Hello again ladies and gentlemen welcome to another episode of Jesse Wilders Guide to Life. I'm Jesse That's Wilder and today we are guiding your life. What it is with it? Oh, we got a cool guy on our hands Yeah, I've been taking this time to everyone's kind of has a skill they're developing, you know during this lockdown time Yeah, tell me might as well just get cool as hell about time honestly Yeah, I mean I already was sort of leading the game in cool as hell But I'm getting cooler by the minute.
I don't think so. I don't think you're getting cooler And I don't think you were leading any games, but I'm glad that you've dedicated your life to a worthy cause yeah It's done. I'm already there. So you did so sort of already finished You got anything else on deck or you just gonna I'm sort of at like a 99 out of a hundred And I'm just gonna like really hone my craft for that last one.
What are you doing to get cooler? Okay, tell the people as I'm sure they want to know your trade secrets. Okay, step one juggling done learn that Oof step two close up magic working on that bad step three actual magic You know I mean like casting spells and stuff doing some spells fourth thing. I'm doing practical magic Oh, just doing all types of magic.
What's practical? Is that movie it is a movie? Who's in that one? I didn't see it cool.
You want to talk about it somewhere? You don't want to talk about the 1998 drama new you were practical magic with oh, you know, who's in this movie sandy brother sandy B Sandra Bullock is that we're doing here? Yeah, dog. We got sandy B.
We got Nicole Kidman. Oh my god What did you do with your time butterfly knife? I'm getting very incredibly good with a butterfly knife What situations are you whipping the butterfly knife out in bro? Just whenever I mean I my honestly I it's I want to be non-threatening because we're doing this in peace, right?
I'm just trying to kind of like sure nothing less threatening than a butterfly knife It's more of an art than it is anything else in it for the art. Yeah, and I'm just gonna kind of bounce it around my knuckles like they do It does the noise it does the little Yeah, yeah, you know it does that all that cool stuff and I'm just doing it whenever I'm breaking it out at the mall food court to cut My sabbar o pizza crust off because I'm watching my carbon take I'm I'm yes I'm doing it in line at the DMV and I whip it out And I just pick the spinach out of my teeth with it Yeah, do you sort of give your you shave yourself sort of swingy Todd style? Yeah, I give myself a little close up with it Yeah, on the train or whatever. Would you ever just like pop it on a string and sort of just make a yo-yo out of it?
Yeah, I do that's one of my things I go around the world I walk the dog I go loop the loop I do the comeback the boomerang nice I don't really see the difference between a butterfly knife and a yo-yo to be honest Yeah, I mean there more or less the exact same thing would you do you think that maybe you think that because you're so stupid and You know anything is you got to tell them what the topic is because I won't I can't reveal any more of my butterfly knife tricks Before I'm ready. So tell them what we're talking about today. We are right on time with some more practical stuff for you guys You almost said practical magic again sounds like you want to talk more about practical magic I don't want to talk about anything less than the film practical magic of which neither of us knows a thing about continue We are all sort of in the same boat these days. We're all stuck in our homes So we're gonna give you the perfect working from home day slash maybe like a sick day slash quarantine day, you know Yeah, just a day where you're not allowed to leave the house We don't have to think about this as linear like one day like this is all the things you're gonna do in a single day Correct.
These are all things you could do in a single day Yeah, and this is I do actually think that you and I have some legitimate expertise here I'm getting I'm getting my masters online So I've been going to school from home over a year now just you know getting my damn learning on because I love to learn And I'm telling him nothing in the world's stupider than learning Yeah, it's true Please and you yourself Wabu spent what 55 years in freelance hell just doing a bunch of tippy typing all the time correct So you we've this is maybe the most qualified we've ever been for a topic honestly Yeah, so just fucking strap in and get your get your thinking hats on and get your binoculars on but binoculars I do mean your glasses. Oh boy. I think we should make a category for productivity. Okay.
I like that Yeah, you know what I mean? Like let's talk about the things it's gonna get the job done and let me give you a very not quite lit Are you ready for this? Yep working from home. Okay, so that's the topic is the topic.
