You're The One That I Want: Pull My Ferret?

April showers usually bring May flowers, but this week they're bringing unwelcome houseguests of all shapes and sizes. College decisions are out, and we may have uncovered a conspiracy big enough to make the cover of Treats magazine. Speaking of uncovering treats, we've got a virgin cult, a surprise baby, and a potential "don't ask, don't tell" conundrum on our hands. Will our favs finally get accepted? Is there enough bleach in a bottle to blot away their pasts? Only time will tell.