（英语）来不及说谢谢的那份爱｜回忆录第十六集｜EP.1859

“Love is not what you say. Love is what you do.”爱，不是你说了什么，而是你做了什么。 — David WilkersonBecause I started working part-time as an English teacher, my income gradually became more stable.因为我开始兼职担任英语老师， 我的收入也逐渐稳定下来。At the age of 20, I was already earning around 24,000 NTD a month.To me, that meant something important— it meant I could finally take care of myself.20岁那年，我每个月已经可以赚到大约 24,000 台币。 对我来说，那代表着一件很重要的事—— 我终于可以养活自己了。Around that time, I met an insurance agent while working at McDonald’s, and I bought my very first savings insurance policy.也是在那段时间，我在麦当劳工作时认识了一位保险业务员， 买下了人生中的第一份储蓄型保险。Growing up, my mom always believed in insurance. To her, it was a way to protect the future.从小到大，我妈妈一直都很相信保险。 对她来说，那是一种保护未来的方式。So when I made that decision, she was the first person I wanted to tell.所以当我做了这个决定时， 她是我第一个想分享的人。But the truth is, my relationship with my mom had always felt a little distant.但事实是， 我和妈妈的关系一直有点距离。She was quiet, not very expressive. And I was always closer to my dad.她很安静，不太会表达情感， 而我一直都比较亲近爸爸。That started to change when I moved away for college.直到我离开家去念大学后， 一切才开始改变。My mom began calling me almost every day— sometimes three or four times a day.妈妈开始几乎每天打电话给我， 有时候一天三、四次。At the end of each month, when I was short on money, she would quietly transfer me 2,000 NTD.每到月底我快没钱的时候， 她会默默转 2,000 块给我。I knew that was love. But back then, I didn’t really know how to receive it.我知道那是爱。 但那时的我，并不懂得怎么接住这份爱。I even changed her caller ID on my phone to… “Death Calling.”我甚至把她的来电名称改成…… “夺名索魂扣”。Looking back now, it’s a little funny… and a little heartbreaking.现在回头看， 有点好笑，也有点心疼。One day, I called her to tell her that I had bought my first insurance policy.有一天，我打电话告诉她， 我买了人生第一份保单。I thought she would be proud of me.我以为她会为我感到骄傲。But instead, she got upset and said,“If you have money to buy insurance, why didn’t you put it under my name?”但她却有点生气地说： “你既然有钱买保险， 为什么不放在我名下？”At that time, I didn’t understand. I thought she was being petty.当时的我完全不懂， 甚至觉得她有点小气。I was trying to build my future— why couldn’t she just be happy for me?我只是想为自己的未来努力—— 为什么她不能单纯替我开心呢？Three months later, my mom passed away in her sleep.三个月后， 妈妈在睡梦中离开了。When I was going through her belongings, I found something in her drawer.当我在整理她的遗物时， 在抽屉里发现了一样东西。A life insurance policy—just three months old.一份保单——才刚满三个月。She bought it right after that phone call.她是在那通电话之后买的。And the beneficiary… was me.而受益人……是我。In that moment, everything became clear.那一刻， 一切都明白了。She wasn’t being selfish.她并不是自私。She was loving me in the only way she knew how.她只是用她会的方式， 在爱我。� 女性限定｜15分钟人生方向釐清对话如果你正在思考更自由的人生，请到网页flywithlily.com/discover预约加入女性支持社群的云雀实验室，请加微信：iflywithlily海外同学，请试着登入官网flywithlily.com/6am 了解详情