Yes the topic here is okay Nothing in the world worse when you're trying to work from home and you are actually in your home Yeah, I was a coffee bean boy most of my freelance life I would say almost every day I went to the coffee bean I just posted up It's unreal to me that in the very first suggestion We're gonna make of this episode that we decided to record because it was topically relevant You would suggest that people leave their house. I mean truly some of your stupidest work It doesn't look just because it's against the rules sometimes you're gonna break the rules, baby Oh, please. Hey everyone, please don't break the rules You're talking to a guy who's been practicing being very cool and one of the coolest things you can do is break the rules Oh my god, please that's just a fact if the Olympics get canceled It's your fault because you broke too many fucking quarantine rules the Olympics are gonna get canceled. I'm just trying to prepare myself Okay, we can't talk about this again.
Yeah, working from home while working from home is bad You should go to a second location if possible Yeah, sure like a cool office office, you know actually can I give you an alternative? I kind of think you could tell me more about this But I almost think office very pretty good because when I'm in an office I feel like I got all my office mates. I can be I can sort of slack off productively But if I'm in like a coffee bean, I'm not I only got two options drink a coffee and do my fucking work Yeah, that's the real issue with why you can't work at home because there's a TV over there There's a fucking vidgy game over there. There's a you know a small horse or whatever you have in your home That's preventing you from doing it.
How about let me give you another very pretty good one. Yeah brewery with Wi-Fi Yeah, I mean I don't even I have a dabbled in this road. Okay, and like the first hour or two Yeah, you're productive the next hour or two. You're not you're singing.
I was drinking songs with all your new friends Yeah, I don't it's to be honest. I don't even love this. I feel like I'm this is I'm out on but I get it's It's use case. I'm gonna give you one is very quite lit or should I say very quite list.
I'm talking about it to do list, baby Okay to do list. Yeah, very quite list You love that I did I liked it I love it to do list like on a day where I don't like maybe I'm just gonna bunch of shit to knock out and you do that Little trick where you put one on there that you may be already did or that's super easy You don't like you just have to send an email to someone and you're like, I'm gonna put that right What at the top so I could really get my day going I don't do that I don't put things on my to-do list. I've already done to make myself feel better like a baby Let me you know what I like to do like to take a little post it I stick it right in the little little empty space part of my laptop Do I mean next to the track that oh yeah love that love that keep that there all day folded up Oh, you know it's not going anywhere I got a little desk pad at home that says from the desk of mr. McGrath and it's and that's okay It's written in comic stands.
Also. It has my picture on it Category I want to say like a quick monk. You know what I mean a quick monk. No, dude We're not this is not this is why you don't get to make a cow bow a stand-up desk.
Oh, that's kind of cool Yeah, I do like that. Well one of those one that's that's a converter so you could do stand-up or sit down home office, right? Like that's very quite lit to me. You could sit that's a good way to work at home if you go to another damn room I guess yeah, I guess yeah, okay The thing that we find out a lot on this show is that it's just so tight to be fucking rich dude a home office Can you imagine him being rich sounds fun dude?
Why aren't we rich yet? What would you put in your home office? Like what kind of equipment we got there? It's tough, right?
Because you got a really you almost got to pick a theme you don't want it to be too fun But you don't want it to be bored. What do you want to fuck a cubicle? No? No, I want a I'll tell you what I want I want a desk a big desk that that Faces towards the door, you know, I'm tired of fucking a desk facing a wall or a window like a baby I want to be oh you want to be able to call people in and be like hey come into my office Yes, you could like fire people that live in your house.
Well, not only that so you're firing your roommates Which is obviously very quite lit what I don't come in. Oh first of all intercom, right? Yeah, firing your roommate is gotta be I don't know what this is what this is activities Kevin Can you come in here for a minute Kevin Kevin comes in you don't make eye contact yet Because you're still like shuffling some papers and say Kevin really upset with your work with the dishes this month And Kevin's like I was trying to get to the dishes and then you're like Kevin You're fired you're out of here bud deals off the deal is off. I love that so I need that big desk I need let me give you a how about this for home office like cool like snacks, right?
Like a cool like one of those Coca-Cola fridges right a little mini free Maybe some beers not too many you've got some like you got some beers in there But you've also got like some like ice cold cocolas or you've got some like delicious blue powerade Hey little iced coffee not blue powerade. I don't know what kind of freco you are with that And then yeah, like down at the bottom you got just like your four o'clock beverages your five o'clock beverages meaning Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Bunch of Devil's milk bunch of Devil's milk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, this is good. We've except for that we're building We're doing a different we're now which is home office.
We gotta we gotta like special treats Oh, how about we call it self care? What do you know that? Mm-hmm self care? They're quite lit to me delivery.
