dan and I Can't do there's nothing I got like three Australian things and none of them are savory. It's me Skyla Stone That's celebrity chef from Australia Skyler Stone not a celebrity chef. You're doing Curtis Stone Who's this like who am I thinking of Skyler Stone the guy who threw a fucking hissy fit when he didn't respond about doing my backyard show?
And then I say Curtis Stone Curtis Stone Shout out to Australia shout out to West Virginia. Yeah, I'm mostly to me. Yeah, my two great locations that couldn't have more in common Old West Virginia and Australia not that I've been to either but I assume they are incredibly similar. Yeah, they got sunshine and idiots Thank you for listening dumb enough to download no don't call them idiots They downloaded our podcast.
That's exactly why and then obviously the country in third place that you and I both know Yeah, shout out to all you shout out to Australia shout out to West Virginia Shoutable Gary a free of my very favorite places shout out to you shout out to work drips. They're pretty okay Adam Fay for the art. Yep. Debone Jones for the music