Oh getting a little delivery food Yeah, I like that. I like that. I like a cook. Come on.
Oh, actually, no, I do kind of want to cook I do because I'm at home. So that's kind of the special treat is that like oh, I don't know you have to cook every night Yeah, I mean, I guess all right all right hard today. This is about this is about it's self care. It's self care It's self care.
I get sure very not quite lit power outage. I'm gonna say like circumstances So power outage a bad one. I'll give you another bad one. I think these are gonna be mostly bad Getting more work You might you struck fear in my heart just saying that here.
It's like three o'clock You're like I'm kind of cruising and you can email it's like actually God turns out you got it. We got 10,000 times more work. Oh god I got another very not quite lit one for you on conference call blood who has the fucking time? Yeah, oh god damn.
Thank you. That's horrible self care a very pretty good one getting a little exercise Because it's important and it does give me feel good. Okay, but it's exercising So then you're sweaty and if you're really like if you're sticking to the working from home And you're gonna be in home all day because you're also quarantined you have exercise in the home which I fucking hate nothing worse equipment I gotta say very not quite lit for me big games. I cannot resist the siren song is the problem Well, that's gonna be very pretty good.
I feel it because that's also self care. No dude It's just gonna take a little ball break. No, it's always bad because I can't it is impossible for me Jesse to take a little video game Break I'm always like you know what let me fire it up for half an hour I'll be good and then four hours later. I'm like well the rest of us with with adult self control.
It's a two For baby Jesse. It's a one. It's a one baby Jesse hello piece me The baby Jesse that I can't resist me video games. I got so I got very gravelly there at the end my baby voice new character I'm thinking about the idea of your at home and your on lockdown, right?
These are our current circumstances So I guess this would be a circumstance. Uh-huh, but sometimes you got to like oh, maybe oh, I got it I got it. I got it after hours. Okay, you finished your work, right?
Love that. You know that's where video games belong Well, they could go lots of places, but it is a quick it's just a quick minute Let me give you an example for after hours someone a rub Goldberg machine now hear me out. They're fucking fun as hell They are fun as hell. Do you think it's a very pretty good because it's hard and can be frustrated and it's more work I mean hard is an understatement One of the hardest things that you could make What kind of like what kind of things tell me about what you see playing out in this room Goldberg machine that you're building Okay, so here's gonna be like a practical one like is it gonna end up like answering the door or getting the mail or something Here's the problem with a rub Goldberg is that yeah?
Tell me the problem with a rub Goldberg is that I'm wondering the internet? It's not rubes fault. It's not rubes fault even a little bit the internet has made it So we can see everybody's very best very great rub Goldberg machines Yeah, and they're gonna be better than like in a warehouse and there's like fire and like and like Home like fucking live firearms like why let me ask you a question. Is it a row of dominoes a rub Goldberg machine?
No Why not it is not what if that domino and the last one ends with it doing something hmm if the last domino falls and it like maybe Drinks a doorbell so for example at that point does it become a group over the Wikipedia for rub Goldberg says a rub Goldberg machine is named after American cartoonist rub Goldberg is a machine intentionally designed to perform a simple task We've actually talked about this on wiki pizza on the old one because one of his characters was professor butts in the self-operating Oh, yeah Yeah, what was his name gorgon lucifer gorgon solo butts yeah exactly correct oh my quick shout out to lucifer gorgon solo butts biggest the biggest homey Just gonna put in bonus points lucifer gorgon solo butts yeah, you gotta if your dominoes ring a doorbell It's technically a rub Goldberg machine. It's the wackest fucking one, but yes I got another after hours because I'm feeling froggy. What about Making a wild style choice for example You do a little fashion show give me a whole category for it baby. Give me the wardrobe category, please Oh, you're talking wardrobe finally for the whole day damn very quite lit.
How about this brother nothing at all? Oh, you want to be nude are you out of your fucking mind? Oh damn day, bro You I'm not gonna wear clothes until this virus is killed bro. I'm there's no way I'm putting that in fucking very quite I hate being naked.
You know that I'm a never-dude baby. No reason for clothes You're telling me you're gonna sit in like your desk chair with your just your sweaty nuggets for four hours in a conference call Oh better better hurry up and get dressed or get fired also conference call. I mean think about video conference call Oh, is there something worse than one? Oh, yeah, I mean bad.
It's bad So yeah, nude very quite lit. We both agree. It's going very pretty good and honestly it doesn't deserve that Please chime in tweet it wilder about how fucking wild it is to and I will give here's what I'll give a three bathrobe There see now we're talking baby. Uh-huh.
I gotta tell you another very pretty good one to me sweatpants and pajamas sweatpants BJs what are you talking about they're comfortable. It's very cool that is cool I believe I'm wearing sweatpants right now, and I do not think I'll change them all day They make me feel like a giant piece of shit is the one thing about them to me Okay, but bro depends on the sweatpants like joggers nah joggers Jog that's incorrect right now if I wear the joggers it means I'm jogging this is the rules I have to tell you I don't want to talk about it a lot because I know I know that nobody wants to hear about it But if I am going to be sitting for three plus hours them nugs on my downstairs are going to get what is your fucking solution? You can't wear sweatpants and you can't wear nothing I have some what's gonna do it right for your nugs I have some comfy pants I have some comfy like basically like kind of loose fitting either like I have some if it's a little bit chillier I might put on some some denim some jeans. I have some kind of over a little bit fucking animal oversight in prison You'd rather sit around your house all day in jeans and then sweatpants Can I tell you can I tell you what my ideal is if the weather's permitting is some fucking tuxedo is a slacks Yeah, it's some I'm gonna relax with some chinos No, I like a for some reason that makes me feel less like a piece of shit if I'm wearing like athletic shorts like basketball shorts Is it is number one yeah, basketball shorts is a good one I often wear those can we put that very well shorts incredible?
I just sweatpants just give me such a feeling like I'm just in like just a fucking sloth This is you problem I think cuz what pants are exquisite I like them at night I like them in the evening I like them when I get home from a long day and I'm like let me pop these these denims off and big fuzzy hoodie Honestly home work from home day. I'm clear the better What's your ideal chair situation like we're at home you have to be you're gonna be sitting a lot if we're talking ideal If you got a desk that could accommodate like a big fucking lazy boy You know what I mean? Oh no dude No, here's what you do if you have a laptop you sit up in your lazy boy You work work and then you grab that laptop and you kick back a little bit This is the most big dog. This is the most we've ever disagreed.
I think in a single episode I cannot disagree more like comfort is what it seems like to me You don't like to wear sweatpants you don't like to kick back in a big comfy chair if I so first of all you know you're You know you're gonna fall asleep. You know I'm gonna fall asleep. Yeah, well This is not my problem boy I cannot be productive if I'm too comfy what you're saying is so wild to me I have to separate work and play if I'm on the couch like I cannot it's very hard for me to work on a couch So in your wildest dreams you are working at home in jeans in an uncomfortable chair You can't be company otherwise you'll fall asleep. No look I can have a regular chair a regular ass desk chair But like you're talking about a lazy boy like how does that even fit?
Okay, so you have a desk big enough to fit a lazy boy You can't even like slide in and out like you're gonna have to what climb over the arm of the lazy boy and then pull the desk in front of you That doesn't make any sense lazy boys on wheels. That's ridiculous. What you're saying is ridiculous. We're not doing a business with beans Oh because I could I could sell anything thinking about it So then I guess by that measure uncomfortable has to be very pretty good as well Yeah, right.
Yeah, it does. There's no perfect thing because that's what working from home is it kind of sucks I was talking in the kitchen in our home. Yeah, it's exactly what I was thinking because I was gonna go into that with self-care So snacks is obviously so mandatory. Yeah, it's a dank snacks.
Yeah, the dank snacks You need several pick me up throughout the day. It's a big honestly It's a big source of power day so we don't have to get fully into it But like it is you're gonna need to tap into your sources of power to get through the day Oh productivity I do need a coffee, you know what I ooh, you know what I love very very quite actually know this equipment very quite lit I have my own coffee pot at home. So I get to just make a full pot of coffee and just help my fucking self Oh, I do love that. I don't need coffee after hours very quite late leave the house, right?
Maybe like a happy hour Oh, is it time to happy hour with somebody happy hour fun too because you can see that one of the beauties of home is You could pregame a little bit at work, you know, like you're like well I'm working till five but at four or fifteen. I'm gonna grip and rip it like that's if I'm just gonna start doing shots Oh, yeah, it's time to start cranking some rosé maybe yeah, yes, dude I think it's a good circumstance like works canceled. Oh my god. Yeah, no work big time work canceled self-care I mean dog.
Oh, this one this I feel like dog almost always a two for us. I think dog is gonna be a three dog is a three Yeah, and I hate to do it, but Cat gotta be one huh because you're gonna smell the litter box the cat gonna jump on your head or whatever those things do What's the deal with that the cats always just like um my space where you are my cat's gonna cat is what really gonna happen? No, I just went lazy boy office chair very not quite late. It's objectively horrible.
That's a bad one You're so stupid. I'll give you that it's comfort weird that I don't need comfort What you explained is it a lazy boy on wheels, bro. That's it that's the self care another self care for me I do need a little bit of a schedule. What do you think about that?
How so like for me? I need to I Let's say like you have a pro like you have like three projects that need to get done And they just need to get done before five I need to really be like okay I'm going to work from eight to three and I'm gonna like wake up at seven and shower and eat breakfast and then start work It like I need to have a sort of a plan. I know we talk about play it a lot I gotta have a plan I can't just be like well I'm gonna wake up whenever and then I'll shower maybe when I get a break and then like I need to have sort of some structure I think is what I'm what I'm getting at yeah, and it's just another classic case you being so fucking boring But I'll take it oh my god Yeah, why don't you give me one of your fucking fun ideas for working from home, bro? Okay?
The imparty easy stupid. What does that even mean fiesta work from home? Taco bar, okay, that's what you're saying is absolutely nothing after hours. How about this one more work horrible, right?
Some of that nasty dankies tanky The stank dude the other thing that sucks is when somebody home and not working from home You know what I mean? So you're you're just like just jelly in your peripheral just watching them like get up at 11 You know bowl of cereal and it's like who the fuck do you think you are? I can't aren't you part of this fucking society? Yeah, Kevin.
I thought you fucking fired you That's the problem is when you fire Kevin. He's just gonna make it feel like shit cuz he doesn't have anything to do He's gonna be in that lazy boy eating cereal you can bet that I'm going to use the your fired bit to the Microphone that I live with I'm absolutely gonna fire this week Maybe several times probably Sorry bedroom, but I'm sure the question of everyone's mind is how are you gonna do this without an office? Well in our bedroom we have a desk so that's the alternate and face it You should do it so that it's like just a millimeter away from the door when she opens it You're just right there Yeah, or even right out or even you can't even open the door all the way like it bumps up Sure, and then you have to bend your head around and go by the way you're fired. Oh very not quite lit circumstances like tiny room You live in a tiny house, you know the tiny house the tiny house people Or is Netflix falling all this bad I think it's incredibly bad, but it is also a source of if you don't have cable that could be a source of just like Background shit.
Yeah, but it's not a bit very pretty good. I don't even think so I gained nothing from it If the idea very pretty good is that it's like sometimes good sometimes bad I would rather work in silence than put on that I would not rather work inside. I cannot work in silence, but sounds is very not quite lit I'll just make noise myself. I was like nah nah Yeah, be booby bobby boy.
Just gotta make some sounds self care hygiene if you do have to leave the house for a run What do we get oh? If you gotta go on a run, you know what I mean? You mean a run like a Office is gonna be the alternate version of delivery like you're gonna go grab a sandwich or oh yeah Yeah, maybe run to the nearest gas station to get a pack of pistachios Well, I like I'm if I'm not like maybe I don't want to make my own breakfast Right. I love to walk down and get like a little bacon a can cheese or a little bagel or a little coffee in a pastry Something like that.
Let me ask you this we know this isn't a category question But I just want to kind of go down this road What is the perfect work snack and to me that means something that you can eat while you're working and it's one-handed Maybe even no-handed Okay, tell me what a no-handed snack is dog some like sunflower seeds where you could pop them in your mouth Mmm, and then use both hands while you're punching on you know you just bespoke that to me I I gotta say that you're a big seed. I'm a big seedman the problem with seeds is that they taste like shit So they're so good. I just got these ones that are there's covered in old-based seasoning. It's so fucking good I want some that's one-handed, but doesn't get my hands all cheeto dusty Like I'm gonna touch my keyboard after I've been slugging some cheetos well the thing that we always go back to which is it just mixed nuts Mix nuts, okay, but sometimes those can be a little bit salty a little greasy boring bro Where's the sugar no bro?
No, no thing. I was gonna say it's pretzels hard pretzels crispy little rules gold Yeah, I just like I'm not as hot to hard pretzels as the rest of the world. They're fine Oh, they're so they just they make you so thirsty. I need to pair that with a beverage good I gotta tell you more beverages the better it will work from home day.
I want coffee like a pretzel stick or a pretzel bow I like the bow, but I'll take either I like a stick cuz I can dip easier. Can we agree that more beverages the better more beverages the better? I'm gonna have an assortment of beverages this day. That's what I want right like I want a clock I want to have a soda pop I'm going to have a beer.
I'm going to have a wine I'm going to have a devil's milk. I'm gonna have it all yeah I might find some cows go weirdo like a Arizona if I'm feeling extra nasty the pro I cannot drink Arizona anymore because I do feel like my teeth are gonna fall out after After one sip. Oh, nobody asked if you were a fucking bitch How about like a little potion like one of those little potion pomegranate juice bottles a little palm I don't like those. I don't like those.
I don't like those. I don't like those. I don't like though They're so tough. You know what I you know what I'm speaking of freaky little bottles I don't rip the other day just for the hell of it got myself one of them little Martin Ellie grenades Mmm little so fucking choice dog apple juice baby.
Oh my god. It's more nellies Unbelievable. How good Martin Ellie's and a fucking sparkling all things sparkling. I'll think not sparkling.
It doesn't matter. It's all good It's just enough. It's perfect amount on the little apple. It really is it is the perfect amount I love some fuzzy socks.
I'll give you that just some warm fuzzy fucking socks. I'm ribbonsome right now I feel great. I got some circumstances for you gone very quite lit. Well, I don't know tell me a rainy day That's very quite lit right.
That's when you want to be inside you feel like oh, this is yeah, that's fine I love a rainy day, so I'm always gonna be that's always gonna be very quite lit to me no matter what very not quite though It's a nice beautiful day because you wish the most beautiful day of the year not quite well Self-care very not quite lit binging. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah, he wrote circumstance very not quite Weekend yeah, that should be against the law. It's a crime working from home on a weekend Is there anything I'd rather be in the office?
Well in my stupid ass which this is a maybe a self-care or circumstance But my I'm an idiot and I procrastinate everything and so I'll have a sign Yeah, do one Sunday and then I'll be like well I guess I'm doing I'm Sunday and then and then there I am on the weekend in my little room do my stupid work That's same with me editing this podcast. Yes, a chore for sure I put good I put binging very not quite lit binging anything like binging food. You're gonna feel bad binging television You're not getting worked on like this very quite well internet. Oh, yeah, you gotta have the internet But what are you doing?
Are you fucking faxing people or something? What's going on here? Okay? Bad they gotta be bad that's not all of them baby.
We already put disdunk. That's a good one But other types of drugs so just don't is very quite lit every other I'm gonna Oh, I actually I know exactly we're talking about oh I mean some of the some of the drugs are gonna be good for productivity Okay, I think as is literally always the case drugs is medium just the way it rolls a break Is that very pretty good like taking a break cuz I feel like sometimes my land you think so it's fucking mandatory It's like a lunch break. You know what I mean? Do it work anyways.
Yeah, I sometimes I give myself to me breaks Too nice of a boss. Here's what I'm hearing this whole episode is that you're too big of a baby to live And so you can't we have to put you in this fucking contained room. There's nothing comfortable true breaks allowed Yeah, otherwise you just won't do anything and you're falsely. Yes, correct I have to be turned into an adventure server to get any amount of work done What do we think about other human contact?
Where does that come from? That's self care for sure and that's gotta be a two Right it's gotta be a two. I was gonna jump on a three But no, it's gotta be a two cuz sometimes they're gonna suck the suck the hustle right out of you Yeah, it's true cuz fucking Kevin first of all Kevin's got nothing to do now He's been fired Kevin walks in he goes hey I think I might just crush like a 12-pack alike Bud Light Seltzer in the living room and you're like Kev fuck me You son of a bitch on in Kev I like Kev Kev pops in like 25 minutes after he's incredibly chill that you fired him after he's fired He pops in like 25 minutes later. He's pretty chilly.
He's like I'm just gonna crush a 12 her I think I'm just gonna I just gotta slam this 12 I just got these pink lemonade mics are lemonades that I gotta get rid of God are you in my dude and you cannot leave Kevin hanging I got a chug of them and I got a bar from the least you could do is Chuck some mics hard with Kevin after you cost him his job right be good to Kevin is what I'm trying to say be good to Kevin I think we found ourselves a bonus point be good to Kevin these bonus points are nothing The first one is firing your roommate so that is not being good to Kevin The opposite of being good to Kevin is to fire Kevin after hours you got to get a little weird Oh, how weird how weird we talking I mean just like you've been in business mode all day Yeah, you know what we do tonight you got to bring the you got to bring the ballots back What are we talking here? I mean just get shave your head do anything just get a little over your head your head That is very not quite lit to me shave your head after hours wrong. That is a bad one It sucks that I think maybe you've never been so wrong about anything before as this episode after hours of putting that Head such a bad one, I don't know bro. I'm just saying you gotta get a little I mean even just like I'm talking about any even little things Can you I think if you're gonna get weird?
I want to do it at home That's what I'm saying is like I'm saying like you okay you finish your work right and you've been in your bedroom And you've been in your bedroom just let me paint your work Maybe this big day even filling this bedroom with all of your business energy right which is great You're making do you and it is time to suck that business energy out that's right You need to bring back so maybe you get up and you talk to yourself a little bit You know I'm talking about when you're like in your home alone and you're like oh somebody finished is what? Yeah, and then Kevin comes in he's like sorry call me You're like no Kevin I'm not talking to you. That's a type of weird shit I'm talking about like maybe you have a desk fan and you start doing the like lily lily lily lily lily I see what you're saying. Yeah, do the lily lily lily to the desk fan yeah, okay Yeah, this is actually prime time to like film yourself doing something to right You're gonna try to bounce a ping pong ball from the floor into like a cup on the table Like this is where we get creative where we putting becoming a vine star is that after hours?
Okay, well vine star vine dead so that one's bad so very not quite lit becoming a vine star. Oh Just like working on your tik-tok. I suppose that one's no I still I'm not really sure how the tik-tok is I'm gonna generalize they become a become an influencer. I don't like this.
This is not really what I was talking about What are you talking about doing like trick shots and yeah trick shots, bro? Just put trick shots I mean that's basically the I'd similar idea with the rubleberg right is you would fit you would do the rubleberg It's not just for you, but you want to do the rubleberg Let me paint a picture for you you you ask somebody what they did And they with like say let's say the weekend right we're just breaking away from working from home You to say hey what you do this weekend they say oh, I'm I made a big a huge rubleberg machine And if someone told that to me I'd be like yo really and they'd be like yeah I'd be like can I like what did it do like it? Let me see it and then what if they were like oh I didn't take a video or any pictures not on their fucking liar I know you didn't make one. Can you imagine making a root gold machine?
I'm not taking any picture videos. I just do it for the sport. I just do it for me, baby Oh, was it like you and your friends now just me in the house sort of a little after hours thing I like to treat myself with yeah me and my dog buster we just made it together I like this list Look at you look at them fucking after hours very not quite lit More work shave your head getting into mine finally. That's all I got for this Yeah, I think this was good.
It was maybe not our funniest, but it was thorough and we did we do like exactly Maybe about it. This was actually not our funniest. Yeah, shut up to PDX. Shout out to Brooklyn.
Oh, yeah I should Ashburne Virginia. Shout to Boston. Mm-hmm. Shout to San Jose someone at home in the sharks.
Yep That they're all listening all of them all my favorite sharks I don't name any just for out of respect for them and their families big Adam Fay big bad Todd and Kevin I'm sorry that we fired you big shout out to Kevin big shout out to everybody who's yeah Shout to Tony Hawk big shout to Tony Hawk as usual big shout out to everybody who's following the fucking rules and staying inside and watching our goddamn hands Yeah, and just wash your hands is the other thing just wash them just wash them. Well, it's not just one That one's not as big to me as like stay the fuck home You don't need to go like I'm still seeing people out just like just hanging out like sitting down in the park Hey, just take one off take a couple of the weeks off and give you alright yeah Alright, um in that same vein. We should announce that we're gonna do some a little special episodes a little shorties Yeah, little quarantini episodes little booty shorts. Yeah, so keep your people for that We're gonna try and pop a couple of them that won't be as long and probably will be as equally as unfunny But it'll be content which is really all anybody crazy at the length twice the amount of boring is what I'm going for Oh hell yeah, I'm not gonna say consume one another.
Oh, I'll say don't worry. So don't forget everyone to